I'v been in a relationship for 6 months and in the beginning i did not see this controlling characteristic. Now its completely holding me back.
Is it possible he will change his controlling ways?
2007-03-12 05:55:19 · 23 answers · asked by starQt 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We all are on our best behavior at the beginning of a relationship because we want to please the other person and keep them. After that initial phase, our true character comes out. What you are seeing now is what he is like.
Can he change? Sure. The question is does he want to and is he capable of being honest so he can get the help he needs to deal with his insecurities? And while he's doing that it would be best for you to move on so he can focus on himself and deal with his controlling ways. Control freaks can be dangerous.
2007-03-12 06:00:01 · answer #1 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience they only get worse. Most turn to violence. No one should control you ever . They have mental issues, and no you cant change them . I would get out now before if it hasnt already became violent . I was with my husband for 6 mths parents moved away and that is when it started i had no close family and then when i tried to talk to him and tell him i had a problem with him controling me and it did nothing but make him angry not long after that he became Very Very violent . If and when you decide to leave the relationship stand your ground no matter how he begs and says he will change dont go back cause when you go back your giving him the power and he will start to be worse cause he will think you will keep coming back dont get in that cycle . Make sure when you break it off you have family and friends around you so things dont get out of hand. Also restraing orders . I know they are paper but if it comes to court if he violates it he can serve jail time and face fines so most of them back-off and go to the next in their eyes weak person to control . becareful and take care
2007-03-12 13:04:53 · answer #2 · answered by cassie9003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Controlling men do not change. If you only have 6 months invested in this relationship, then you could cut your losses more easily now than later. Unless you want to be controlled and told what you can and cannot do, then you should take control of your own life and move on.
2007-03-12 12:59:36 · answer #3 · answered by nurse_33_burlington 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
More than likely he will not change his ways. Controlling men are usually insecure about something and take it out on you. Don't let him disrespect you, make it known that you are an independent person, and that he needs to back off. If all else fails, leave the relationship. Trust me, it will only get worse if you allow it to happen, and possibly turn into an abusive relationship. Get out while you can.
2007-03-12 12:57:28 · answer #4 · answered by Queen Bee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is it that is controlling? Is it keeping you from being the person you are, seeing your friends, doing things you like? If so, get out now. You are lucky to see it this quickly and recognize it. That type of behavior usually is something that leads to emotional and mental abuse. I still haven't quite figured out the 'controlling' factor but my ex is an 'all about me' person. Even over our kids said to say. He was on best behavior prior to our marriage and I kept making excuses for him for several years. I finally woke up and realized how far I had come from the person I had been.
Good luck to you whatever you decide. Talk to him about what is causing the controlling behavior and how you feel. See if he has true concern for your feelings by changing his ways - long term. Always - be true to you.
2007-03-12 13:06:42 · answer #5 · answered by Margaret K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way he will control his controlling ways is for you not to continue to let him control the situation anymore. Men who feel that they have to control women who they are in relationships with, generally have low self-esteem. They would never admit it. Sometimes somewhere in their past, someone or something had too much authority over them, and being controlling is a learned behavior. don't expect things to change by themselves.
2007-03-12 13:09:24 · answer #6 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He won't change. He controls because he's insecure, which has nothing to do with you. May as well end it now, because it will only get worse. If he's holding you back now, imagine how far behind you'll be in another 6 months.
2007-03-12 12:58:33 · answer #7 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope. You're just now seeing this person's true colors. People honestly do not change. I've dated controlling men and it doesn't get better once you figure things out =) I'd get out while you have the opportunity.
2007-03-12 12:59:21 · answer #8 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some women are as controlling, too. It's just their nature to be that way. The question I'd like answered is why do people get into and stay with controlling people? You can get out, ya know?
2007-03-12 12:57:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
It's not just men that are controlling...
he probably will not change and this is not a good sign for you because this behavior can get worse if you put up with it. I'd run if I were you.
2007-03-12 12:58:33 · answer #10 · answered by Brainiac 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋