I still love him. To leave him would mean to break my own heart. He cheated on me once before we got married with a girl I barely knew, but had her in my phone book. I was pregnant and he knew. 3 days later he came home. Second time, we were married. I was still pregnant. He left me standing in front of the post office crying and begging him not to go. Days later I found him in the next town over. He had sex w/ a 39 yr. old He was also messing around with a girl that I was best friends w/ from Elementary to high school. I told him I wanted a divorce and he stabbed his self in the wrist. 6 months ago. He hasn't left since, but I still don't trust him. I go to my grandma's every other weekend... and that is the only days he goes running around town. When I go home I only know what he tells me he did. I don't know anything for sure. I am about 3 months preg. again. Should I stay or leave. If I should leave how do I break my own heart? It will be the worst pain yet! We're both only 21.
2007-03-12 07:21:14 · 66 answers · asked by Autumn Travelstead 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
leave,,the guy sounds like a nut case
2007-03-12 07:23:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Listen, it sounds like an awful situation, but i really think you should have thought about this before you got pregnant the 2nd time. I realize you are young, so i feel bad for you. I aslo would like to tell you that i have a friend who told me her first marriage was almost the same thing as you. She said that they were married for 13 years and he cheated the whole time, even while she was prgnant. He made good money but blew it all on the track, women, and trips. so they didn't have money. She would find receipts for the hotels in his pocket all the time. She told me to tell you to get out of the relationship. She stayed married to him and they had been married since she was 19 years old. She says it's good that you're young. I say to just remember that you are young and that you do have a life time ahead of you, so i guess we're lucky, i'm 29, and my friend is like 50. Also i hope that you know that we make our own destiny's as we go along. we all have a journey to go through, but we pick and choose them on our own, so pick and choose wisely and remember that this is your life, and you live it how you want to, don't let him or anyone determine where you end up and how. I usually think to myself that if things didn't work out, it's not because you didn't or he didn't love you, but sometimes you can love each other and not be able to live with each other. Not only that , but can he love you the way you deserve to be loved? or the way you feel you deserve to be loved? People love in different ways, so what helped me is the saying" for as he thinketh in his heart so is he." which means he can only give to you the way his heart knows how, but if it's not good enough for you, you should recognize that it is ok. you can love each other but it might be difficult to be together.
2007-03-12 07:54:52 · answer #2 · answered by Lovely 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know the pain of your husband cheating on you when you are pregnant and with someone close to you, mine did it when I was about 3 months with my sister-in-law, that was a couple of years ago. I gave him 1 chance to show me that he truly loved me and that he was sorry for what he did, which I believe everyone needs a second chance, and he never did it again. But to have someone do it to you repeatedly is not right and very hurtful. Because obviously the first time he did it, he was not truly sorry for doing it cuz he repeated it. I look at it as he is going to break your heart anyways by going out and being with women, you need to respect yourself and show him that if you leave him he will be the one losing out in the deal not you. Every woman deserves to have a man that Loves them and cares about thier feelings and well being. You are still young and have your life ahead of you and that of your children. Just think if it was your daughter what advice would you give her? I hope this was helpful or maybe just encouraging, Good Luck!
2007-03-12 07:33:27 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, Please don't live your life like this, Leave him......you have yourself and your child to think of. The strain must be terrible for you not knowing where he is every time you go out. I had all this with my husband i could never catch him even though i knew he was having an affair. The strain was terrible for me i got my husband on a bluff, and he left 4 years ago and i hav not seen him since. It's the best thing.......i loved my husband but after a while of being cheated on and for my own dignity i am so glad he left. I have a great life. Just leave him before time carries on and you feel you cant leave because of your baby.....Don't let him emotionally blackmail you into staying Good Luck
2007-03-12 07:34:19 · answer #4 · answered by kevina p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok so he cheated more than once? He did the stabbing thing for attention and to try to get you not to leave. You are pregnant so you have to do whats best for you and your baby. Do you want your child around someone that is gonna try to stab himself? I don't believe a REAL man would cheat on his wife and act so foolish. If he has cheated already 2 times or more then I don't think he is just gonna stop he will continue. You are young and maybe you should move home and I am sure your parents will help you and your baby.
2007-03-12 07:32:24 · answer #5 · answered by - 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop an think on what is best for your family. My sister went through this, too. She was pregnant, andher boyfriend was cheating on her. She left him. It broke her heart, but sometimes, you just need to do what's best, even if it's hard. My boyfriend right now is like that, too. I dont feel right around him, but I know if I dump him he will probably kill himslef, so I am stuck, but your not. Do what's best. A man who cheats on you is not worth your time. You should call a friend or a relative who you trust, pack your things when he is not there and leave before you get hurt. If he tries to hurt himself, tell the police or a doctor, and he can get some help. Just do what it right! It will be okay. :) Good luck!
2007-03-12 07:26:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I think that you should definitely leave him. I know this will break your own heart because I've personally thought about it before. "I love him and it's not like if I get another chance at true love. What if I just leave him a while to make him think it's forever, but come back later because he won't do it again and I couldn't do that to me because I don't deserve it." That was you and me thinking.
But I decide that he will keep doing it. He will. You don't deserve it, but you also don't deserve an unsure life with him. Love can happen again, and with someone else, even if it seems impossible because it was supposed to be a one and only.
Leave to go with your granma' or elsewhere. Find a job to take care of your kids. Don't stay with him because he's your children's dad or because you think you need his help to support them.
2007-03-12 07:32:37 · answer #7 · answered by Duck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well right now i will think that you're being selfish cause now it's not just you, you have your child to think about now. Yeah he has cheated on you not once but twice, but you said so yourself, you love him and when you love someone, you forgive them and forgetting what happen. Im sorry you have to go through that, but still at the same time you have to know that there is a line that can not be drawn or come cross to. Talk to him again, and really sit down and talk to him and tell him how you feel. Give him the option if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you and you're baby or just still out there and being single. So that the ball is out of your court and giving you the pressure or the stress. Stress isn't good for you right now considering that you are pregnant. If he choses to leave you, HE JUST LOST THE BEST THING OF HIS LIFE!!!... if he choses to stay... HE LOVES YOU!!.. but if he does chose to leave, at least you know that you tried and that you didn't leave him wondering all the what if's or without any regrets!. Hope it helps and hoping everything works out!! good luck!
2007-03-12 07:30:27 · answer #8 · answered by cutelidogurl143 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The smile part doesn't really matter in this question. The problem is that husband has some serious issues. He needs counseling. NOW! If he is a repeat adulter at 21, then he will not stop unless a major change in his personality is brought about before his mid twenties. Something obviously happened to him in his formative years that has given him a distorted view of a healthy sexual relationship. I would tell you that if he is willing to try counseling with you , then there is a chance, but if he continues down this destructive path, then you owe it to yourself and your baby to get away from him, especially if he is willing to injury himself or you to make his point. This is a sign he doesn't have control of his emotions. You need to seek help for him and you and make sure you are protecting yourself and your baby, physically and emotionally. I pray things get better.
2007-03-12 07:30:15 · answer #9 · answered by scp98k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would cut your losses and kick him out, either he will come to his senses and beg you to take him back, or he will go off and act like an idiot as much as he wants, but if so, at least it won't be hurting you directly. However, only you know how much you love him, and how much you want this relationship to work. You have to weigh up what's more important to you, if he stays you will never trust him, and do you really want to bring a child up in that sort of atmosphere? My heart bleeds for you, and I really wish you all the best. Remember who is most important in all this though, your child, don't let him upset you too much, it's not good for the baby.
2007-03-12 07:27:54 · answer #10 · answered by lululaluau 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to leave him, so that he sees you respect yourself, and will not allow him to hurt you like that. I married my high school sweetheart, we were kids when we met, and all was great until he started cheating. I loved him so much. I gave him a chance once when I was pregnant with my second child. I was 23, and I told him every one makes a mistake once. He promised not to cheat again, he did 3 years later, and it hurt me to break-up, but years later it proved to be the best thing for me, to leave a hurtful situation. Hugs to you, it is not easy prayer and courage, and remember there are good men out there that will be good to you and love you truly.
2007-03-12 07:29:22 · answer #11 · answered by Maria A. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋