Forced C section.....any one else?

Question

Hello all! Im having a really hard time, i have no other choice but to have a c section as our baby is breech at 38 weeks... She just wont turn on her own, and the doc tried a version and there was just no room for her to turn around. ....
Well i ahve been having a very hard time as i always pictured giving my husband our baby through labor and am sad that i will never get to experience that. My hubby doesnt understand why i am so disappointed and upset that i dont get to go through labor...and to make matters worse ppl keep telling me how lucky i am to get to take the easy way out...by not having to be surprised when she comes and not having to go through labor. I GET VERY UPSET...has this happened to any one else? How did you cope?

Answer 1

First of all, Congratulations on the new baby!!
I am glad that you have a safe option for bringing your baby into the world, and that is the prime concern. (PS c section babies are beautiful, as they do not get the cone head of babies who go down the birth canal:))
Make your delivery as close to that you imagined as possible. If you have music picked out, bring it. If your husband is to be your coach, make sure he is with you. Bring your focus object, and your special pillow, get the special dinner if your hospital offers it. The trick is to have a special delivery experience that you can share with your child. My niece was a c section baby, (actually 4 of them were) and the stories of their births make them very happy. (eg short doctor who needed a step stool, or the excited dad who insisted on describing everything, and I do mean everything)
While it is not labor, it is still a very special experience, and you need to cherish it.

Answer 2

This is going to sound harsh and I don't mean it to by any means. You are looking at this from a purly emotional state, which being that your pregnant is a really topsy turvy state right now. You need to sit down and seriously think about this rationally. I have had 3 children, one was breech and had to have a c-section, the other two were vaginal. I am pregnant with twins and will have to have a c-section as the lowest one is breech and can't turn. I was a little upset at first, My husband has missed every single one of the births, he is in the military and has been deployed each and every time. I had this vision, of him rubbing my head and holding my hand and all that wonderful stuff. These are our last children, so he will never experience a regualr birth. You and your husband can have more children, and you should be thankful that he is even there. You need to look at all the positives, and how small the need to have a vaginal birth is when compared to everything else. First of all, if not the single most important thing, you must do this for the health of your baby. It is imperitive, secondly you must do this for the health of the babies mother. Your husband will be by your side, there are many women who don't have that joy, reasons like mine, and then some men who walk away and never look back. Enjoy the moment that you have with your husband. Enjoy that you have a baby, soooo many women can never have babies. My cousin-in-law just had to give birth to a still born at 16 weeks, a little baby boy, she can never ever have children. It was a horrific experience. She is devestated. You have the joy of being able to carry and give birth (no matter in what manner) to a beautiful baby. I know you are upset, but in this case, you really need to look at this logically, and from common sense approach, that way you can set your emotions to the side for a moment, to clear your head. I hope this helps and I hope you and your husband have a wonderful experience no matter how it happens. Also if you are so focused on the negative, you won't be able to experience this birth in the positive light that it should be. Try to see all the postivies, to make it positive. Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

I went into labor on my own, made it to 8 cm, and spent my entire birthday (my daughter and I share a birthday) 8cms and having strong contractions. Then, my daughters heart beat stopped and they had to do a c-sections, and yes, I was disappointed. I wanted to give birth the "normal" way. I'll be honest with you, I was upset for a long while afterwards, but looking back, I am thrilled that they did the c-section, because my daughter is here, and healthy, and that is the only way she could get to my husband and I without problems. And let me tell you, if people tell you it's the "easy way" they are lying. There is just as much, if not more recovery time from a C-section (I'm not trying to scare you..it's not as bad as I thought it would be, and you'll be just fine). People who have had a C-section know what I am talking about. Anyone who tries to make you feel like any less of a woman for having a c-section is just trying to make themselves feel like more of a woman, Childbirth is not a competition. It's the most profound, moving moment in your life when you first see that little baby you and your husband created, wither you give birth vaginally, or by C-section, so enjoy it, and count down the moments until you get to hold your daughter. Congratulations!

Answer 4

It doesn't make you any more of a woman just because you have contractions and go through labor! Your labor will come after the baby when you are walking around with your stomach sliced open, and you have to feel the pain and burning of stitches every time you bend over to change a diaper. No matter how you do it, having a baby is hard work! I know I can't change your mind, but after your baby is two months old, you will see I am right. Until then, all I can say is men will never be truly sympathetic to anything involving pregnancy and labor, until they realize they might lose you, and have to do the whole thing alone!

Answer 5

It is completly normal to be upset about it. I am the same way as you. My husband missed our 1st childs birth and I had him vaginally. Well our 2nd decided she wanted to be breech as while which meant c-section. Well since now were I live they really don't allow VBAC's I have to have c-sections. So my 2nd and 3rd babies were delivered by c-section. But I still wish that my husband was able to see what a vaginally birth is like. But my husband always say.." It's doesn't matter how they came out, the only thing that mattered was they came out HEALTHY." I just usually leave it at that. Because you know what that is all that matters.

But I do see how you can be disappointed..Good Luck..

Answer 6

I had a similar experience. Don't be disappointed because a C-section is major surgery. You will feel proud and get to share the experience with other mommies that have had a boring/vaginal delivery. Just be glad that you won't have to do any of the work! And girl, you are wrong-Your husband will be able to hold the baby once baby is delivered in the operating room, He will also get to cut the cord! (he must wear the suit and facemask and all that...) So just understand that a c-section is for the strong girls, like you!

Answer 7

My sister had an emergency c section, after pushing for 11 hours because the baby was to big. She, too, was very upset. Her first baby and all; She was VERY upset that everyone else got to hold him first, while she was wheeled off to be stitched up. I strongly recommend that it just be you and hubby until you are out of recovery and you have each gotten the chance to bond with baby. I know it's hard, but she will be here soon; and you'll forget all about this. Natural labor is still an option in the future, don't forget that! Congrats new mommy! Your daughter is coming soon!

Answer 8

My daughter was an emergency Csection and my 2 sons were scheduled Csections. While the birthing experience wasn't the "natural" way ... All i was concerned with was the end result ... a healthy baby :) Your husband will be in the OR with you and can still cut the cord and hold the baby right away. Don't let it get you down ... A Cesetion is probably the safest way to be sure of a safe and healthy birth ...for both you and your new baby! Congrats!!!

Answer 9

The easy way out? Hmm i don't think so, yes it is true you won't have to lay in labor for hours but the pain of a c-section is far more worse than a vaginal delivery (From so many women that have told me)

I had a c-section with my one and only child. I was 21 when i had him and the entire time i was hoping for a c-section cause i did not want anything coming out of me down there. (seem strange) Anyhow i got my wish. I didn't and don't feel any less of a mother just because of how my son was born.

You are not being forced to have a c-section...You have to have one or you will die because there is no way of you having a breech baby.
My son was also breech. I was not scared of having a c-section. It is very painful but it doesn't last forever.

You can ask to be awake during your c-section if you want to be and you will get to see your baby right then and so will your husband.
I however wanted to be knocked out during my c-section cause i did not want to be awake knowing i was getting cut opened. Be happy that you are able to have a child as some people can't. Who cares how it gets here as long as it gets here healthy.

Answer 10

You are not taking the easy way out. You'll have much more pain and recuperating to endure. Also, just because you have a c-section once doesnt mean your next pregnancy has to be via cesarian. There are many doctors who will allow you to have natural birth the next time. Just be happy that no matter how you give birth, your baby will be healthy.