My husband was married before for 6 years and he has 8yr odl daughter with his ex. We being married little over a year and have a 1month old son. Everytime we get into arguments he tells me that I'm becoming just like his ex wife. He talkes bad about her all the time and says he regrets ever marying. She used to cheat on him left and right was mean to him, left him with his daughter right after she was born for 6months and slept with her own cousin. She never went to H.S, she never hold a job and she used to spend his money left and right. I'm getting my B.S in afew months I respect him love him never cheat on him and even knows that although he has trust issue. I take care of our son. I mean our relationship is totaly different than what he had with his EX. But why is he comparing me to Her when i'm no thing like her. Please help it drives me crazy. I asked him and he said he was just mad? but he did it more than once.
2007-03-12 07:52:12 · 20 answers · asked by Izabela 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He knows this will hurt you. It's the worst thing he can think of calling you when he's mad. Maybe he wasn't so perfect in his marriage either? You want to believe that it was his ex who was totally at fault, but maybe he contributed to the problems as well. Let him know that you are not like her at all and you will not tolerate him saying you are. Maybe he should seek counselling. It sounds as though he is still bitter.
2007-03-12 08:12:44 · answer #1 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you ought to insist your husband get a medical examine as much as see why he would not have an activity in intercourse. it must be so straight forward as low testosterone. on the different hand possibly he's not over his ex. something is going on because of the fact no intercourse after in straight forward terms 8 months isn't primary. good success.
2016-10-18 05:05:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a form of verbal abuse and he's doing it strictly to cause you to hurt inside. It is his childish way to try to get you to conform to his opinion in your arguments. Remember that a divorce is caused by both people that were married. No one can say that they were completely blameless for a marriage falling apart. So if your husband says you are just like his ex - instead of standing toe to toe and arguing remind him that he was married to both of you and he can't get along with either one of you - maybe he's the problem???? That will certainly make him mad, but tell him to think about it!
2007-03-12 08:02:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you fight an argument like his ex-wife?I don't think that is you biggest concern here.I hear you saying you love and respect your husband..but the question I think that needs to be answered is does he love and respect you?You stated that he talks bad about his ex-wife and that you are becoming just like her.From an outsider looking in point of view I think it is only a matter of time when you do become his ex-wife.
2007-03-12 08:05:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for this but you need to talk it out and visit the psychologist together. Its good for your marriage and I am glad you are a honest wife but please go to someone who can help him deal with this tension and trust issue and you can also be a support for him in the meanwhile. He must be hurt and grieved but not fair for a man to blame his wife second time around. Just dont take it to heart and try meeting a older person or a doctor to talk things out and he may benefit by it. Speak to his friends and try talking to them as well. This is not much to worry about but you need to nip it in the bud lest it doesnt take its shape in the form of a Habit.
2007-03-12 07:57:39 · answer #5 · answered by MafiaGal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men are different than women. They do not know how to react in certain situations. This is one of them. Your husband only says this because he is angry at you and KNOWS that these comments will hurt you. MY husband will do the same sometimes. Us women.... we usually do not try to deliberately hurt our men in arguments. IT just happens. But men, well they just do not know how to handle it. Trust me, don't sweat it. He just gets angry. He knows you are way better, otherwise he wouldn't be with you. Since he was with her, he comes with this baggage. She has damaged him, and he does not know any other defense. When my husband says things like this, I use to get extremely hurt. But, now I usually will bring up something about their marriage, and spout off something like, well now I know why she acted like she did. I don't like to say this, but sometimes it just happens. My husband and I have come a long way. We have been married for 2 1/2 years. HE was only married to her for one. I couldn't imagine what kind of damage she would have done on him in 6 years. I feel for you. Good luck, and just don't let it bother you. You as well as your husband knows that you are a better wife than she ever was. End of story.
2007-03-12 16:16:04 · answer #6 · answered by Jackie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is comparing you to her when the real problem is HIM. Seriously you have two women trying to discuss the same issue, then its not you or her that has the problem.
A man with trust issues will always have trust issues unless addressed.
He's not trying to make you mad, he's just casting blame on the wrong person.
2007-03-12 07:58:21 · answer #7 · answered by MJ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me that he is still bitter about his ex, no matter how together you are, when you argue he throws dirty punches. That's not fair. When he tells you that you are just like his ex, tell him something similar, except say "you are nothing like my ex, he never had a temper"... Give him a taste of his own medicine. Most people can dish it, but they can't take it!
2007-03-12 08:03:14 · answer #8 · answered by Vegas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a very bitter man. He needs to take a personal inventory and discard all the bad stuff. And for that to happen he'll have to do it. Sounds like you're in for a rough ride. Sorry darlin'. You sound like a great gal.
2007-03-12 08:06:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is desperate for control.
These are the actions of an insecure, petty man.
You need to point out the OBVIOUS differences between you and the ex. Then tell him that he needs to stop punishing YOU for the ex's behavior.
2007-03-12 07:57:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋