My boyfriend is really out of shape and all he does is sit at the computer and eat junk food. He hates veggies and exercising. He refuses to go walking with me. I am worried he might get diabetes. I don't think he realizes he is out of shape. How do I tell him with out hurting his feelings?
2007-03-12 05:23:47 · 21 answers · asked by Ambie 3 in Health ➔ Men's Health
It is a really hard thing to do to let someone know that their looks and health may be out of whack. What you could do first is to gently talk to him - turn off the TV, sit together in the living room and let him know you'd like to have a serious talk with him. Start out by telling him that you are talking to him because you love him and want the very best for him. Tell him that you care about his health and you would like to see him try to get healthier. Offer to go on a diet and exercise with him. Have the both of you two go grocery shopping together so you can pick healthy options, but both of you have a say in what to buy. Remember, while you are saying this to him, do not sound condescending, do not raise your voice, do not make it sound like you are nagging him. Make him think that you would like to embark on a healthy road with him together. And also let him know that it hurts YOU that he eats junk food and doesn't get outside and get some sun. Tell him it is killing you to think that he might get really sick with diabetes. And as you are telling him this, do not make him feel overly guilty. Just gently let him know that you care.
Now let's hope that this works. If he seems adament about taking better care of himself, then perhaps the time has come to pair up with a guy who is on the same page as you are in terms of being healthy and living life.
Good luck!!
2007-03-12 05:37:03 · answer #1 · answered by lanibear55 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Con him into exercising with you! Make him be on top when you have sex, or with hold sex from him if he doesn't go for a walk with you, or eat a vegetable a day. Let him know you are concerned for his health. If you let him know you are doing this out of love, he should understand that it is in his best interest to lose the weight, and get more into shape. If you cook, then cook meals that are healthy, and taste good at the same time. If the two of you eat out a lot, then make sure you go out to places that are healthier alternatives.
Go golfing instead of going to a movie! Go hiking instead of going out to eat. Go to a park and have a picnic. Go boating! Go biking in the metro parks! Get up and do something active. Play tennis! Play tag! Go swimming. There are a lot of things couples can do that don't cost money! Good luck!
2007-03-12 12:32:43 · answer #2 · answered by asya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to get rid of all the junk food in the house and substitute them with some healthy snacks such as soy chips, veggie chips or even just baked snacks and just fat free snacks, even put the snacks in another container so he doesn't even know that they are fat free. Lay's makes alot of baked snacks like baked potato chips and doritos. Start out with snacks like that because they taste just as good as potato chips and are half the fat. Suggest some fun activities that you can do together whether it would be walking in the park, mini golf, or the beach. Even just going to a theme park is fun and yet you are still walking around. Mention to him that you want to eat healthier just so it will hopefully get him into eating healthy as well. Also just be plain honest with him. Tell him that you are starting to feel less attractive towards him. Maybe than he will realize that he needs to make changes in his life.
2007-03-12 12:35:09 · answer #3 · answered by Metal Chick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get real. He knows he's out of shape. You do not need to tell him. It is HIS life. Nagging kills faster than being out of shape! Being nagged is a major stress. You can't live his life for him. Accept him the way he is or get out of his life.
If you feel you have to improve him, then you are the one with the problem, not your bf. There is no way of saying that you don't accept him the way he is that will not be hurtful, stressful, and cruel. Please live your life the way you want to and stop trying to live his as well. You only get one life, and, listen up, his is not it.
2007-03-12 14:15:54 · answer #4 · answered by Maple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like disaster waiting to happen.
The idea of motivating without hurting feelings is difficult. Not hurting people's feelings seems to be the bromide of our times. Western society needs to get rid of this mentality. If he really loves you, he can take the criticism. Keep him on his toes!
However, I'd advise, trying alittle more motivation before you pursue any honesty that will render hurt feelings. Play inspirational music for him (i.e. Rocky soundtrack, Stan Bush's greatest hits, etc..) Email him inspirational quotes, put em' on the bottom of all the emails you write to him. When all is said and done, if it doesn't work, you need to seriously assess the situation and ask yourself if you really want to be with the guy. You shouldn't be wasting each other's time.
2007-03-12 13:02:17 · answer #5 · answered by sirtitan45 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him your concerns and shop healthy. Don't have snacks laying around. I too used to be in great shape adn always athletic until I got older and it got harder to get a group of guys to play ball. I put on weight and...became a diabetic. It's running rampent in our country as you probably know and those sufferign are getting younger and younger.
2007-03-12 12:28:16 · answer #6 · answered by father of 4 husband of 1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of something active that he will be interested in (joining a gym, etc.).. Then , tell him that you think it would be fun to do this thing together. Involve his interests, and get in shape together. That way, you are not attacking him, but suggesting that you both find a healthy way to spend quality time together.
2007-03-12 12:30:09 · answer #7 · answered by mimiluv80 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably the best thing you can do is rant and rave about how good you feel when you work out. You can tell him that you want him to feel his best like you. Mabey he'll come around then.
Just don't push him because you'll just PUSH HIm AWAY MORE.
Good luck!
2007-03-12 12:31:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does he refuse to go walking with you? Ask him...maybe he feels he's out of shape but doesn't feel comfortable admitting it. Careful with his feelings, boost his confidence in other areas and keep encouraging him to move!
2007-03-12 12:27:30 · answer #9 · answered by Eek 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are some instances where the hurt cannot be avoided. Whatever you say will hurt him, so you have to have something fill the void.
2007-03-12 12:42:27 · answer #10 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋