should I leave?

Question

I have been married for a little over 9 years. Out of these 9 years i would say a good 7 years my husband love to arruge with me. When we do arrgue he threatens divorce, thows his rig at me, tells me i am a waste of time, that the marriage is a waste of time, that I deserve some one better, that he does not want to be my friend, that he does not care anymore.

We do not have any kids we tried back in 2005 and I had reviewed the cell phone bill. I had called my husband asking who this number was he would not tell me so I called the number on speaker. It was another girl she says they never slept together or even kiss. She told me what lies he told her that he is a pilot , he would meet her and some of her friends in a bar, not wearing his ring and then hurry home to me.

He has given me other suppesions though our marriage.

Now I have not been an angel latly and my "friend" he is not to blame.

My husband will take other jobs out of town and or truck drive. I have only seen

I have only seen my husband 6 days this year. Our sex life has gone the tube. Now he is a diabetic and he says this is causing some of his problems and he does not even kiss me romanticly anymore. The last time I have had sex with my husband was before Christmas of LAST YEAR!

I feel as if my husband does not want to be with me at all. My friends and my family wonder why I am still with him and some of my friends say that yeah I am married on paper but otherwise he is just not there for me. Yes he makes a good living and he has done this before but I just done know how much more I am supposed to take.

I did look at our current cell phone bill and he has sent 3,000 text message and I can say that he has not text me that many times.
I do care for him and I love him but it just is not the same anymore.

we do not have any kids and I will have a struggle to make it on my own. I will be 30 in July and my husband will be 35 in Dec.
I just feel like I do not deserve anything in this life. I am not happy or smile much.
I dont even think I will see him until April.

I have asked my husband several times though out the years to go to counceling and he will not go with me he thinks we can work it out on our own.

yes when we got married I loved him and I still do but it just feels very different. He does make a good living even though he is away from home we do talk on our cell phones to eachother. I miss him but even when he was home bback in Feb. it took an act of God to have him help me around the house (ie the backyard) I just feel that we have both grown up and grown apart..

yes when we got married I loved him and I still do but it just feels very different. He does make a good living even though he is away from home we do talk on our cell phones to eachother. I miss him but even when he was home bback in Feb. it took an act of God to have him help me around the house (ie the backyard) I just feel that we have both grown up and grown apart..

I do work and have always wworked. I work for an airline so even when he does not have a load to drive he has the option to fly home for free and he has not even done this!

Answer 1

HUN FIRST OF ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW LIFE IS SHORT, AND YOU ARE WASTING TIME. TIME IS PRECIOUS, LIFE IS PRECIOUS. STOP WASTING TIME AND GET OUT OF THIS MARRIAGE. DO YOU REALLY THINK THINGS ARE GOING TO CHANGE AND GET BETTER? YOU DESERVE BETTER!!! STOP AND THINK. MY DAD TAUGHT ME A LONG TIME AGO TO MAKE A LIST OF THE GOOD AND BAD. LOOK OVER THE LIST AND YOU WILL SEE THERE IS MORE BAD THEN GOOD IN THIS MARRIAGE. DON'T WASTE ANYMORE TIME. YOU ARE JUST USED TO BEING WITH HIM, THAT'S ALL. I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK AND HOPE YOU MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION! HE WON'T CHANGE TRUST ME, IVE BEEN THERE. IT MIGHT BE HARD IN THE BEGINNING, BUT YOU WILL BE OK. GOD BLESS YOU AND I HOPE YOU DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU.... YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY......RIGHT??

Answer 2

FILE FOR A DIVORCE AND LEAVE HIM. There is no point in asking for advice. It is clear that he doesn't love you(maybe never did), that he doesn't want you, and your marriage has really been over for quite a long time. Heartache is hard to get through, but you must face reality and end this fake marriage. And by the way, whether you do it out of spite or not, you don't go out on a spouse for cheating on you. That makes you just as low as he is. You divorce the person before seeking someone else. If you want an honorable man you must be an honorable woman, otherwise all you will have is another one just like him time after time. What kind of a man dates a married woman besides one that thinks infidelity is okay? Think about that one.

Answer 3

Why did you get married to him in the first place, and why have you been married to him this WHOLE TIME? So far, you have listed the reasons to NOT be married to him - but, to be fair, you need to list the reasons to BE married to him, in the same detail. Otherwise, it's impossible to answer this question. If someone yelled at me JUST ONCE calling me a "waste of time" and throwing his ring at me - I would be out the door that day. I don't know what on Earth could make anyone put up with something like this not once, not twice, but multiple times. Sounds like you have no self-respect - but in this case, you will not achieve anything by leaving as you will probably end up in a similar relationship just weeks or months down the road. You really need to work on your self-esteem, and on setting your priorities straight. Good luck.

Answer 4

Y r u blaming Ur self.

Did u make him get her #????
He is not so insanest CZ he is talking to her not to u.
I don't care if she told u they never.
He needs to fix Ur relationship. He don't need to talk to her unless she is both of Ur counselor.

I was going threw the same thing we had 5 years together the only thing we had 3 kids. We would always fight so he started talking to one of his ex and he never told her about me. No we were not marred, but we were living to get her.\
I call her and she told me that he would go out with her and she did not know we had kids together. So I put him out I was not to blame for his selfishness that is What Ur man is he is selfish. He need to sit down and talk to u.
Marriage in a life time thing just like everything u have to work at it. Even if there r no kids u should enjoy each other.

How can he expect u to b like nothing happen when in fact it has. If u don't do something about it this will continue. It may get worse then what?????
Seek help with church or counseling. U can do both.
Stop giving him the OK to go do it. U r worth more than that.......

Answer 5

First let me say sorry to hear about your situation. I would suggest you and your husband sit down with a marriage counsler. I'm sure when you were getting married that there were plenty of reasons the two of you got married. It's never to late to work things out no matter how stubborn the relationship has become as long as deep down both people want to be in love with eachother again like thye once were.

Answer 6

You've pretty much answered your own question, there's nothing left between you and him, he's seeing other women, he's not touching you, etc etc. You're not seeing the forrest thru the trees, take a step back and look at it, what do you see, all the signs are there, love has to come from 2 people, 2 people have to make the relationship work, but here there's only one.......good luck

Answer 7

Sounds like you and your husband need some couples counseling.

He says that you deserve better? or he says that he deserves better? I am little confused there.

You cant have kids.........him or you?? Having kids is
a big deal to men.........its what makes them who they are.
Not being able to have kids can make a man feel like less of a man. Has then been happening since you found out you cant have kids or before then?

My suggestion.....once you marry someone you should do EVERYTHING you can do stay together........work out with the exception of abuse.......then you should get out.

But you say you have a "friend" also. In which case.......
you are not sounding like you are wanting to be married so why ask??

Answer 8

Your husband is a trucker and if u expect him to bring home those good paychecks then yes he will be gone quite often. You are young only 30..get a job..this will occupy a lot of your time...if after obtaining a full time job u still feel it is not working out right...then file for divorce and move on.

Answer 9

Sounds like neither one of you are happy in your marriage. If you can't make it work, then you should probably go your serperate ways. I don't necessarily condone divorce, but it sounds likes both of you have been unfaithful so the vows you took have already been broken. Life's too short to live your life out in an unhappy marriage and from the way it sounds - things are likely to get worse before (or if) they get better.

Answer 10

I think it's time to go on with your life. Life is too short. You got to enjoy yourself. It might seem difficult since it's been 9 years in a marriage, but you will make it. You got to have confidence in yourself. At least you don't have to worry about children. Go on and live your life. It's easy said than done I know, you got to have the strength to go on and if you don't you are just putting some more headaches on you. Live and enjoy!!!