I have been falsley accused at work of being a bully?

Question

I have a friendship with a male at work (I am male) we often have a joke and a laugh regards light hearted subjects etc. On one occassion I pretended to throw a puch at him, but not in an aggresive manor and on another occassion I'd sent him an email stating he'd get a gold star for work he'd completed. But now he's accused me of bullying him and I've had to have a meeting to discuss. I am extreemly upset regarding this as I thought we were friends and it was just male banter. I have never bullyed anyone in my life and I am now very concerned. this is a total nightmare. Please help?

Answer 1

SOUNDS LIKE HE IS ANGLING FOR A COMPENSATION PAYOFF...DID ANYONE SEE YOU THROW THE PRETEND PUNCH..????...HE SOUNDS LIKE A WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING...BEWARE

Answer 2

Sounds like your getting bullied into being a bully. well bully for you. Just kidding, sounds like this wimp is got it out for you. What kind of lame place do work were people can accuse each othe rof being bullies much less call you on the carpet for it? What's this world coming to when guys can't be guys? Before they're done you'll be carrying a purse.

Answer 3

Being Bullied is Perceptual; you see it as fun while the guy your jacking around does not. You may view it as entirely "a game" yet, you also see your "friend" as going along with it, yet, it appears he has not.

I see two things going on, : it was really a game between you two, and for some reason he went 360 and complained (you went to far)?

Or two, it was never fun for him and he went along with it as he did not want to puch the issue; now it has gone too far, he complained.

Your in no possition to be hacked at anyone, you admitted to throwing fake punches and things like that; you need to back step and apologize as your actions are inproper in the workplace; remember, you threw tha fake punches, not him, somehow, you felt comfortable doing this; my guess is he is smaller than you and non-aggressive; unless of course you throw fake punches at Big Guys with Tattoos?

Am I right?

Answer 4

I would simply say something along the lines of:

"As far as I was concerned, ******* and I had a relaxed working relationship. I was unaware that anything I may have done could be interpreted by him as bullying. I apologise completely, and will no longer engage him in anything other than work-related conversations"

That way, you look professional, you could also add something about how you wished he had come to you and said something before. Was anyone else around when this so-called bullying was going on? It may be useful to have an outsiders opinion. Good luck.

Answer 5

See a lawyer.

Either the claim has a real basis or it doesn't.

If it doesn't, then you're never going to know exactly what you're fighting against, let alone prevail. Think. If you're not a bully, then what is this really about? "I can't imagine" is NOT a useful answer.

If it does, you obviously don't see it, and being in denial about it is not going to help you at all.

You need all the facts, and you don't even know what you're looking for, let alone how to force them to reveal them. A lawyer does and can.

Go this alone at great peril.

Answer 6

Falsely accused of being a bully? hah hah hah!

Are you in a higher ranking position?

Are you a bigger guy?

Are you a loud talker?

Are you two of different race/religion/ethnicity?

any of these could be perceived as intimidating. Re-evaluate and see whether your actions could have been perceived as bullying even though that was not your intent. If any of your behaviors could possibly be read as coersion, or intimidation you need to step back, apologize, keep your hands/humor to yourself and agree to go to counseling/sensitivity training. Ask others around you if your style of communication seems aggressive to them and don't get upset if you don't like what you hear.

Hopefully you'll keep your job.

Answer 7

He obviously didn't think you were kidding. Or he's a big drama king. Either way, he should've come to you about it first and he didn't. If you were truley joking and don't think you were being a bully at all then just don't talk to him anymore. He may just be looking for attention. You do need to reexamine your behavior and make sure you aren't accidentally being a bully.

Answer 8

HAHAHA, loved the first answer!

It's a bit strange, but I'd try and talk to him and see what the matter is...but then again, he might go running off to tell someone. It's clear that maybe he hasn't formed "normal" friendships before, and is probably unable to do so...steer clear, stand your ground and nothing will happen with regards to your job.

Answer 9

I've seen situtations like this on frequent occasions. It's not uncommon for some men to show off by such behavior as you describe yourself engaging in. Invariably such men are overly agressive, and use the excuse of "I was just kidding" to try an avoid being held accountable for their abusive and bulllying behavior.

As a supervisor, I did not tolerate that kind of behavior--I simply fired the offenders. Count yourself luck if that doesn't happen to you--and start treating your co-workers like human beings instead of punching bags.

Answer 10

If he is a normal rational person then you should be able to explain, and he should understand that you are just being wacky.

Remember though, people take things personally sometimes, and though your intentions might have been playful, you might need to exercise a little self-control.

I tend to do the same things you described, but I always try to keep it to a minimum out of respect.

Answer 11

He sounds like a whiner to me. I would just make it a point to avoid him. Otherwise you could be facing some sort of lawsuit for hazing or assault. You need to ask yourself... "Do I really need this guy as a friend?". He may just be a little on the wimpy side, but I wouldn't chance being hauled into court. Just avoid him.