how to be confident around people with high confidence?

Question

i get intimidated by people who have great social skills and are really outgoing...how can i be one or at least maintain my self esteem...i was so happy about something, greeting people and after a weekend with the outgoing people, my selfesteem goes down the drain....=(

Answer 1

Just stick to them. You'll eventually get the tips on how they do it by hanging more around them. If you want to be successful, stick to hanging around successful people. Birds of a feather flock together, right?

Answer 2

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior unless you let them". I agree with this. I also believe that people are basically self centered, and so the more competition that you give them, the more they dislike you. I take this dislike to be a good sign, not a bad sign. Just maintain a group of good friends, and let the rest of the world go jump in a lake. That is what I do and it has worked well for me, so far, (I think).
P.S. Go and rent the movie "13 going on 30" starring Jennifer Garner and I think you will get what I mean.

Answer 3

Here are some ways to connect to the confidence within you.

1. Be aware that confidence comes from inside, not outside.


You can't use others as a yardstick. Other people take their cue from you. If you act confident, people will have confidence in you. If you are hesitant or timid, no one will be able to put their trust in you.

2. Start with your strengths (and we ALL have them).


Make a list of your strengths, no matter how silly the list may seem at first glance. If you can boil a 'mean' pot of water or touch your nose with your toes, let yourself get in touch with how you feel about that. That feeling is known as confidence.

3. Allow the memory of confident times to be your trigger.


It doesn't matter if it happened in the 2nd grade, remembering a time that you were on top of the world, if only for a moment, can be all you need to feel confident here and now, in this situation.

4. Confidence is like rabbits: it multiplies exponentially.


Once you start feeling confident about everything you do well, you start looking for other areas you feel confident in. You also start feeling confident about things you haven't done before. You'll be able to more honestly assess your skills and expertise and give yourself the opportunity to succeed. Allow the feeling to multiply just like all those bunnies in that commercial where the gentleman has to get approval for a check.

5. Maintain an attitude of gratitude.


Gratitude puts (and keeps) a smile on your face. What's the first thing you notice about confident people? They're smiling.

6. Identify your rules for feeling confident, then rewrite them!


If I asked the question 'What must be in place in order for you to feel confident?', I can guarantee that you will have a long list of conditions that must ALL be in place in order for you to feel confident. If I asked you who wrote those rules, you would answer 'I did,' although it may take you a moment or two to realize that fact. If you wrote the current set, take the initiative and rewrite your rules. Make them simple, stated in the positive, and totally in your control. (P.S. There is nothing more in your control than your thoughts. That's why #3 works.) One more thing: make sure your new list is divided by ORs, not ANDs.

7. Hang out with confident people.


Confidence is contagious. Actually, all feelings are contagious. Which group will make you feel better? One that exudes strength, confidence and positivity? Or one that is constantly seeing the worst that could happen, fearful of trying anything new, afraid to be embarassed? Hang out with the one that makes you feel like you can accomplish anything you want!

8. Completion equals confidence.


Finishing anything at all gives you confidence. The knowledge that you can put your mind to something and do it is all that is required to feel confident. Look around and finish everything you see unfinished.

9. Only you can kill the feeling of confidence.


Just as you can't find confidence outside of yourself, no one else can stop you from feeling confident. Have you ever noticed that really confident people are oblivious to your opinion of them? No matter what you've done, it's only YOUR opinion that matters.

10. Don't worry about getting 'above' yourself.


Some of us don't want to get too big for our britches. We think that downplaying our abilities is the way to go. The truth is that thinking is just another way to keep playing small. It undermines our ability to succeed because after a while we start believing that 'it' was no big deal. As Norman Vincent Peale expressed it: 'Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.' I like that phrase, 'humble but reasonable.' If you keep that in mind, you can't go wrong.

Answer 4

That can be very hard I know, but if you are having social problems and are trying to recover don't hang around those types of people. Get your self-confidence up and talk to people maybe who have the same problem, talk to a therapist and gradually work your way up. You can do it!!

Answer 5

well something about them makes u feel small coz i guess u compare ureself with them ur not in competition with anyone u have a right to b here so stop comparing b urself love urself pple are drawn to pple who appreciate themselves

Answer 6

read a lot and be with confident people, a lot. gradually by doing so, you will develope that high confident in you.

Answer 7

What is it that you expect of yourself? Define your answer to that and go from there. Don't be afraid to ask questions. We all have much to learn from others. As they have to learn from us. Be yourself and enjoy. You can't go wrong.

Answer 8

try to let some of their confindence rub off on you, and if not, try not to hang around them if they make you feel that bad.