2007-03-12 05:18:41 · 13 answers · asked by Pam W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Do as my mother in law did. just walk away. she would take money and set it aside each payday until she had enough to leave and then she moved away from the town they lived in.All tough they now live in the same town she is happy and he is remarried and happy.
2007-03-12 05:23:41 · answer #1 · answered by furby_lost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just do it. I got away from my jerk after 19 years of marriage and it took 1 year for the divorce to be final. We were therefore married for 20 years before the divorce was final. It's hard to do this, but you have to take that step if you know it is the right thing to do.
First, make sure you have a good support system in place such as family, friends or a church or other social support group. You are going to need it once you get things going.
Make sure you are documenting things that show reasons why this guy is a jerk. If he is abusive or mean, if he treats you poorly, whatever - write it down and don't let him see it. You could write it as a Word document, then send yourself an e-mail with your document as an attachment. Then go back and delete the Word document from your computer so that he can't see it. This way when you need it, you can print the document from your e-mail.
Third, consult an attorney. If you can't afford one, go to the county courthouse and ask the Family Law clerk for a list of attorneys or referral phone numbers. There are many attorneys who will work on a sliding fee scale or reduced fees for those who can't afford it. An attorney will be able to not only help you with leaving this guy, but will give you the tools and strength you need to do it without being harmed too much in the process. Many people don't realize what their legal rights are and will believe the threats or lies of the other person. Talk to an attorney. They can help you. Sometimes you can call a legal referral service in your area and talk to one for free over the phone just to find out what you need to do or how likely your chances are of succeeding if you take certain legal steps.
Finally, be strong. Take the people you have chosen to support you and leave the guy. If you don't have anyone, then do it anyway. Get the things that mean the most to you and go somewhere. Get away. Stay firm in your stance. If he tries to win you back, don't give in unless you see that he is willing to change. Only the test of time will reveal whether or not a jerky individual really has changed. Don't go back to him until he has passed that test. Sometimes a person will say what they know you want to hear in order to get you back and then when you go back, they will go back to treating you like they did before.
One more thing I forgot: if you have children involved, make sure that you take their needs into account first and foremost. I didn't leave my husband because I thought it would hurt my kids. Truth is, I have full custody now of both kids and they are happier now than they were when I was married to their father. They had a rough road due to the divorce, but they are now healing just fine. It is far worse to keep kids in a home where there is fighting and disrespect that they will learn to repeat in their own lives, than to take them away from that situation and watch them have to heal from the pain of divorce. Whatever you do, don't bad-mouth their father to them. Right or wrong, he is their parent. They have the right to feel good about both parents, and it actually hurts kids to put them in the middle of feeling like they have to choose which parent to love. Hang in there. I'm sorry you are having to go through this. It will be tough. You will have a lot of stress. If you know that leaving this guy is the right decision however, then you will all be happier in the long run.
2007-03-12 05:43:18 · answer #2 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a long time being married. If you worked out your differences then, why not now. I am sure he just didn't become a jerk over night. If you really and truly don't want to be with him anymore talk it out with him and let him know how you feel and your thinking about ending the relationship. Life is too short to be unhappy. If you want out you don't need any advice you will just leave him. I know I did.
2007-03-12 05:24:39 · answer #3 · answered by Jamonican 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU take control of YOUR life. If you dont want to be unhappy, do something about it. File for divorce, leave, move on, make yourself a new life full of happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy, including you.
2007-03-12 05:27:09 · answer #4 · answered by mirageoflove34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leaving and getting a divorce is probably the easiest way.
2007-03-12 05:22:27 · answer #5 · answered by Bluebellringy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump the feeling of inadequacy and if you're feeling like you can't make it on your own... get the mindset of it's time to move on, then start making it happen... maybe you can leave, maybe it will be an ugly divorce... you don't list details...
pack what you need and go
2007-03-12 05:23:43 · answer #6 · answered by bilko_ca 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can tell you what can happen if you don't do this! It just gets worse and worse. I finally lost everything... house, car, job, etc. So, my advice, if you know the ship is sinking, get off the damn boat!
2007-03-12 05:22:27 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for divorce.
2007-03-12 05:21:04 · answer #8 · answered by notyou311 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
cheat on him with his brother( if he doesnt have a brother then go for the nearest neighbor). that will teach him to stop being a jerk
2007-03-12 05:23:48 · answer #9 · answered by 8287327368723 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
go on jeremey kyle hes sure to sort out all your problems and if he cant the wonderful graham is always on hand to offer some much needed support
2007-03-12 05:23:39 · answer #10 · answered by simon r 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋