Do you ever feel guilty of being a fake person who uses others?

Question

I hate that feeling. IT is just that when I am in the business of the day, I sometimes use "charm" or friendliness and being "nice" to help get what I need to get done during the day and afterwards feel fake and like I just "use " people.
What about you?

Answer 1

Nothing wrong with using rapport to get things done, that is a great skill to have. It is only bad when you use it at others expense such as intimidating people and bullying. The latter will get you disliked.

Answer 2

Why on earth would I feel guilty of "charming" people you see the thing is I am not fake and can spot it a mile away so my answer is no.

You can "charm" people and get what you need very easily you just have to believe in yourself. As long as you are doing good then it's no problem.

Answer 3

I think everyone uses these methods to make their day a bit easier. I like to call it "friendly manipulation". One could also look at it this way: good communication and deescalation abilities. Who wants a person to ream them a new a**hole anyway, and ruin the morning causing you to be in a foul mood or stressed out?
Besides, don't you think those people are aware of that? I think they just enjoy having someone "charm" them. For all you know, that innocent ego stroke made their day. As long as you are not being nasty or evil, go on with your bad self! Charm away!!

Answer 4

It is possible that you don't have a rounded understanding of what you are doing, as opposed to using people. Start with obtaining an understanding of what is good to all people. If you are always acting truly on what is the central good to all, and you work for peace, this bad feeling begins to be the view that comes from disrespect. When you see that some people disrespect good, you know that the majority of people aren't that way. Then you know who the users are. Users become losers, because they can not obtain what is good.

Answer 5

I have felt like that at work before, but sometimes that's your job, most people understand 'cause the majority of us have had to do it at some point. If you're being fake with your friends it's a different thing though, remember when your teacher told you if you cheated in a test you're just cheating yourself? If you're being fake with your friends then you're being fake to yourself, it means they're not your friends, they're friends with the 'fake you'.

Answer 6

i'd guess that relies upon on what i necessary finished. ... i'd experience a lot less like a person if i used my charm to get a stapler or some submit-its, than if i used it to get someone to create a 16 slide presentation on very last quarter's sale's figures due the following day.

Answer 7

Heck no. Not if you're doing it for just reasons. What about an interrogator who is faking things to get out information of a suspect? This is only one example.

Answer 8

this is the natural order of life,everyone is two faced at some point,it doesnt make you a bad person its just work,i work in a supermarket and customers come in and waffle on about crap like i give a **** and i smile and agree blah blah,im not being nasty but i dont care if mildred your next door nieghbour reccomened the steaks and theyre really nice i dont care.!!!

Answer 9

UGH! my ex roomate was like this..she needed hairspray, soap, food, drugs, anything..she'd call different friends for. she used me to get my apartment, i have a son and a limited income and a fabulous place by chance and she made it so id have to move. she wrote me a note saying she planned the whole thing. shes 26 now living with a 17 year old boy who is a bum. im SO glad im gone. i would say to stop this behaviour before you end up a loser like my old roomate. its good that you have a conscience that makes you feel bad, your brain is telling you to STOP!!

Answer 10

i do sumtimes but then i dont feel guilty after Lol