v r in luv for 2yrs. all was fine till now. we belong to orthodox families. are families will never give permission for marriage. but we still thought when the right time came we will ask their permission. my bf was the one who used to say lets get married even if our parents doesnt agree. and i was the one who used to say we should respect their feeling also and should seek their permission even if it takes some time.cause we belong to middle class indian families. yesterday all of a sudden he decedided we cant get married for 5-6yrs cause he has 2 younger sis too. & if he marries me they will suffer cause they will not get grooms. this is because we belong to different castes. he says if i luv him i will wait. cause he thinks i can. yes my parents are supporative when i say i need time.but 5-6yrs!!!
i am 27yrs old. waiting for 5-6yrs means telling our parents at 32. i am the only child of my parents. they respect my decisions. but they too have their own dreams regarding my marriage
2007-03-12 07:48:15 · 28 answers · asked by Neelu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm so sorry this happened. I think I would have to evaluate my love for this guy. Do you love him enough to wait? 32 isn't as old as you think, my dear. If you, honestly, don't think you can wait that long you should tell him so and move on. I know that's not easy to do since you've invested 2 years into this relationship so I won't give you any concrete answer. Ultimately, you have to decide for yourself what's best for you and your family.
In a nutshell...search your heart and then do what it says:)
I hope I've helped:)
2007-03-12 07:57:49 · answer #1 · answered by cherokeemaydyn 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear not to worry so much I know this guy might have changed his plan or forced him to do by his family side. Tell him last to take some decission once. After all 5 to 6 yrs is such a long period and you are in 27yrs. This is not good for you.Your parents is much worried than you. Once the age runs then what is the surity of that guy after 5yrs. If he hangs you for 2 yrs. He should realize before involving into the affair. Now you have to make up your mind clearly give him instruction. This seems that you love more than that guy after all you have your own dream. You will feel little bad but you have to take right step in time.
2007-03-12 08:04:08 · answer #2 · answered by samm 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The decision of BF is right bcoz as per the indian culture his sisters will be affected. Since you are the only child, it's u who have to take the decision.
When i finished my graducation my father told me u get married. That time i assured my father that whomever he shows i will get married with him and not now but later. I told i am interested in my studies. I am also the only child.
But unfortunately my father expired. Due to the family situation i postponded my marriage. i got married now. Then too if my father would have been there means i would have got a very good partner that what i have now. Pls try to understand that tommorrow is not in our hands. If ur bf is a very good person he should have thought abt the future of his sister before he loves u.
My advice inform ur parents regarding this ask them what do they say. If they like ur bf then u wait for him for 10 years also. i am not worried. if ur parents tells no, u pls change ur mind give repect to ur parents since u r the only they will have their own dreams.
I am not against ur love. But at the same time u have take care of ur future at the right time. it is the correct time. pls take decision with the help of ur parents then anyone else in this world, bcoz they are the true well wishers of u.
U should also calculate ur age. its already 27. if u r going to get married u will have a kid at 28. When u come to 55 ur child will be of 27 yrs during the marriage. In 55 u can help ur child. If u r going to delay for 5 more yrs then at 60 u will arrange the marriage for ur kid. At that age u can put ur efforts.
Think 100 times - take good decision, bcoz every minute after the marriage should be good to all.
2007-03-12 23:54:06 · answer #3 · answered by Raki 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Getting married against your parents wishes will be a constant ongoing problem and will strain your marriage. If you want a family, waiting 5 - 6 more years is probably not the best situation
2007-03-12 08:07:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is such a complicated situation. well, I suggest you need to discuss with your boyfriend, and if neccessary, now both of you need to convince your parents. You said your parents will probably respect your decision, is it possible to get approval from your parents first? then you try to work out with other side.maybe you will solve half of the problem first.
Marriage is your own, tell your parents marriage is your dream, not their dream. They can't control the situation to give you this dream. It is really your life and only you know what is happiness. Tell them in a proper and firm way. Discuss with them.
2007-03-12 14:45:22 · answer #5 · answered by Caring Girl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey sweety!!!
I believe this man just realized yesterday tht he's got family or may b his sisters just sprung down to earth yesterday. Its really ridiculous. Its straight-cut n clear tht he's tryin to avoid you neatly. Dont get into any emotional turmoils and just think, if he's really thinking abt his sisters......then he ought to think abt u first coz ur also a girl and the only child of your parents. i guess 5 or 6 yrs is not worth waiting for a guy like this who comes up with weird thoughts suddenly and who cannot support you in times like this. No Offences....but i seriously think u should carry on with ur life and make ur parents happy.
2007-03-12 14:19:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do what you feel is right, if you love the guy then whats the big deal if your married now or in a few years from now? But if you think hes just getting cold feet then you give him a timeline and if he cant meet it then find a new guy, trust me theres tons of us out there.
2007-03-12 07:54:27 · answer #7 · answered by chemlight9000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same thing Was With Me But C My Girl She Changed The Way Of Living & Now She Is Enjoying Her Life Without Me, I Know Its Difficult But Atlist Try To Do It.
2007-03-12 08:02:04 · answer #8 · answered by blueblood 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm trying to see things from your culture's point of view. Forgive me if I fail to understand all the nuances of Indian culture and the caste system.
I think he is being unreasonable. You are old enough to be married, and to wait for so long is not how it is suppose to be at your age. Love is important and I know how hard it is to not be allowed to be with the one you love. BUT, lets think logically here. You will have to be alone, for the better part of a decade because his sister's have to get married first. No, that is not fair, and it is not right.
Your dreams, wants, and needs are just as valid as his sister's. Also the dreams of your parents are valid. Everybody wants you to be happy, except as it seems...your BF.
2007-03-12 08:09:55 · answer #9 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First of all there are too many conditions to you loving each other. Are you sure this true love or do you want to be marry for the sake of it. I'm african american/filopino and my fiancee (that I consider already my husband) is east indian and we love each other unconditionally. We are going to be married in June, there's is nothing anything the world that will keep us from loving each other. He is my gift from God and I'm his gift from God; we cherish each other feelings and will not take each other for granted. Inspite, of what others may think or feel, we want to share the rest of ourlives together and that's what we're going to do God Willing.
I hope you both realize that life is too short to have all these issues and conditions to loving each other. Good Luck!
2007-03-12 15:33:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋