My peditrician has not given me any hassel about it and said that it was ok for me not to. She said that there are formulas out there that are also very good and benefical for the baby too. I do not think I am being selfish because if I am not going to be happy while breastfeeding then I know that my baby won't be happy. Do you think I am a bad parent because of this?
2007-03-12 06:49:15 · 39 answers · asked by Amber B 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Not at all. I am the mother of four children. I breastfed the first for a week and I wasn't getting enough milk, so she got jaundice. With the others I bottle fed. Choosing to bottle feed does not make you a bad mother at all. Just give your baby all the love and affection that you can and do your best and you will be a very good mother.
2007-03-12 08:08:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
I thought I wouldn't like breastfeeding, but I was afraid that I would feel guilty so I tried it. It didn't go so well, but I ended up pumping for three months. The whole time everyone was pressuring me to quit because they thought everyone would be happier. Even the pediatrician told me that she thought I should quit.
I was right about the guilt. The guilt consumes me. I can't get it out of my head. My freezer stash just ran out and I have to feed formula. My mothering instincts that were so strong at the beginning have actually half-faded and I'm afraid. My son gets constipated and sick and I want so badly to relactate but nothing is coming. He cries and cries and looks at me with those big wet eyes and I know he's thinking "Please help me not feel sick anymore, my tummy hurts" but all the advice people give me just makes him more uncomfortable.
By quitting breastfeeding, my body thinks my baby has died and I feel that I've lost the connection I once had. The hormones aren't getting me out of bed at 6am, instead I have to drag myself around. My house was clean because I was just mother of the year, and my baby weight MELTED off, and the second I let my hormones go back to the way they were, I suddenly didn't WANT to play baby games all day. I was tempted to strap him in to something and go be alone. I want it back soooo bad, because being a mother was so great when I felt that intense love. Now it's still there but it's not the same thing.
You should try it for a couple of weeks. At least while you're in the hospital and you have all those lactation nurses to help you. You'll be doing such a great thing for your baby if you even do it once.
2007-03-12 09:43:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hello, the question is really not about thinking you are a bad parent. You have the right to choose the course of feeding for your child. There are great formulas out there these days that are imitations to breast milk; yet can never be the real thing. You see, man made products can never adequately replace what your body produces naturally for the child that you have carried and cared for during the 40 weeks of your pregnancy. No two persons breast milk is the same because our body produces what is needed for our specific child. God created us so awesome! When caring for your child, would you take them to a pediatrician or to someone who has all of the knowledge of a pediatrician, but does not have the medical pedigree to qualify them as a pediatrician? You see there are always, imitations for everything, but why settle for an imitation when you can provide the real thing? One last thing: breast feeding also goes beyond the nutritional aspect. It is also a bonding time for you and your baby. Breastfeeding provides added security and nurturing for your baby. But do remember what ever your choice, whether you breast feed or formula feed, that will not constitute you as a bad parent.
2007-03-12 07:03:50 · answer #3 · answered by atira 1 · 5⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't make you a bad parent, however, your baby can really really benefit from nursing. When you meet your baby and he/she tries to latch on, you might have a change of heart. I would say give it a try. You don't know if you will be unhappy doing it. It's actually really nice to slow down and just nurse sometimes. There is absolutely no formula that is going to give your baby what your mothers milk will. Good luck!
2007-03-12 13:04:22 · answer #4 · answered by -- 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I tried to breastfeed and wasnt producing any milk for a bunch of reasons so I bottle feed my daughter. You have to make decisions that are best for YOU and YOUR BABY! Nobody else should matter in your decision making. My daughter is healthy, beautiful and doing great developmentally! You are exactly right...a happy mom makes a happy baby! Dont let anyone try to make you feel bad for your decisions.
If people arent supportive(friends, family[mother-in-laws], etc) kindly but firmly tell them that this is a decision that you have made in the best interest of you and your baby and while you appreciate their knowledge it is not a matter open for discussion.
You are definately NOT a bad parent!
My mom breastfed me for 6 months and I felt like I was disappointing HER so that made it worse when I couldnt breastfeed! My daughter had a bad case of jaundice and I wanted her better and I was willing to do anything to keep her from going back into the hospital. The breastfeeding natzis who think they're holier than thou forget that we are all trying to be good parents to our children. We all have different methods but our end goal is the same! To have healthy, happy, productive children. Yes, there are added health benefits from breastfeeding but if your sanity hinges on giving them a bottle for the love of God...give them the bottle!
2007-03-12 08:28:25 · answer #5 · answered by GAjen 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why don't you at least give it a try before you decide against it? The baby will benefit from every single drop of milk that you are able to give him. And then you can make a decision based on experience, instead of based on what you think it will be like without even trying it?
Commit to just the time in the hospital and then baby will get the colostrum with is like a first immunization. Or commit to the first 2 weeks and baby will get a good start in life and get some of your antibodies. Or the time you have off work. If you were to make it 6 weeks, you'd be past what most mothers consider the more difficult period and it would be getting easier and you may find you'll truely enjoy it.
Or consider exclusively pumping your milk and putting it into bottles. It's a lot more work, but baby would get the benefit of your milk that way.
2007-03-12 07:08:07 · answer #6 · answered by momma2mingbu 7 · 7⤊ 3⤋
Nope.
I wasn't breastfed as a baby, but I did breastfeed my daughter for the first 4 months of her life. It is hard with work, and I really didn't have a chance to pump during work, nor did I have a place to pump during work, so I stopped.
It is all up to you what you do for your baby. You are right in saying that if you are not happy, then your baby won't be. I found that breastfeeding "forced" me to sit and spend some time relaxing and being a mom. I tend to get caught up with everything happening around me, and with everyone wanting to hold my baby, and all of the other "glorious" happenings, it was welcomed time to be "selfish" and have my daughter all to myself for a time, and be left alone. I loved the bonding time.
But one does not have to breast feed to have this. And a mother is not gauged on if they breast feed or not. If someone is judging your mothering skills on if you breast feed or not, then they are just shallow and their opinion isn't really worth much, is it?
Good luck and congrats!!
2007-03-12 06:59:55 · answer #7 · answered by volleyballchick (cowards block) 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I used to think that I would never breast feed, it used to really freak me out when my friends just casually pulled their breasts out and started feeding their babies in the middle of lunch. The day I had my baby girl, about 3 months ago, I was surprised to have this irresistible urge to feed her myself, to feel her close to me and to give her all the nutrients found in breast milk. Your pediatrician is right, you can find some very good formulas and your baby won't lack the nutrition she requires, but my advice would be to give it a try, and then switch if you are positive you don't want to do it. Also, think about the time and money you'll save, formula is expensive and you need bottles, sterilizer, all those things, and breast milk is always ready and at the perfect temperature, believe me, when it's 4am you won't want to fuss with sterilizing, preparing and warming formula. Whatever you decide, best of luck!
2007-03-12 06:57:28 · answer #8 · answered by Limoncello 3 · 8⤊ 1⤋
I think that you will be doing yourself and your baby a disservice by not trying at all. I mean, you can always go from breast to bottle, its alot harder to go from bottle to breast.
I was really nervous about breastfeeding at first too. I hate my nipples being touched by ANYONE and the thought of a baby sucking on them several times a day really gave me the chills.
But I knew the facts and I couldn't ignore those facts. My child WOULD be healthier if he were breastfed. So, I put my reservations aside and tried it. And I loved it from that moment on (okay, maybe not all day everyday).
It is soo completely different when its your child. You can't really know that you won't be happy until you try. And I mean really try, not half-assing it.
What happens if your baby ends up with colic because she can't digest the proteins in formula? You will both be miserable.
If you can ignore all the benefits that breastmilk offers and not even give it a chance? Yes, you're being selfish.
Breastfeeding is the first (and one of the smallest!) in a long line of sacrifices we make for our children. Doing something that you KNOW will leave your child vunerable to a myriad of illnesses and long-term health problems is... its very selfish.
Not to mention the benefits breastfeeding offers you!
I seriously doubt you will check out the link I post... but I hope that you do.
There is plenty of information on this subject... please read some of it. If you still choose to ignore the facts... well theres nothing anyone can do about that. But I hope that some of it sinks in.
2007-03-12 07:52:13 · answer #9 · answered by Mommy to David 4 · 3⤊ 3⤋
I do not think you are a bad parent,everyone makes their own decisions,of course I do believe that breast milk is best for your baby but there are some amazing formulas out there.My baby was not able to breast feed so I pumped for the first 5 months,this may be something to think about even for the first month or so,your baby needs the antibodies your milk provides,but if you choose not to then that is your choice,I personally would not judge you for not breast feeding,I would say give it a second thought even on pumping for a little while.
2007-03-12 06:58:49 · answer #10 · answered by sweetpea 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋