I'm not men-bashing, it's personal and I would like to know the feelings behind it.
2007-03-12 05:38:38 · 12 answers · asked by Bud's Girl 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In this case, I meant that the woman still wants her children to see their dad; they're broken-hearted without him.
2007-03-12 05:56:21 · update #1
they should not..
they should share custody and responsibility..
the same goes for moms to
2007-03-12 05:44:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
All too often, children become a pawn in a game controlled by the parent who has custody. Some loving fathers don't want to do that to their children, and so they graciously bow out. Sometimes it isn't really something that the mother wants to do, but it happens anyway, and the father doesn't want to start down that road.
Take, for example, my cousins. My uncle's wife divorced him, and almost immediately had custody. It also worked out that he was still paying the mortgage (on the house his ex wife was living in), child support, and alimony at that time. That didn't count rent on his own apartment or food. So of course he was working a lot of overtime. But if his overtime ended up meaning that he was ten minutes late to pick up the kids, then it was too late, he couldn't have them. And if she dropped them off, then she also picked them up... two to three hours early. Ever seen the movie Mrs. Doubtfire? The same kind of thing was happening (except without the alimony and mortgage) at the beginning of that. It happens alot. And the kids get told "He couldn't ever be bothered to take you," or "He was always too busy." And that turns it into a competition for the kids' affection and time. Things get out of hand in a hurry.
2007-03-12 05:58:38 · answer #2 · answered by Sean J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The courts favor mom over dad. It is a sexual bias that many of us wonderful, loving fathers suffer. Also, in more cases than need be (like mine), mom bashes dad until the children don't want to see him. This hurts, but will not change any time soon.
2007-03-12 05:46:50 · answer #3 · answered by voodooprankster 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It has been my observation that once a wife becomes an ex, she becomes a b-i-t-c-h. She wants to live better than she did when she was married and have complete control of the kids while daddy just foots the bill. In defense the man has to walk away (always with hopes that when the kids grow up and away from mommy he can reunite) for his own sanity. He can deal with the ex's B S only so much.
2007-03-12 05:44:52 · answer #4 · answered by lily 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's because they would be fighting a losing battle, against a woman who bashes him to everyone, kids to blame him (because they live with their mother), and a society in general that believes that children need their mother more than their father. It is too difficult to try to maintain those relationships in many cases.
EDIT back to you: they often SAY that but they make it SO difficult. Planning their kids lives to the nth degree and then making it difficult for the fathers to get in there. Look at divorced women you know - most of them are TERRIBLE and mean to their ex-husbands, no matter why.
My mother left my father 15 years ago and it's almost impossible to talk to her without her bad-mouthing him.
2007-03-12 05:43:00 · answer #5 · answered by Disco Stu 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It may be that the ex-wife has primary custody and won't let him see the children. I doubt any loving father would ever walk away from his children.
Men get the hose a lot when it comes to custody.
2007-03-12 05:49:17 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children are a joy but they are also a lot of work. If being with them means communicating with the woman who gave up on you after you both swore to spend the rest of your lives supporting one another, it may just be too painful to make it worth the time spent with the kids.
2007-03-12 06:02:51 · answer #7 · answered by Martin Pedersen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suspect for some, it's very painful to have the woman you love leave and your child taken from you only because you are a man.
Perhaps he was replaced with another man.
I'm not saying it's the right response. I fight to have more time with my daughter.
But my divorce hurt like hell, and I don't believe we had any issues that couldn't be worked out.
However, she thought that changing men would solve her issues. She is probably finding out that is not true.
2007-03-12 05:42:52 · answer #8 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
In our case, he was a good guy, but he started using drugs, so I left with our daughter, dog, cat, & all the clothes we could fit in the car. He became a "born-again" Christian, which was the other extreme. At least we could talk again.
2007-03-12 06:45:24 · answer #9 · answered by shermynewstart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could not walk away of my son ever. I am in a divorce and newhere in the world she would run and hide I would find her ***!
2007-03-12 07:08:38 · answer #10 · answered by dirbe22 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they feel that whenever they are with their kids, they will see their ex-wife and it will be uncomfortable.
i grew up without a father. he'd see me like once-twice a year at most and would mail like 100-200 dollars a month for me and my mom.
2007-03-12 05:41:18 · answer #11 · answered by John Becker 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋