Hia im 16 years old and have been in a long term relationship 4 two yrs, i recently found out i am 6 weeks pregnant n dreaded tellin my mum. I have told her and she says she'll support me no mata whatt. now i dnt kno wt 2 do, bt now my boyfriend isn't giving me any support,and wouldnt even come with me 2 tell my mum, i am losing him and dont kno what 2 do. I am worried if i also keep my baby ppl will look down on me, and dont want to put my family 2 shame. plz help me
2007-03-12 06:34:16 · 13 answers · asked by strawberry 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Oh Strawberry. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. (and I'm even sorrier for some of the responses you've already received) My biggest advice is to see your school counselor for support and guidance as well as to keep an open discussion going with your mum. Unfortunately no one can make this decision for you and it's especially unfortunate that now you have to. The important thing is that you do what you feel is right for you. Don't let anyone pressure you to make any decision that you're not comfortable with. Make sure to research all your options.
2007-03-12 06:40:45 · answer #1 · answered by poohb2878 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't take back the fact that you're pregnant and unfortunately, the odds of you and your boyfriend working out beyond high school even WITHOUT a baby are slim to none. Kudos to your mom for being so supportive! You're an extremely lucky girl to have such a wonderful mom. I'm really sorry you're in this situation, I truly am, and I know how scary it must be for you but the simple truth now is that your priorities have got to change. Your life must now revolve around the life of your unborn child. Man or no man. Your boyfriend is probably overhwelmed and scared to death so let him do what he's going to do and just try to keep him included in the baby's life. It comes down to a simple matter now of letting him go. If he won't stick with you through something as major as this then he's not right for you anyways. There will be people who look down on you but you just hold your head up high and shake it off. They're just being judgemental and that's not in your best interest or the interest of your baby. Hang in there girl ! You can make it through this!
2007-03-12 13:41:52 · answer #2 · answered by 'tisJustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy can be a very confusing time bringing with it many emotions and questions. Whether you decide to parent or make an adoption plan, it is important for you to take care of the baby inside of you.
It can be very difficult to tell your parents that you are pregnant. However, dealing with an unplanned pregnancy is not something you want go through alone.
Many pregnant teens go straight to a school nurse or friend who provide help in getting a secret abortion. The first thing a parent should do is to hold their temper and emotions. This is the most traumatic experience a child has ever gone though and (like you) needs the support and love of a parent.
As soon as possible, take a family trip to your local crisis pregnancy center. They will direct you to the medical care necessary for your pregnancy and provide vital support for the whole family. Most crisis pregnancy centers offer counseling for the entire family, support groups, answer questions and explores options such as adoption and raising the baby. They will be able to direct you to financial aid, adoption services and child-care services.
It is important to sit down as a family and discuss the pregnancy and options. Let everyone, including you, talk and vent his or her feelings. Prents need to do so responsibly and continue to love their children through the process.
Your parents should find workable solutions for the decision you makes. Having a baby is certainly overwhelming for an adult and especially for a teenager. Your paretns can offer to baby-sit for you while you attend classes or works a part-time job. If you decide to give the baby away, your parents should help her arrange an open adoption, where you can retain loose contact with her child in the future.
Above all, you and your parents should not be ashamed of themselves or you. They should love you and love your precious little baby.
If your boyfriend will not support you - seek the support from another person. A very close aunt or cousin / a teacher or counselor at school / a neighbor or the mother of one of your friends.
GOOD LUCK SWEETIE - I HOPE THAT IT WORKS OUT FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY.
2007-03-12 13:51:14 · answer #3 · answered by Pepper171 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to decide what is best for you! You shouldn't be as worried about what other people think. If your mom is willing to support you and help then that is all you need. I was also a young mom and I kept my daughter and she is the best thing that ever happend to me. I started making better choices in life because she deserved better. She made me want better, I finished school and looked for the best job that would support us. My mom was by my side and that is all I needed.
If you believe that you can take care of a new baby and be happy then do it. If you don't think you can handle it ask you mom if she will adopt the baby, or you can go through an adoption agency and choose really good parents that will love the baby as much as you do.
Even if you give up the baby it sounds like you will not get the guy in the end. He sounds like a jerk to just let you deal with it. But guys deal with it differently so you need to talk to him and see if he is withdrawing because of the baby or if he is scared. Let him know you are scared too and you can work together on it. Ask what he wants.
I wish you the best...but please think of the baby and not yourself. What will be best for the baby. They didn't ask to be in this world yet...you made that desicion for it.
Best wishes!!
2007-03-12 13:48:48 · answer #4 · answered by Sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well hun I am very sorry you are going through such tribulations at your age, but if your mom is there for you that is the most important person! Your boyfriend is probably in shock, and might just need some time... try not to stress to much hun you are fragile right now! You will not put your family to shame because you cared for your child... you are 16 that is very big of you to continue with the pregnancy! You do not need to worry about others, think about yourself and your baby... you seem to love the little one already!! I wish you the best hun, and you are very strong!!
2007-03-12 14:01:25 · answer #5 · answered by giannamarie1209 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have the baby, give it up. Who's looking down on you, and for what. There's a lot you may have done in your lifetime to dissapoint society, but the truth is this kind of thing happens to hundreds of girls everyday. This is a mistake. You're 16 and not smart enough to know how to stay out of trouble. You're setting yourself up for a life of medochrity and you can stop all that, by giving the child to a family who really wants a child, who are educated and who will raise her to be more than you can offer her. I know that sounds awful, but truly... are you ready to deal with a baby, a toddler, what about when he/she is of school age? As far as the dad goes. He probably pressured you into sex, and made you feel like he would just like you better if you'd sleep with him, and becasue of your unpreparedness his manipulation worked. You shouldn't be worrying about how other people will be lookin down on you, you should worry about how you feel about yourself, and whether that's good enough for a child.
Sorry this happened to all of you.
2007-03-12 14:01:29 · answer #6 · answered by kikumatsu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about him. If you don't think you can handle being a mom yet, PLEASE look into adoption??? Emotional support is great from your mom, but can/ will she support you and the baby for the next 18 years, physically and financially as well?
At this point, isn't it a little late to worry about appearances of your family? Shouldv'e thought about that when you slept with the guy without protection.
2007-03-12 13:41:58 · answer #7 · answered by juicy13500 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it is.. I would consider having the baby adopted; only because he/she would be living with a family that wasn't able to bare or have childeren of their own. I look to the positive side of it all.. there are Closed & Open Adotions Open is where you get to see your baby in pictures or sometimes visiting them.
In high school I was way too caught up in homework, sports & hanging around with friends I loved skateboarding a lot! So for me.. high school is over, college is a bit hectic.
I had a few close friends who had their babies, only two kept their baby; the others did not care for.. mainly because they had more than one abortion. the other 2 gave theirs up for adoption, one gave her's up for adotion for her brother his wife could not bare childeren. That was nice.
I hope this helped out.
2007-03-12 13:57:00 · answer #8 · answered by Dawn R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know its scary but you must discuss this with your mum, she has already told you that she will be there for you !! as hurtfull as it is you do not need your boyfriend huni and if he doesnt want anything to do with you now then he is not worth it!!
also do not worry what other people say or think of you, you are going to have a little baby who you will love with all your heart , and you will manage just fine with the support from your mum alone.
2007-03-12 13:41:13 · answer #9 · answered by kimberley123 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are people that can help you. There is an organization called Heartbeat that helps girls in your exact position. Please call their toll-free number 1-800-395-HELP. They can tell you your options, what help is in your area, and give you support. Having a child is a big responsibility and you should not go through it alone. My heart goes out for you, and I hope you decide to keep and love your baby.
2007-03-12 13:47:12 · answer #10 · answered by day_eight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋