Will my husband come back?

Question

My husband and I have been dating for 6 years and married for 5 months. He has left the house and is staying on peoples couches for the last month. He says we are not right for eachother and he has been unhappy for years. He says he never agrees with me and all I do is put him down and he wants a divorce. He never calls to check on me or our dogs or anything he has just shut down. I want to save my marriage I love him so much. He says he can't agree to disagree with me and we are just not meant to be. Please help... can I get him back

Answer 1

In my situation, he said I never smiled anymore and he wanted the old happy me back, but every time we saw each other I just cried because of all the pain of what we were going through. This just alienated him even more and made him want to stay away which made me cry even more.

You likely need some time apart. If he still doesn't want to be with you, you may have to let it go, but I only think that after so long, you owe it to yourself to make sure its over before you give up and walk away.

It takes two to tango, yes. BUT sometimes it just takes one person with faith and conviction to get a couple through a rocky patch that would have otherwise led to divorce. He must have loved you when you got married and hoped for more, otherwise why would he have gone through with it?

Hang in there. Time will tell.

Answer 2

If he isn't willing to do anything you have suggested, then, sad to say, it's a done deal. It takes two to make a marriage work. You can want it all with all your heart, but if you make a suggestion and all he does is throw a reason why he can't or won't, it's over. You love him and it's a shock to you, he's been feeling this way for a while and is just now saying something to you. Unfair? Yes, but ask him if counseling will get you all started on starting over. Ask him if you all can just stay separate for a moment and date again. It seems as if the pressures of a relationship are getting to him. I mean, he's dedicated 6 1/2 years, why not try one last time? Good Luck.

Answer 3

well, i would try to communicate that you are open to trying to work things out. Make sure you make him think about the vows he took when he did marry you and how you both had to feel about each other in order to get married in the first place. Marriage is through better or worse, and use psychology on him, by saying that you know things are hard and not perfect right now, but you love him so much that it would be a shame to lose a love like yours. Tell him how you know things are meant to get better and the only way we can get back to where we belong is by working together. tell him how it won't be easy but no relationship is easy, because if it were all easy all the time, then we wouldn't appreciate the strength of our relationships, because we had no struggle. If he still isn't buying it, then tell him, that if he honestly wants to give up on this relationship then you will have to understand, because it may not be as important to him as you feel it is, In this case, i know you may have a history, but you can't build something with someone that isn't willing to meet you half way. So then as the strong woman that you are you have to pick up the pieces of your broken heart and broken faith, and know that you really deserve happiness and you may find it with someone else, someone who you have NO arguments with or little arguments with. So this was really a blessing. what do ya think?

Answer 4

You need to seek some counseling to see what led to this behavior. It seems odd that he decided to do all this AFTER you married him, instead of before. I married my husband after 6 years of dating also, and divorced him two years later. I fell out of love, I walked away and never looked back. I didn't want too. All I wanted was to get away from him, because he never would make an effort at our relationship. By the time he was willing to try--I was so far gone, there was no turning back. Don't let this happen (if it hasn't already). You need to listen to him, find out what it is that is the problem, get in depth counseling and put your whole heart into the marriage--if you don't you may lose him forever. If he is at the point that I was at, unfortunately seperation is the only thing that will determine whether or not it is worth saving. I seperated for 5 months, and 1 month after he was "back" I filed for divorce. If it is worth having it is worth working for.

Answer 5

Sorry to say this but~ he is gone.....he is over you and sad to say and i know it hurts, but you are NOT over him and I bet you call him and beg him back and the more that you do this the more he is going to stay away from you. He might already have someone else also. You might want to consider thinking about this because that is why he might be giving you the blow off (cold shoulder) just (i know it is hard...but) just do it and do NOT CALL him .....see if he will come running back (most likely not ...but) you have to have the willpoer to just keep your distance from this man that you married. good luck and i do hope that things can work out, but remember if they do not work out, please don't beat yourself up on this issue. sometimes things happen for a reason (a good reason) there might be another satisfying life out there for you that will bring you much more love and joy~ you never know~

Answer 6

I'm not holding out a lot of hope for you.

At least this is happening after 5 months and a couple of dogs rather than 15 years and 3 kids.

He might be in some sort of bout of depression, but who knows. If he won't come home and deal with it, then I don't see what choice you have,

Answer 7

See if he is willing to get help for both of you, like counseling. He really shouldn't have married you if he's been "unhappy for years", so it's definitely his fault, too. I personally think all marriages can be saved if both parties are willing to work hard. Some hurts will never fully heal, but if you want to save your marriage, you will need some help from your husband. Good luck.

Answer 8

You are concern that he doesn't call to check on the dogs?
Lady this dude is not interested in you anymore. He was a punk for not saying so before you two got married.

Better to get a divorce now and move on before he comes back get you pregnant leaves again and doesn't call to check on the baby.

Answer 9

Well if you really want someone who doesn't want to be with you anymore, then keep trying. But it seems to me that maybe after the marriage certificate dried he realized he was trapped. I mean why in the world did he marry you if he has been unhappy for years. It seems like you love him but if getting him back means you have to force him then think if you really want someone who doesn't want you.

Answer 10

if he says the marriage is over then he doesn't want to come back when one spouse don't love you but you love him there is nothing you can do but be broken hearted and feel sad and betrayed im separated myself if he wants a divorce i know its hard but get one or have him get it if he wants the marriage to be over its hard to file if you love your husband thats why i've not made that step i figure if he doesn't love me he can come up with money for a divorce since its him that wants out