"Mother-in law" problem?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 2 years now and he lives with his mom (hes 23) and I live with my parents still (i'm 20) (we live near the beach and everything is so expensive so we are waiting to move in with each other.)Anyway... His mother has been making comments lately. We were at dinner one night in a "nice" restaurant with my parents, his mom, my brother & my brothers girlfriend. Heres what happened... My boyfriend was near my college earlier that day and I asked him why he didnt call me to have lunch (sorta joking...) anyway she does this face, like thumbs to your ears toungue sticking out "nah nah nah" face like a 2years old... and says "He called me!" I just laughed it off.... We have always gotten along, but I just dont understand why she was acting that way. and the other day he decided to stop and get me flowers on the way home and then decided that his mother would get jealous/mad so he bought her some also? any suggestions? thanks

Answer 1

You don't need to do or say anything about this just yet. It does not sound as if it has reached an unhealthy state. His mother is experiencing separation anxiety and he is sensitive to it. Despite the fact that he's still at home, she knows that the time is fast approaching when he will move out. To her, you represent the time when he will take a wife and leave her. Your comment about his not calling was kind of a joke. She sensed that at least a part of you was serious. She in turn made a kind of silly joke about his calling her for lunch. She also was part serious. Your poor boyfriend is now in the middle of a competition between 2 women he loves. Try and make it a bit easier for him by not making issues out of minor matters. Eventually, if you 2 end up getting married or moving in together, the lines will have to be drawn. He will have to be the one to draw them.

Answer 2

She sounds a little threatened by you. She sounds like she can't allow her son to have another woman in his life without enjoying the competition for his attention. If he is worried about his mother being jealous because he gave you flowers, that is a red flag. I am a mother of a son who is going to be an adult in a couple of months. If my son bought flowers for his girlfriend, I would be so happy that he wants to treat her right. I would not feel at all threatened or jealous. The fact that your boyfriend worries about his mother being jealous, and the immature behavior she displayed in the restaurant, tells me that she is perhaps trying to keep her son wrapped around her finger. You could either tell your boyfriend that he needs to stand up to his mother, or you could simply deny her the satisfaction of getting to you and refuse to allow her behavior to deter you from your relationship with her son. If you have been together for 2 years, she may be under the impression that if she scares you away from her son, then she will not be in danger of losing him to you. If you don't allow her to mistreat you, yet you ignore her attempts to drive you away, then you will be showing her that you are not going anywhere and she might as well get used to the idea. Good luck!!

Answer 3

Naturally, the mother inlaw is afraid you're 'stealing' her son, and it will not change in the near future.
Talk to your bf about this seriously and make it clear between the two of you what your priorities are.
The mom won't stop even after you're married 20 years. You can't change her, but you can change your attitude and take it with an understanding way.

Answer 4

i'm sure she feels a little threatened by you, most all guy's mom's are. His mom is just used to being the woman in his life who takes care of him, and when he does things (like call her instead of you) she probably feels good, because his phone call is saying that he still thinks she's important. With the whole flower thing, thats sweet that he would think of his mom too, but getting flowers for your girlfriend isn't the same thing as getting flowers for your mom. I think you should talk to him about it, and if it gets worse, talk to her about it.

Answer 5

I thoroughly be attentive to how annoyed you're, surprisingly for the reason that she mentioned particular and then all of sudden that's no. So I understand your edge and that i understand mom's edge additionally. She is thoroughly and legally to blame for you till you're 18, so she will make those judgements, and in case you circulate slowly into her concepts and heart, she is doing what she believes is nice for you and your physique. possibly you will not experience sorry with reference to the lip piercing, yet i think of she might experience sorry approximately providing you with permission for piercing your lip at this form of youthful age. only using fact a number of your friends' mothers and dads gave permission, would not advise they are cool mothers and dads. especially circumstances mothers and dads do no longer want those variety of issues completed to their babies "on their watch." Please do no longer do it without your mothers and dads' permission, using fact think of approximately how which will chip away at their have confidence for you. there will be cases on your existence between now and 18 once you will ask for something the place they're going to say "particular" and count on the reality they are able to have confidence you. as far as persuading them, in case you have a pal who they like who has had this completed, have her confer with them. additionally, do some internet study on it and latest that to them. If I have been your mothers and dads, i would not approve a lip piercing. i do no longer think of it sounds as though good and that i do no longer think of that's mandatory secure---that's pulled. yet that's only me. in the adventure that your mothers and dads have been good to you in different procedures, weigh the whole things by contrast "no." have confidence me, in existence you will hear "no" many cases once you enhance up, from college instructors to bosses!!! so so you might verify to be accepting. the final occasion you are able to set is to be an amazing daughter and that's your ultimate wish they're going to ultimately come around. in the event that they do no longer, decide some danger unfastened issues to do particularly, and comprehend they are coming from a place of love and accountability.

Answer 6

your boyfriend seems to be a bit of a mummys boy, tell him that u want him to cut the apron strings, he is in a relationship with you if he loves u enuf he will do it, dont let his mum know that she is getting to you she would probably do it more if she knows she is getting to you, also ask him to visit you that way he is away from his mum and can concentrate on you and not his mum, its 1 thing having respect for parents but that should not interfere with your relationship. hope this helps

Answer 7

I think she was just trying to be fuuny, i dont think she did it to be mean, if you 2 got along in the past, she feels comfortable around you, thats all. the flower thing though...........lol he just may be a tipical mommy's boy.

Answer 8

I think they are in love with each other.