I recently broke up with my boyfriend about 3 months ago. We dated for about 1 1/2 years. We lived togther and everything. He never asked me to marry him. I think he was going to but i broke up with him because we fought to much and he brought the devils out of me and i didn't like myself. Me and another X started talking he got me going to church. I was real happy. Well I didn't have place to live so i started staying with him and his mom. We have always been best freinds talk about anything. Now he is talking about marriage. I just broke up out of a 1 1/2 year relationship. He is about to go in the army. So i really don't want to lose him. I DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO???? I am so confused. I don't know if i love him. Or my X ol man... I messed up. What would you do. Should i get married to my best freind.
2007-03-12 07:11:57 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, that's kind of a no-brainer.
Best friends are the BEST people to marry! It gives you a strong foundation for a future together. Looks and sex will go with age and/or illness. But your personalities will always be there, and that effects how well you communicate and get along. If you're best friends before you get married, the foundation for the down times is so much stronger than the whirlwind romance relationship.
A marriage does not have to have love to be a wonderful, fulfilling marriage. There have been many cases in history where two people married one another virtual strangers, but because they had respect for one another and cared for each other as human beings, they grew to be friends, and later loved each other. Love doesn't have to be there first.
So, yes, I say you should marry him. But I would put more time between the wedding and the break-up, perhaps dating for a year or so, then moving onto engagement.
2007-03-12 07:19:41 · answer #1 · answered by Raising6Ducklings! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry out of desperation. Take your time, and see where you end up. 3 months is not nearly enough to 1) Sort out your feelings after one relationship has failed, and 2) Fully engage in a new relationship to the point of talking marriage. Not that you can't get married to your best friend... But you must do it because you really want to, not because some external circumstances push you into it. Let him go into the army, while you get back on your feet and take time to be on your own for a while. It's not good to be making a life-changing decision in a confused state of mind. Wait!
2007-03-12 07:22:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From personal experience do not get married to your best friend that is joining the army. Dont even start dating him. I know its hard and if you care about him its going to be even harder when he leaves, especially if you two are a "couple." Long distance relationships are so hard and when he joins the army he can be gone for as long as a year at a time. Its up to you but it is so hard to be away from someone you care about for that long. Just take your time, dont settle. Make sure that you're with the right person. Life is long and its even longer if you're with the wrong person.
2007-03-12 07:20:40 · answer #3 · answered by lovintheblacknsilver 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO! Don't get married! If you aren't sure, then you should not do it! You have to wait until you are over your ex, and see what feelings develop for the new guy. If you do not fall in love with him, the marriage will never work out, and you could lose a good friend.
2007-03-12 07:16:43 · answer #4 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It all depends if he has to go overseas for a long period of time. If you can't go with him, I'd say don't marry him. I married my best friend and we have a great marriage of 20+ years so, but I never went into the military.
2007-03-12 08:30:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey! never get married when you feel that confussed. If you were to get married right now with all your doubts you will never have peace in your life. It sounds like you need to get away from them both and clear your head. Like go on a trip somewhere for like a week and just think. Dont go with anyone go by yourself and just think.
2007-03-12 07:20:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to get married, than the person you marry has to be your best friend first.
If you feel that you are not ready, than take it slow. Be honest with him and talk to him.
He will understand, do what your heart wants.
Success in marriage is more than finding the right person, its becoming the right person.
2007-03-12 07:34:06 · answer #7 · answered by Happily Married 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You admit that you are confused. NO - you should not get married! That is not something you just jump in to! If he loves you, he won't push you into it....he'll understand that you are on the rebound and it's not a good idea to push you towards marriage now!
2007-03-12 09:58:44 · answer #8 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not certain with all of your heart, then do not marry him. He will come back and time may have helped you sort out your feelings by then.
2007-03-12 07:24:29 · answer #9 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO- no one should get married unless they are 100% certain they are making the right choice. That's why the divorce rate is so high today.
2007-03-12 07:17:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋