is it common for married guys to adopt the policy "the less my wife knows, the better off i am" ? several of

Question

my married friends swear by it and generally feel the less they tell their wife, the less there is to get b#tched at. i have taken their advice recently. my wife was giving me grief because i was going out to dinner with some old fraternity brothers, once every month or two. my wife was fine with this but was getting aggravated that i was picking up one of my fraternity brothers in penn station in newark new jersey (about ten minutes away from me) because he didnt drive. i have no problem doing this but for some reason she was annoyed that i had to do this, so i adopted their policy and just stopped telling her i was picking him up and problem solved. how do other guys and also women feel about the adoption of the "the less my wife knows the better off i am" policy as an effective policy for reducing the amount of wife b#tching in ones life?

Answer 1

It depends on the wife and of course his behavior.

Of course, the whole premise is selfish. The question should ALWAYS be, will what I'm planning to do improve or harm my marriage.

Once married, it's no longer only about me. It's about us.

However, as your question demonstrates, many times, a partner makes it unsafe to be totally open.

Either she resents the night out, and just complains about this aspect of it because she is too indirect to state how she really feels, or she is some sort of control freak.

So while the question should always be, will this improve my marriage,I certainly see where many man (and women) choose to leave out the details because of their spouses behavior.

Answer 2

Well whereas it may stop the arguing and bitching...it may also lead to trust issues in the r/ship. If you dont tell her, she will start assuming and actually beleiving her assumptions. Just be open man...would you rather she didnt tell you either?
In the long run, honesty is always best. Rather deal with a little bitchiness here and there, rather than a divorce as a result of trust issues. Its not cool

Answer 3

Unfortunately, your statement goes for women too. The less we tell our husbands, the better off we are. Not because we are doing anything wrong, but because by giving all the details, they might think that we are doing something wrong. Honestly, who needs that crap?

It's really a shame that our relationships are reduced to this kind of thinking. Wouldn't it be great if you COULD tell your spouse everything without fear of repercussions?

Answer 4

I don't think that is true. My husband and I talk about everything. We say what we think about it and that is the end of it. If one of us total disagree we talk more about it. But normally we still do whatever we had plan with nothing else said. I know some of my other married friends are not like that. But I think God everyday that we have a relationship like we do. I think relationships you should be honest. Just turn the table...what do you think your wife is hiding from you?

Answer 5

To be honest, if it's really no big deal, then it shouldn't be brought up.

There are numerous times that I wish my husband never talked about his exes and now I feel really insecure and bitter sometimes. I've never brought up a lot of things I've done in the past since I felt it was no big deal and so he has no problem with me.

That being said, you should only fess up if it's important and if it can jeopardize your trust etc. But if it's so little, then you shouldn't bring it up.

Answer 6

I wouldn't tell her either. Why bring more grief upon yourself? Why is she mad that you are picking up your fraternity bro anyway?? Who gets mad at that?? She seems a little nuts to me. I'm assuming you haven't been married for very long. If you start to see a pattern of this type of behavior develop, I would run for your life. It will only get worse.

Answer 7

It would highly piss me off if I found out my husband had been lying to me, cause who knows what ELSE he is lying about. However, I certainly don't understand why your wife would get mad about something so trivial. It wouldn't bother me at all if you had to pick up a friend somewhere. But that's just the type of person I am.

Ask her why it bothers her so much, and if you have, what did she say?

Answer 8

Oh boy, I tell you what, when my husband "omits" something...and I find out...it makes me question EVERYTHING in the relationship. If you can omit telling her you are picking up your friend, you can omit telling her about an affair. I know it is a leap, but it is a natural chain of thinking in this situation. Tell her that if she doesn't stop complaining about everything there will be no communication. She needs to choose her battles. If all she has to complain about is that you are picking up a friend, she is a lucky woman!

Answer 9

certainly a tricky problem Ted yet you should understand the situation below that you met and had a whirlwind marriage, and as Browneyze suggested "what occurs in Vegas continues to be in Vegas". No-one may blame you for considering your nanny as your 'particular' buddy who can grant you with prompt convenience in those circumstances of stress. that's outdoors the code of ethics up to now an huge buddy of your spouse's yet a lot of human beings achieve this and, below the situations, there is little your spouse can say about that's going to she ever come back. you also favor to target to understand (with reference to the international telephone calls) that typically 'having a fling' heavily is different from being unfaithful. imagine of it more beneficial as your spouse is making an attempt to achieve sexual journey to earnings your human being sex existence. In my journey, a sturdy way of determining the severity of any affair or fling that your spouse may have had is to study her panties draw. that's a nicely undemanding undeniable actuality that particular 'cabana boys' want to carry at the same time them as trophies.... if there are any lacking, in case that's advisable to describe them to me i visit work out if I actually have any in my series that i visit deliver you (if in undemanding words to shrink the soreness). per chance we may nicely be able to fulfill quickly over a lager and do a adult men week-end boat vacation with yet another buddy to help ignore a majority of those sorrows you've.

Answer 10

I don't feel that spouses MUST tell each other everything. I think it's wise of you to not mention something that you think might "set her off". I'm sure my husband keeps some little things like these away from me; it's not a big deal.