My boyfriend of 14 years left because I have gained between 20 and 25 pounds. I have had 3 children. I am not fat. But he is very vain. I used to be very skinny. I am 42 years old. Put it this way, he thought all woman should look like Barbie. He told me he was not into me any more, so he left his children and myself.It's now 3 months later and he already is seeing someone else. And he acts like I should just be over it, and that it is no big deal. Would you leave if your spouse gained weight?
2007-03-12 07:47:00 · 38 answers · asked by Teslajuliet 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No way, if he cant walk out on you after 14 years and 3 children then he is no man he is a loser and you are better off without him. I know its hard but face it you are better off. My wife and I have been together almost 9 years and we have 3 children and she put on weight and she hasn't lost it and my theory is she put on that weight giving birth to our three kids, risked her life this last time. I put on 50 pounds since we have been married and she has stood me though when we got married i was a twig LOL now I'm 180 but still I am very uncomfortable about my weight. She has put on about the same and I am still as much in love with her today as when I met her if not more because she has made all of my dreams come true.
2007-03-12 08:52:04 · answer #1 · answered by Pete 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that sweetie..but you know what? You should get over it because he showed you what an @$$ he really is and you are better off finding someone that will love you for you. You sound like a strong, beautiful woman..you don't need to put up with that crap. I would never leave my spouse just because he gained weight, but if I noticed he started getting heavy, I'd start cooking him less fatty foods, or encourage him to lose a little weight in a constructive manner. He thinks all women should look like barbie....well does he look like Ken???
2007-03-12 07:54:19 · answer #2 · answered by M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What an a**! I totally understand what you are saying. I have never been skinny skinny but always in shape (im an athlete) when i got pregnant with my son my husband (who is now my EX) left me for another woman and said it was because I got fat......well I found out she's bigger than I AM!!! LOL. So I THINK either he is SUPER shallow or he was looking for an excuse to get out of the relationship and is using that to hurt you!! But you are most def better off without a jerk like that~!~ There is love after heartache. I have been lucky to find a man who loves me for me not my weight nor my looks. Those men are out there you just have to be picky is all!!! Good luck girl. Email me if you wanna chat! ;)
2007-03-12 07:56:17 · answer #3 · answered by peapod_mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course not! My husband and I have both gained weight over the years, and if anything I want us both to lose weight for health reasons. He is still the man I married and every bit of the man I fell in love with! If that is the only reason he left, you need to kick him to the curb and find a man who will love you for YOU and marry you long before 14 years! You and your children deserve so much better! Do you want your children growing up with him a as a role model for a healthy relationship?
2007-03-12 07:51:55 · answer #4 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What a jerk! No, I wouldn't leave my guy for something as trivial as that. My ex-husband was always making fun of my weight (after three children). I lost it all (35 pounds) and then had a makeover, including new breasts and a tummy tuck. I'm now 41 and look like a million. Yes, he wants me back now, but forget it. I've moved on to a man who appreciates my whole person, not just my figure, hair or whatever.
2007-03-12 08:31:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! and actually my husband has put on about 20 extra lbs. He takes some medicine that causes weight gain. but it is the person inside of the body I married not his body size. I love my husband just as much as I did when I married him. And if your bf is that vain then you don't need him and your kids surely don't need that kind of role model. I know it is hard for you now but hopefully you will move on and find someone who loves you for you and not "barbie"
2007-03-12 09:34:43 · answer #6 · answered by ~Jennifer~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That guy's level of superficial-ness is beyond belief! He needs to have a life-altering event to wake up his eyes so that he can be more humane and compassionate toward others!
My ex gained about 50 lbs, but I didn't leave him because of that. We just drifted apart. He's still not dating as far as I know. I dated a studd-muffin who had the body of a god, but his character was lacking, so I moved on. Then I met and married Patrick, 10 yrs my junior, paraplegic from a stroke, wheelchair dependent. Patrick is taller than I when he struggles to stand (right side is damaged), and he has the cutest belly on him - but it's due to the fact that he can NOT exercise, and that is the "package" he came in.
I love him the way he is! Pot belly and all! Your ex is beyond words - I hope that his new flings will leave him when something about him lacks in desirable dementions!
031207 1:55
2007-03-12 07:56:15 · answer #7 · answered by YRofTexas 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No I wouldn't and any man that does that isn't a man to begin with. He didn't love you for anything other than your looks. A man that loves you does so for what you are inside not outside. It's good you found out now(while you are healthy) instead of doing it if you had failing health. It shows how much you could depend on him. He evidently thought you were as vain or shallow as he is by thinking you should just get over it. Count your blessings that this horse's *** has moved on. He isn't worth your time or trouble to worry about. Find someone who is honest, caring, and compassionate and loves you for who you are.
2007-03-12 07:54:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no! my husband needs to benefit weight!!! hes 5'10 135lbs (very skinny) if he gained 20 lbs i might love him nonetheless. i like my husband no rely what. i've got gained incredibly much 30 lbs when you consider that we first met and that i've got asked him previously if my weight bothered him he stated he doesnt concepts. 20 lbs over sixteen years is nice- the traditional guy or woman useful factors 2 lbs a twelve months so thats like decrease than conventional! Love is blind and doesnt have a weight cut back!
2016-10-02 00:16:06 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt that he left you because of 25 pounds, there is probably something else. He may have been already seeing someone else.
I would not leave my spouse for that amount of weight gain only.
2007-03-12 07:54:21 · answer #10 · answered by Al Bunn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋