Hi all. I am 27, and after doing the dating/single thing for a long time, I've finally found the person I'm very happy to settle down with. Our relationship is great, no complaints from either of us. We live together and are starting our family now. I'd like to hear from everyone their best advice to help keep things this way! LOL. If you're in a great relationship, what are things you do to keep it that way? If your relationship has failed, tell me things you think contributed to this. Lessons learned from others are much more painless than learning for yourself.
2007-03-12 05:51:57 · 22 answers · asked by yourmama 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My personal opionio is Honesty and Trust. That is the number one aspect to make a relationship/marriage stronge and keep it that way.
It is soo important to trust your spouse and be able to communicate and have a discussion openly and honestly.
Not only that, just loving your mate and showing them that you love them, keeping that love alive, and knowing how to keep it alive.
The best of luck to you and your new to be family. My personal advice is just be completly honest with your mate.
There is nothing better in a relationship than a clean and honest conversation with your best friend.
EDIT: All these answers are soo great and so true. Its soo interesting to read advices of people that are happily married and still in love. I just adore the couples that keep the love and marriage alive for many years.
SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE IS MORE THAN FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON. ITS BECOMING THE RIGHT PERSON.
2007-03-12 06:09:50 · answer #1 · answered by Happily Married 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-05 19:45:43 · answer #2 · answered by Errol 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wife and I follow each one of these rules religiously?
Have you ever wondered "what is the secret to a long and happy marriage?" Our collection of tried and true marriage advice tips will help you answer that very question! These secrets to a happy marriage come straight from the horse's mouth -- those who are happily married!
1. Never assume.
2. Compliment more than you criticize.
3. For each time you vent about your husband/wife to your friends, tell three positive stories.
4. Remember that it is ok to do things differently (e.g. there is more than one way to peel a potato or fold the laundry).
5. Always make time for the two of you.
6. Marry someone that you enjoy listening and talking to.
7. Remember that marriage is sometimes a bed of roses and sometimes there are thorns.
8. Remember that the best gift that you can give your children is to love their mother/father.
9. Be fair! Split the housework, spending money, etc evenly. This way you are never resentful of your partners contributions (or lack of) or expenditures.
10. Never go to bed angry. (Unless it's 3a.m. and you're exhausted, angry, and not thinking straight.)
11. Remember that people do fight. It's how you do it that matters.
12. Before starting an argument, consider if it's really worth it.
13. Fight naked. ;)
14. Agree to disagree.
15. Never, ever mention the "D" word (divorce).
16. Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?
17. Respect each other's privacy.
18. Remember that "love is like childhood. You need to learn to share."
19. Marriage is not 50/50, it's two people giving 100/100 all of the time.
20. Surprise each other now and then.
21. The secret to a happy marriage is two TV's!
22. Have date night!
23. Never pass up an opportunity to say "I love you".
24. Hold hands.
25. Hug & kiss every day (several times a day actually!).
26. Always believe that you got better than you deserved.
27. Be quick to say "I'm sorry".
28. Choose the one you love, then love the one you choose.
29. Keep the in-laws out of your marriage!
30. Love isn't always a feeling, it's a decision.
31. Hang in there. It's worth it.
32. Play nice, play often, love much.
33. Never air your dirty laundry as a couple in public.
34. Never keep secrets from each other.
35. Be each other's champion. No matter what, take your husband or wife's side first!
36. Communication is the key!
37. Always respect each other.
38. Never underestimate the power of a good belly-laugh and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.
39. It's the little things that matter most.
40. Never use the words 'Always' and 'Never' in a fight.
41. It's ok to argue, but never use curse words to express your anger.
42. Never compare your marriage to others. What you see on the outside is not always what it is on the inside.
43. Don't make love in the same place/position everytime. Variety is the spice of life!
2007-03-12 05:57:16 · answer #3 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I could offer tons of advice from experience...with the same person for 30 years! Maybe the best single observation, not necessarily advice, is to watch out for the odd "phenomena" that is this: often , the things we are most attracted to in a person in the short term are the very ones that we end up having problems with in the long haul...maybe some things are best in small doses? Example-the "strong, silent type" male we fall in love with becomes the husband who "never talks to me". The mate who is "so much fun, loves to have a good time" becomes the "party animal" who wants to go out every night. The career-minded, goal oriented, good-provider types become work-aholics who are never home. You get the idea...i guess the advice is to beware of any characteristic your chosen possesses to a really strong degree, even good ones. They may come back to bite you in the @ss one day. Be careful what you wish for?
2007-03-12 06:01:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest - about what you're happy about, and also what you are NOT happy about.
Put your spouse first.
Do something to make them feel special EVERY day. Even if very small.
Don't ever let them feel like you don't need them.
Love them. A lot. Keep up the sex, even if you aren't that interested. Kiss them, even for no reason or out of the blue.
Seems easy, but after years it's more difficult. If you let it all slide, the relationship slides too.
EDIT one more thing - trust and be trusted. You have to be able to share your innermost thoughts with the other without fear of ridicule. When you completely bare your soul to the other (very difficult to do) you open yourself up for destruction. Many people never learn to do that with their spouse.
2007-03-12 05:56:59 · answer #5 · answered by Disco Stu 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1. have separate accounts. if you have a joint account...good. but don't let that be your only account. each partner needs to have his or her own account.
2. keep working. don't stop working just because you have children. you REALLY put yourself at your husbands will and mercy if you allow him to be the sole breadwinner. even moreso...if he decides to leave you (and this is after you stopped working and had children) he will leave you with nothing. if you have to take your hours down to part time...then fine. just don't stop working. your independence in this relationship is just as important as his.
3. this is an equal partnership. take away the unwritten rules of domestic chores. both of you participate in making the mess so both of you should help to clean it up. both of you eat, so both of you should cook and participate in shopping for the groceries.
4. if and when you do decide to have children...dont forget your husband. just because you have a baby doesn't mean that your entire world should revolve around that child. you were a wife first, then a mother second. always always ALWAYS try to make time for each other. even after the baby has arrived. set aside some time like every other week or ever week. because most relationships start to decline after the arrival of the first child. the husband and wife stop taking care of each other and devote their attention to the child. while children are demanding especially with they are newborn...it doesn't mean that you have to stop paying attentnion to each other. always find time for each other. even if you have to schedule it. or keep it simple like take out and blockbuster. ALWAYS find time for each other.
5. think outside of the box, especially regarding your partnership. just because you two are living together and beginning to plan your family doesn't mean that your relationship doesn't have to become stale and boring (like other couples that do the 'life script' thing). keep it exciting. keep it fun. keep laughing.
6. you can learn what not to do from just reading yahoo answers.
7. communication communicaiton communicaiton. part of the reason why so many marriages fail is because of lack of communication. also because people find out things after the ceremony that they could have discussed before hand. before you tie the knot (if it gets to that point) you need to write down a list of things that you need to discuss and understand.
2007-03-12 06:11:59 · answer #6 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am happily married and we always try to do stuff we did when we were dating - special places. Places we have good memories together.
Get out and fun together as a couple. Don't let things fall into a rut. Take little road trips and just do things together. Have date night or a date weekend! Trust me , it helps keep things lively!
Good luck!
2007-03-12 06:01:19 · answer #7 · answered by Ann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best advice given to me for my marriage was ...
no matter how mad you are, go to bed together.
It's good advice -- things seem not as bad in the morning when you wake up next to someone.
Otherwise, the best may be -- a good marriage is like a table: four bare legs and nothing on top.
2007-03-12 06:00:35 · answer #8 · answered by chrissy_lyn_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, marry before starting a family, that is giving your child he respect they deserve.
You should have basic rules of conduct, one no-brainer is that cheating is a deal breaker, no questions, no excuses, that will end the marriage. For me the same goes for drug use. We do not call each other names, EVER. We share the responsibilities of our home, earning money, budgeting, paying bills, that way there are not surprises (we both hate surprises).
Be honest about everything, no sneaking, lying, game playing. That is a very good start. If you wonder about something, talk to your spouse about it, do not stew.
2007-03-12 06:06:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My best advice for a fulfilling relationship is for the two people involved to agree to keep the lines of communication OPEN, and never to let anything or anyone else become a priority over keeping your home happy, and your loved one at the forefront on your to do list. (Don't forget to take care of yourself)
2007-03-12 06:02:49 · answer #10 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋