I am living for 4 years now in a foreign country far away from home. I used to live with my boyfriend but we recently broke up. Now I am living alone for the first time in my life, I've never lived alone before. I have no family here and no real friends, only talk to workmates who are nice, but...I've been living alone for 2 months now. Sometimes I get panic attacks. is this normal?? I feel so lonely. How was your experience?? Please share, I feel sometimes I am going nuts! I am never suicidal though and if I start being I will be really worried about myself. How to overcome this fear??? i do NOT want to go abck to my ex jsut because I am affraid to live alone! Really any comment is welcome!
2007-03-12 06:06:51 · 11 answers · asked by stargazer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Relax and enjoy your time alone! I went through a simaliar situation and the one day I woke up and said hey this isn't so bad.I don't have to answer to anybody.I can watch what I want,I can eat what I want,I can sleep when I want anything I feel like doing I can.
But go out make new friends that you like.Ask your work mates If they would like to come over for dinner or whatever.Give it time you will love your new freedom!
2007-03-12 06:17:08 · answer #1 · answered by gibbygirl38 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It's going to be great. Really. I think you are just going through a bit of seperation anxiety. You should be proud of yourself for having the courage to go at it by yourself. This is going to be the most liberating experience of your life and you will be a stronger woman for doing it. Everyone has different transition times for something like this. I think you are just use to someone being there all the time. Have you thought about getting a pet? This could really help ease the transition. This is a wonderful time to figure out who you are, not who you are with someone else. There is a difference. I suggest possibly getting a pet and a hobby...try maybe a ball room dancing class...great way to make friends and meet new people (and laugh at yourself)....Take 10 deep breaths when you start to feel anxiety attack coming on then smile for today is the day you start the rest of your life......
2007-03-12 13:17:01 · answer #2 · answered by in2one 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's even scarier because it's far from your family, I'm sure...
Maybe you could invite a few of your favorite workmates over for dinner/drinks/movie or something now and then, or at least don't be shy about doing things with them if they invite you. Work on developing friendships. If there's a club or course you're interested in checking out, go for it - you can meet more people who have things in common with you and make new friends to help fill up your time and let you feel less lonely.
Make sure you have a good long distance plan, or webcam and internet, and keep in close touch with your family and friends back home!
Stay brave, breathe deep and stay calm, and good luck to you!
2007-03-12 13:15:45 · answer #3 · answered by Megs 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I lived in Japan for a year and was homesick and felt a bit crazy, even without the whole ex thing. It gets better after the first 2 months. Just keep going day by day. Go see new places, do new hobbies, meet new people. Keep living!! Hang in there! It worked for me. See this as a once in a lifetime change to explore and get to know the world and yourself better. Build great memories!
2007-03-12 13:12:11 · answer #4 · answered by natsuko1 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think it's normal since it's the 1st time. But it's good to learn to live on your own and be completely and totally independent of other people. It's called 'growing up'. I've been living alone for almost 3 years and have so much fun. I never thought it would be this cool. If you focus on the bad things, you'll only have bad results. You can come and go as you please and do whatever you want. If you want to be with other people, find som eone to hang out with. But don't expect other people to live your life. You need to do that for yourself.
2007-03-12 13:11:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
i'm glad you dont want to go back to your ex because y ou are scared to death to be alone! i knwo how tough it is to be all by yourself. (and i have four kids that depend on me!) i've been there!! but you can do it! you are an adult and you are smart and you know how to survive. if you can hold down a job you can survive! just relax and do some things that will help you cope. first of all, go to a church or go sign up for a bowling group, softball...i'm not sure what activities are there in your country. perhaps volunteer work at a hospital. you need to get comfortable with your world around you and not be afraid to live in it alone. spread your wings and things will look less scary! i STILL sleep with the t.v on. lol it's been four years since he moved on and i have to sleep with the t.v. on. or perhaps some soothing music. dont worry about leaving light on! and go to chat groups if you hear bumps in the night. just conversing with another human being can ease the tension. if you need to talk email me!
2007-03-12 13:14:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I lived overseas myself without family or friends around and it is very scary..so your fears are normal , don't let anyone tell you differently ,... just don't let them take over...you need to develop more friends ..maybe there is a group there you can join for Americans or ? or whatever your nationality ... contact the local government to see or check on line.... ...how about making pen pals as well ..I still have mine from Long ago and we write off and on but at times when I feel the need I write often ...it helps .... try to enjoy your time there and have as many experiences as you can ..good luck
2007-03-12 13:15:44 · answer #7 · answered by connie b 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Join some clubs in your area to get more involved.
Otherwise, maybe you'd like to go home.
Oh, or get a roommate!
2007-03-12 13:19:30 · answer #8 · answered by Pedro Sanchez 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well..sounds like you're pretty homesick...i would suggest you to take a long vacation off back to your hometown to get over with your feelings...when things are settled and you'd know which direction you wana persue...then jz follow your dreams...the grass are always greener on the other fence .....talk to some1 close to you...jz let it out....all da best
2007-03-12 13:13:20 · answer #9 · answered by nirvanalive88 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
find yourself a therapist to talk to they will be able to walk you through some rough patches. Go out with your workmates and become friends.
2007-03-12 13:11:37 · answer #10 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋