married 6 years. We have a 5 year old and a 4 month old. After leaving the air force because of a back injury my husband shut his self off from everyone. I know he is very depresed. But Im not sure where that leaves me?
The past few years we are roommates that dont talk. Last year I was going off because something has to give, I cant kep doing this. He told me He loves me but he isnt in love with me. Lol i was very calm about this. Then later I told him I was going to get a boyfriend and he said he didnt care, because he doesnt care about anything.
So I was kinda mad about that and wanted to see if he was just sayin it so i messed around with one of his friends with him in the car. He really didnt care that i was doing it.
All I know is He doesnt want to move out he wants to stay together. But then again he doesnt care what i do???
One of his close friends told me he doesnt care what i want to do because he wants me to be happy and he knows im not happy the way we are?
2007-03-12 07:33:02 · 12 answers · asked by Tammy H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This has been going on for years and at that point I was leaving him. I just wanted to know if he really cared or not.
LOl and for the lose some weight post. Dude Im very hot and we have no problem as far as sex goes.
2007-03-12 07:56:07 · update #1
I understandstand Depression or I wouldnt still be here. But This has been oing on for 4 years. I dont want to sit around waiting if things are never going to change. Its driving me crazy
2007-03-12 08:00:49 · update #2
Get your hubby to go to counseling ASAP. It may be hard and expensive, but it just isn't normal for him to behave that way.
Messing around with his friend wasn't such a hot idea either. How would you like it if you were sick (physical or mental) and your husband tried to test you by having an affair with one of your friends?
2007-03-12 07:40:59 · answer #1 · answered by J D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Then it's time it sounds like for you to make the decision for the both of you since he can't seriously take the hint to "**** or get off the pot". He's going through serious depression if he doesn't care about what anyone does and he's staying the way he is not making any efforts. If he doesn't care that you get a boyfriend, so be it; call his bluff and do what makes you happy =) and if he really doesn't care, it's truly time to move on. What's the sense in being with someone who isn't in love with you and you think of them as a roommate?
2007-03-12 07:46:51 · answer #2 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Look, everybody has this cookie-cutter idea of what a marriage needs to be. Yes, encourage him to get outside help, but there's only so much you can do to take care of him.
You also have to think of what your own needs are. If you NEED to be in a supportive relationship and think you can find that without leaving your husband (meaning have someone to be with while still living with your husband), then so be it. If you don't NEED that, and don't mind staying with him, then do that and continue to take care of your life.
Be flexible, but keep your priorities straight and be realistic about the things you have control over. Pro-family doesn't just mean mom married to dad with kids. Pro-family means making sure that everyone's needs are taken care of to the best of your abilities.
2007-03-12 07:49:30 · answer #3 · answered by once upon a time 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had depression so bad I had to be hospitalized at one point. Consequently, I can feel where your husband is coming from. He needs treatment for depression. If he broke his leg would you take him to a doctor? Well, depression this severe is worse than a broken leg (I have had one of those too). GET HIM TO A DOCTOR! Just because YOU can't understand depression doesn't mean it's not a real illness. It is, and it is usually treatable.
2007-03-12 07:52:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is depressed my husband got that way a few times saying he loved me didn't care what i did because he could see i wasn't happy and as long as i wanted i could do what i wanted and he wouldn't say anything the thing was I was happy then and still am happy it was because of his insecurities
2007-03-12 07:39:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well aren't you a SAD excuse for a wife and mother....
For better or worse obviously didn't apply to you.
He is depressed because he is not physically the man he used to be. It is VERY difficult to sustain a life altering injury and figure out who you are now, and where to go from there.
He was testing you and you FAILED.
Do him a favor and get a divorce.
2007-03-12 07:40:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It really sounds like your husband needs to talk to someone. Is there a pastor, or counselor he can talk to? Tell him what's going to make you happy is him getting some help and working through his depression. Let him know that there's more to like than being in the Airforce - like his children and marriage and you can make things work. Pray for your husband - there's power in prayer.
2007-03-12 07:39:48 · answer #7 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You both need therapy.
Do not ever mess around with any of his friends again. He does care about what you do. Him saying he doesn't care is the depression talking.
2007-03-12 07:47:22 · answer #8 · answered by Daiquiri Dream 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him, there are programs that you can get help with to start a new life.It'snot helping either of you staying together. Think about your kids also .When you leave him then hew will care since the reality of being alone will sink in.Be strong leave him you deserve better.
2007-03-12 07:42:48 · answer #9 · answered by tt_hot_gyal 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Lose some weight.
2007-03-12 07:42:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋