Breaking up is the hardest part...?
My mom wants to divorce my dad, she has for years now. She's tried to 3 times, and the last time even got a house but he sucked her back into it.
Things got so bad with my sister and him, he kicked her out and now hes starting on me. He treats my mom like dirt, and freaks on me for the littlest thing. He's so abusive, as a child, it was a little more physical, now its at the point where its both emotional and mental.
Yesterday I was moving my leg and the car was moving and i'm like "sorry, I didn't know I was that strong" and hes like "I'm pretty sure its not because your strong that you make everything in the car shake when you move"
I personally, can't stand him anymore, and I have no idea how to deal with him anymore. My mom wants to break up with him so badly but is struggling (25 yrs of marriage) How can I help give her the strength to leave him? She deserves so much better...
2007-03-12 08:10:32 · 7 answers · asked by toronto_leafs 4 in Health ➔ Women's Health
I know my mom's afraid...they've tried councelling but he only changes for a few weeks then goes back. He treats my mom like a slave, and one time, it got so bad we had tog et the police involved because we left in one car and he was chasing us with his....it was kinda scary...
2007-03-12 08:27:47 · update #1
If you have made the final decision to have your parents break up, ask your mom how she feels, remember its both your and your family's decision. Dont do anything hasty and plan ahead to avoid any future problems. Consult a guidance counselor if you attend school or go to the nearest police precent and ask for help ie)psychologist are good and marriage consultants who have experience with this. In my opinion if you are old enough you can probably move out but usually in such a long relationship, there is little that can change your parents feelings for each other. Having a sitdown in front of a psychologist (perferably male) and point each others problems out and try to come up with a good solution. I doubt your dad will make any sarcastic remarks or dare raise his hand in front of someone else because of his hubris. I have had similar problems but I just kicked my dads *** in a fight and he has been submissive ever since with me and my mom but I highly advise you don't do this there are much better solution.
Good Luck.
2007-03-12 08:19:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only help you can give your mother is to tell her that you worry about her staying with your dad. After 25 yrs of marriage, she must be concerned with how she will make a living, without him around. Does your mother work, now? Is your mother waiting until her children move out, before she gets a divorce? Many people wait until the children have left the home, because they believe it will be easier on the children to stay together until then. Speak to your mother, letting her know that you hope she is not staying with this man for your benefit or your sister's. If your mother is too scared to leave the man, you will have to deal with having him around, and make the least problems that you can. You seem to know what sets him off...........so, give your mother a break, and don't set him off. If he is abusive, physically, to you, you can take him to court. This takes really good evidence, since your mother may not have the ability to back you up. How old are you and your sister? I know that none of this sounds fair, and that's because it is not fair. My own stepfather was very abusive, and my mother would NOT leave him until I was married. I realize that it can make homelife a really hard path to walk. Can you speak to your school counselor about any of this, regarding how it is affecting your own life? You cannot push your mother into leaving. She's afraid. Its a real fear.
2007-03-12 15:21:39 · answer #2 · answered by laurel g 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I'm sorry about your family problems. You need to talk to your dad. Tell him he is pushing away everyone he loves with his sarcastic remarks and how he isn't supposed to treat family members like garbage. Tell your mom she deserves better. It will be VERY difficult for someone to just pick up and leave after that many years together however. You just have to let her know that holding out hope for someone she used to love is only going to drag her down and point out the great benefits of being single to her! Good luck
2007-03-12 15:16:30 · answer #3 · answered by daisyduke070 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TELL HER TO GET OUT OF THAT MENTAL/EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP NOW. She needs to find the strength to leave, and who cares about 25 years of marriage.
If your dad really cared abot 25 years of marrige you think he'd be acting the way he is now. My dad was the same way, he did it to me so much that I started to feel like I was the crazy one. I wasnt! The only way your mom will look like the crazy one is if she doesn't LEAVE!!!!!
2007-03-12 15:18:11 · answer #4 · answered by Still Standing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't fight this battle for your mom. She has to do it herself. You can let her know that you are unhappy and that you would be supportive of her if she decides to try again. Good Luck.
2007-03-12 15:14:29 · answer #5 · answered by NakasEvilTwin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you told her how you feel?
Have you told him how he makes you feel?
There are numbers you can call to talk to someone about it
To get the number go to:
http://www.ndvh.org/
Another website that might help:
http://www.creatingwords.com/articles/general/abusive.htm
2007-03-12 15:21:40 · answer #6 · answered by NoNoDontGo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she needs to get out and build her confidence, counseling
2007-03-12 15:14:05 · answer #7 · answered by CATWOMAN 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋