My Mom and brother say that I am still in shock. I spent $6,000 and six months on the court battle. I really wanted my kids. But now that he has them officially, I am planning vacations, going away for the weekend, signing up for classes. What is up with me? Was anyone here GLAD that your spouse got custody of your kids?
2007-03-12 08:00:22 · 31 answers · asked by tiaburkeangry 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Lying on the beach with a mai tai. GREAT IDEA!
I just hope for the kids that she is kind and patient.
2007-03-12 08:15:09 · update #1
Relief is probably it. I was supermom for the whole 8 years of marriage. He traveled a lot for business and went on "Guys trips" with his friends and was on every committee known to man that had evening meetings. Now it is his turn. Relief. That sounds good to me. And I tried. Great.
2007-03-12 08:22:10 · update #2
You are free. Enjoy it.
2007-03-12 08:03:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
I don't know if anything is wrong with you. All women don't have the maternal instincts in the same way. You did everything expected of you, and really wanted them, but now that it's over...why go on fighting it? It may sound a little "hard" to say you're happy and glad. You do sound like you're celebrating. lol But what else can you do? You might as well take advantage of the single life. Just be sure to visit them once in a while, if you have visitation rights. You don't want them to forget their mom.
2007-03-12 15:10:18 · answer #2 · answered by thankamy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow.. I can't believe that any real "Mother" could ever say she is "so happy" that she lost custody of her own children. Whether or not you're in shock, isn't the issue.. Just the simple fact that you are "happy" and "planning vacations" for yourself, with your newfound life.. well, that says a lot about where your priorities are.
To my best understanding, the courts don't just grant custody to the Father unless the Mother is seen as very unfit, or has given up her rights.. I can't help but wonder why they would give him custody (although it sounds like the best idea.. given as how you seem so "happy" without your kids in your life)... unless you did something to warrant that decision.
I am a Mother, with a precious 4 year old son. Mind you, my husband and I are perfectly happy together, and I don't think for one moment that we would ever be in your situation. But I can promise you this, if we were.. I would fight til the end to keep my son with me. If I ever lost him, it would be absolutely devestating to me. I love him more than words could say, and I would always fight for him. I certainly wouldn't be off galavanting around, talking about how "happy" i was without him in my life.. It takes a very sorry person to have that sort of reaction to losing their children.
In my personal opinion, your kids are far better off without you, being as how you seem to only care about yourself now.
I hope that one day it hits you, hard.. and you'll be able to see just how awful that kind of attitude is. It's one thing to have some "me time" but for you to be acting that way, and being all glad that you no longer have your children.. that's just repulsive. I really do hope you wake up one morning and realize how ridiculous you're being.
You should be so ashamed of yourself..
2007-03-12 16:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by arkiegirl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You wanted custody, but privately were afraid of how difficult it would be to raise them as a single parent and also knew it would be to their best interest to be with their father. This is why it came as a relief to you when your ex husband won custody. Now a days fathers have been getting more and more involved with raising their children and so it is time they did. Just know that society will judge you as being neglectful of your duties as a mother, as your own children may grow to believe this and resent you. It all depends how well you and your ex husband get along regarding raising the children. If not, he may turn them against you. Also, in the future you might have difficulty with another woman raising them if your ex husband were ever to remarry. All of this will have to be thought through to work out and do what is best for the children. Be sure to stay involved in their lives and to always reassure them that you love them. Best of luck to you!
2007-03-12 15:15:47 · answer #4 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My daughter just went through the same thing.I don't believe there is anything wrong with you.Do you believe that your ex-husband will love and support the children and give them the stability they need?Maybe deep down you believed he would be the better parent.And there is nothing wrong with that.Hopefully in the future you and your husband can come to agreement in what you both consider to be good parenting skills.In this world it is hard to be female and raise children alone..not just taking into account financially.There is nothing wrong with being glad that your children will be cared for even if that means it won't be you 24/7.
2007-03-12 15:18:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
There must have been some reason why you lost your kids to your ex in the first place. They don't just hand over the kids entirely to one parent, it seems like you don't want the responsibility, and may have done something for your ex to sue for custody. Just remember your kids aren't living with you anymore, and the woman your ex ends up with will more than likely have more of an impact on their lives than you do, think about that when you are lounging on the beach with a mai tai.
2007-03-12 15:11:55 · answer #6 · answered by Vegas 3 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Your husband must be white. All of my white co-workers going through a divorce ended up with a judge giving the men the power in the custody battle.
I don't know where these people live who say that men can't get custody.
Rather pay a babysitter than their mom chiild support. Sad. Really sad.
2007-03-12 15:29:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Enjoy your "shock" and have fun. You did your duty by trying to win the court battle, but perhaps deep down you feel you are happier on your own. I don't blame you; I'm sure there are quite a few people who feel the way you do, but are too chickensh1t to admit to it. Kids can be a joy, but they are not THE one and only thing your life must revolve around. There's nothing wrong in seeing the positive in ANY situation, and in finding meaning in the things that are within reach.
2007-03-12 15:14:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I honestly think you are in shock. After the "FUN" subsides you are going to wish you had those little ones. I know that I would like a break sometimes (being a single mom and all) but the vacations/classes and all of that stuff in no way equates to the joy of watching your children grow and learn.
2007-03-12 15:06:33 · answer #9 · answered by peapod_mommy 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I lost my first set of kids and won my second set and i felt the same either way . As long as the kids are doing OK you'll be fine .I'm sure you love your kids very much as i did mine but i sure had a good time when i was free. Enjoy yourself i know i would.
2007-03-12 15:19:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not that you don't want them, your happiness is coming as a sense of relief. It's his turn to be "super dad" just as I'm sure you were "super mom". Be happy that now he has to deal with bed times, homework, mornings when no one wants to get up for school and still get to work on time. Hey, think of this, while he has to deal with day-to-day you get to be "fun" mommy on the weekends that goes to the park, takes them to the movies and out to restaurants, etc.
Enjoy it, it's not a bad thing. And if you do it right he just may ask you to take them back full time cuz he probably won't be able to handle it.
2007-03-12 15:17:48 · answer #11 · answered by littlemama_rules 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋