HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE ACTUALLY bi/gay?

Question

My friend and had a really thought-provoking conversation the other day. We're both straight, but then we were thinking what exactly is "straight?"

We were thinking that maybe being straight is suppressing any romantic feelings you have for anyone of the same gender in order to adhere to societal norms....and then we were thinking what makes a man be romantically attracted to another man? I mean, I have male friends, and I like them for the same reasons gay men like their boyfriends..their nice, funny, friendly...stuff like that...but what makes straight men not want a sexual relationship with their male friends?? Is it society???

And does this mean everyone is actually bisexual???

Answer 1

Sexual orientation isn't about romantic feelings or emotional attraction- it's about sex. A lot of people tend to mix the two up, but when we're talking about gay, straight, or bisexual, it doesn't entail if you want to have a relationship, be sweet with one another, whatever- it just entails who you want to sleep with. Remember- gay men like their boyfriends because they're funny, nice, friendly, but also because their men, whose bodies turn them on.

Many men have very close friendships- some even closer than with their own wives/girlfriends- but what makes them straight is that they don't wan to sleep with their male friends. I don't think it means they're suppressing sexual feelings; they just don't have the desire for a male body or gay sex.

So no, not everyone is bisexual. I firmly believe that there are people out there who are 100% gay or straight. Most of us, though, fall on some scale, it's true that sexuality is far more gray than it is black and white, and yes, societal pressure certainly keeps us from going into that gray zone if we are even the smallest bit inclined.

Hope that helps.

Answer 2

Honestly if you have to ask this question than i don't think you have to worry about it. Most people are born with these attractions, and they know from a very early age. I have a lot of gay friends, and it is not something that just seems to "turn on" all of a sudden. Gay man most of the time will find men Physically Attractive which also seems to be a big difference. As to the cause of homosexuality, some people will say genetics, other will say the devil, so it will depends on your point of view.

Answer 3

Please don't confuse attraction and behavior.

A person who is gay/lesbian is sexually attracted to someone of their same gender. "Bi" people are attracted sexually to people of both genders.
You can like someone without being sexually attracted to them. What's the difference? Certain biological things happen with sexual attraction . . . which I will not go into, but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

Sexual behavior is not the same thing as orientation. People can have an LGBT orientation (or a straight orientation) and never act on it - it doesn't change how they were born. Similary, just because men in prison have sex with other men, it doesn't make them gay, unless they were gay to start with.

Answer 4

Wow! I mean this seriously, you've made my day with an articulate and genuinely interesting question, now how will answer it.....

I will say this, men or women, each have as you say, the love of friendship and kinship. Each of expresses it in terms we feel are natural to our own person, that is to say as we feel most comfortable with.

Now, for a gay man, the attraction to another man is deeply felt and is innate, we truly feel the physical desire not just the emotional, just as most straight men do with women.

As for your query as to whether we may all be bi-sexual, you have touched on something that many including Kinsey, have spoken of before. That humans are not polar opposites but that most are on the scale, leaning one way or the other. Some people would identify themselves as completely Straight and on the other end, completely gay (I see myself as completely gay), but most are believed to sit in the middle ground. As such, their sexuality could indeed be dictated completely by societal 'norms'. Many gay men have hidden themselves within loveless marriages over the centuries only to be miserable. With society slowly coming to terms with the truth about human sexuality, we begin to see the real sexual dynamic.

Sorry for the verbose answer but this question deserved it.

Answer 5

SEX is what ultimately makes the difference. Are you sexually attracted? I mean trully sexually attracted. I like guys that are funny, and nice, and friendly too, I have a great many straight male friends. However, I am in no way, shape or form sexually attracted to them. See what I mean? Its not that I find them ugly or taboo, I can appreciate a beautiful man, but the thought of sleeping with them never enters my mind. So, obviously sexual attraction ultimately defines sexuality.

Answer 6

For me, it's because I desire to be with a man sexually. There are some people who, for whatever reason, suppress their homosexual desires and opt for a straight relationship which, in my opinion, is doomed to fail.

Answer 7

I think everyone has a little gay in them, but I think a good way to know if you are gay or not is by what you think about when you masturbate. I am not trying to be gross. It makes a lot of sense if you think about it.

Answer 8

that's a grimy way of doing it... yet nevertheless a thank you to do it... pass on there computor while they arn't looking. (Like interior the bathing room or taking a tub.) pass to initiate -> seek -> seek for "Cookies" in "All archives or Folder" -> click on the folder categorized "Cookies" that's a record of all of the web pages they have been on. seek by way of them and notice in the event that they have been going to quite some gay web pages.... grimy regardless of the undeniable fact that it somewhat works...

Answer 9

When you choose to live that lifestyle. We make a choice to live certain lifestyles, no one is born gay, bisexual or anything like that. People make decisions to live that way. The reason for this is that homosexuality goes against nature, it is not natural to be in sexual relations with someone of the same sex. This is why the majority of the human population live a heterosexual lifestyle, but then there are those who choose to go against nature and moral norms and agaisnt the word of God because of things that has occurred in their lives.

Answer 10

If u look at a girl n u really like what u see ur staight if u look at a guy n really like what u see will ur gay