Should I tell my teen I drank as a teenager?

Question

My teenager is 15, and a very good kid. I check his myspace quite often to make sure he's not into anything that could be harmful, and while I'm checking on him, I look at other kid's spaces who I know or are familiar with to try and keep up with what my child might not tell me. I've noticed that a lot of the kids talk about drinking, and they're pretty non-chalant about it. One of the kids talked about how he almost got arrested, but the cop poured the alchohol out and just gave him a warning. I know this kid, and although I figured he would be involved in drinking sooner or later, it is still a kinda weird to know that he is actively drinking. My husband and I have a very open relationship with our child, so I feel that we should tell him what we did as teenagers, but also tell him why we did it. I would appreciate any input.

Answer 1

Honesty is the best policy. My sons are 15 and 16 and I am still quite young myself, 35. We are open and honest about everything. You will get in more trouble lying than you would telling the truth is the motto in our house. Myspace is a great way to keep up with him but do know alot of stretching of the true goes on there, in my findings anyway. It is important to keep an open mind and let your son know you are always there for him if he does decided to make that very adult decision. Talk about driving drunk and never to do it and NEVER get into a car with someone that has been. I tell my boys AND their friends, I do not care what time it is, CALL ME!!!!!! I will not be mad at you for STAYING ALIVE!!!! Good Luck and I hope he makes the right choices, lord knows I pray every day that mine do :)

Answer 2

Yeah, my parents always tell me about what parties they went to and what sort of "bad" things that they did while they were teens. It's okay to tell these things to your child, but make sure that you don't say it in a careless and joking matter because then he may think that this isn't a serious issue. People like the ones that you saw on your son's myspace are usually lying about 98% of the time. They are just looking for attention and they only do these stupid things about 2% of the time, but get seriously hurt or killed. Again, just talk with your child about the dangers of drinking and the laws about it. Talking with your kids about things they encounter when they are teens make them have a better understanding. Not talking with your kids about these things will make them more curious when they hear other kids talking about it.

Answer 3

I'd talk to him about drinking in general, but I wouldn't bring up your past at all unless you find out for sure that he is participating in some of the same things you read about on his friends' myspace pages. He may be a good kid, but you don't want to give him an excuse to do something like that, and knowing that you did it and you turned out okay might just tell him that it's okay to drink when you're underage. You really don't want him partying or driving drunk once he gets his license... or riding in a car with others who do. Keep that in mind. The "I've been there" speech is better left for when you have proof that he's done something, and you're trying to draw it out of him.

He does, however, need to know that you understand what's going on and you are willing to talk with him about whatever is on his mind.

Answer 4

The truth is, it pays to be honest with your kid. I speak as a teenager who has awesome parents. Your son deserves to be told that you drink. He's fifteen; He probably is pretty sure that you did or might have drunk, anyway. Come clean with your son about any regrets and TALK TO HIM from time to time. Don't just check his myspace. My mom pulls that one on me and it annoys me to no end. Talk to him face to face. Myspaces are not always accurate, anyway. There is only so much you can fit in a blog.

Answer 5

I wouldn't volunteer it, I also wouldn't lie if he asks. Just tell him what you expect from him, don't try and be his buddy - it will just backfire on you. Just live your life the way you want to and tell your son what sorts of behaviors you expect from him. If you drink now, odds are he is going to figure out on his own that you drank when you were a kid too. The deal I tried to make with my daughters was that I would shocked if they didn't "party" and that I don't want them drinking and driving or riding with someone who was drinking. If you need a ride, call me - I'll pick you up with no consequences. Of course they have never taken me up on that, I know for a fact they have been to parties involving alcohol (one of them threw up out her bed room window). Assuming you were a child of the 70s, like me, then the laws & consequences of the times were much different then they are today. Kids have a much heavier ax hanging over their heads today than we did.

Most kids don't think/know that their parents look at their web pages. Kids don't put anything on the Internet that you don't want your parents/grandparents/teachers/local police to see, that includes on instant messanger services.

Answer 6

Yes, I think there is no harm in telling your child the things you did as a teen. Just let him know it was a stupid mistake and make sure he understands not to do it. Having an open relationship with your child is GREAT!!! Plus he'll come to both you guys and talk to you without you questioning him! GOOD LUCK MOM!!!

Answer 7

yeah thats perfect. tell your son what u and ur husband did as a teenager. but also explain y u did it and that if what u did was bad tell him y it was bad. and that u should always think before u try to do something stuipd or harmful to ur body.
and at that age thats what all teenagers pretty much think about is sex, drugs , alchohol. that does not mean they are going to do it, its just the unknown that they want to explore/talk about.
good luck i hope this works!

Answer 8

My, what a great relationship you two have with your child! You don't see that with a teenager much now. Yeah, I'd tell him, but I'd also tell him the stupid mistakes you made while being illegally drunk. About his friend...well I;d talk to him about it. Does he really like this guy? Is he the best influence for him? Make sure you don't give him the third degree.

Answer 9

Well yes
I think if ( if ) you kid made a mistake like that was going to
tell him about it
You should be honest with him
He has a right to know that you were once a teenager who did things like that
Tell him that although he knows all that stuff
It can still mess his body up
You might want to stop
him too
like distract him from things like that by like giving him things to do

Answer 10

Our kids knew we drank and we tried to explain to them that because of our experiences we had concerns for them. Kids will try alcohol. THey all do. SOme parents allow drinking in the home. My were always told they would lose car priviledges if they were ever drinking and driving. We had two phone calls asking us to pick up due to alcohol. I was proud she took the inituative to do the right thing.