Our computer was acting up and so I wnt through it to clean it and I found that he had been going on these types of sites at night while I am asleep or when I'm not home. I had caught him before and I told him that this bothered me and he told me he wouldnt do it again but he keeps doing it. I know I might sound like a prude to some but I'm not. I would rather him have sex with me then go to the computer. We have tried alot in bed so he cant say that its because i dont do anything. I want him to be satified and I'm all up for doing different things in bed. He have even taken pictures. I dont want him doing this and then coming to bed and thinking of some other women while we are having sex. I am sooo hurt. Is he not attracted to me? Is he looking for something else? Am I not satisfying him?
Oh and please dont say watch it with him. That really doesnt turn me on to watch other people do it, I would rather be the people doing it.
2007-03-12 07:01:38 · 6 answers · asked by Liz 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Buy yourself a huge dildo and hide it in a drawer. When he finds it and asks about it simply shrug your shoulders and say, "Well honey, now you've found what I replaced YOU with!"
2007-03-12 10:05:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'd like to help you but the truth is you have already made up your mind that this is bad and until you are ready to accept that he loves you and that this has nothing to do with you or your sex life than you will just put a huge hole in your marriage. He most likely will not stop looking he will just try to hide it which will hurt you even more. He isn't thinking of another women when he has sex with you guys minds don't work that way. He is thinking of how good it feels with you period. You have told him this bothers you and he has told you this is him without actually saying the words. You can either take it or leave it. Try a compromise such as he can look a few hours a week without getting in trouble as long as he doesn't hide it from you.
2007-03-12 17:01:32 · answer #2 · answered by Trisha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess every one is different and it is not just a guy thing , sometimes I will set my fiance up with a bubble bath, candles and I will put one of the smaller tv's in the bath room and have her watch a porno while I prepare something else.Also I read a study that was peformed on women who claimed that they did not find pornography stimulating at all, they were asked to view pornography while hooked up to a device that measured thier brain waves and in 60% the brain waves were indicitive of pleasure ( meaning they liked what they saw ) I realize that porn, at face value can seem disgusting , but maybe you should view it on your own at first with complete privacy if you enjoy it or you yhink you can tolerate it then view it with your husband. The reason I am advocating this trial is because if you really find pornography that offensive you should be able to tell your husband to stop and you can explain that you made an honest effort to intergrate it into your relationship and it simply did not work. My opinion on porn is this , if you don't BOTH like it , it has to go. I wish you the best.
2007-03-12 18:07:21 · answer #3 · answered by frogenstien 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
unfortunantly, its totally normal. my husband does it when hes up late and im in bed. sometimes it bothers me but if he tried to wake me up i wouldnt be in the mood. the truth is, everyone fantasizes, and thats all it is. if hes not cheating then i wouldnt worry about it. i know that that doesnt really help but the male mind needs variety. it is exciting. it doesnt mean he isnt attracted to you. if you guys vary things and keep it interesting and hes willing to tell you what he wants then perhaps hes just getting good ideas. its not like hes shutting you out and doing this. are you never in the mood while he is not around???? i know it can be a bit annoying and make you question, but unless its an addiction or hes paying and spending a lot of your money on it then i would let it go. thats just me though.
2007-03-12 15:46:19 · answer #4 · answered by tcb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a man thing that your going to have to accept and get over. He isn't trying to replace you or that your not good enough for him. All men have the desire to look at porn, if they say they don't they are a liar. This is just something that men do. Women won't understand it because we are on different sides of the spectrum. I look at porn and completely satisfied sexually.
2007-03-12 16:35:47 · answer #5 · answered by mac_attack_51 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like the other person said it seems to be normal for some men, it doesn't make it easier for us to tolerate. Also it doesn't mean he isn't attracted to you. Some have addictions and this could be his. No, I don't blame you for not wanting to watch it with him. Continue to tell him how it makes you feel. Tell him when he gets the urge to watch porn to wake you and you will be more than glad to show him your sexy body.
2007-03-12 16:17:42 · answer #6 · answered by Krinta 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋