Ok I'm pregnant, 12 weeks now. And I'm I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years about a month ago because I noticed that I wasnt as happy with him as I used to be. And he had been doing some really stupid things right before like, He had quit his job because he didnt like to go in everyday, he started drink double what he used too, he started hang out with old friends of his that did alot of drugs and started doing drugs himself. I really couldnt stand it anymore so I broke up with him. Since I broke up with him hasnt changed and cries all the time over me. I still love him(the old him) but not the person he has turned into.
Just the other night he got drunk and walked out of a friends house and dissappeared for the whole night till the next afternoon. I was worried and had helped my friends try to find him. When we found him to asked to talk to me I said ok and we went into the other room and he started this whole 'I will change if you get back with me'. I dont know what to do???
2007-03-12 05:12:45 · 13 answers · asked by halfdemonrenilia 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Also he ended up kissing me and it made me uncomfortable.
2007-03-12 05:13:35 · update #1
He was the second person to find out. The frist was my best friend who was nice enough to buy me the test and then go with me to the doctors to do a second test.
2007-03-12 07:00:59 · update #2
Girl I know exactly what your going through. My situation is a little different though. I would not go back to him. If you want to get back with him, then do it but dont do it until he changes and gets help. You have to see some progress in him. They always say they'll change and go back to there same ways after they get what they want. And they dont change just over night. It will take weeks and weeks. If you arent happy with him than its good you called it quits. You have to do what is right for you and your baby. You cant have someone in your life who doesnt want to work everyday and party. You are pregnant and will be a mother and you will change alot. Im 31 weeks and my whole everything has changed. I just dont think the same as I used to. I wish you the best of luck with your pregnancy. hope that you stay happy and healthy. If you need someone to talk to email me at courtney.armer@yahoo.com
2007-03-12 05:25:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are going through something like this, I can only imagine how hard it must be for you! I think you should just stay the way you are right now, and have him come to the appointments... tell him he has to change before you can even consider going back to him... 3 years is a lot to throw away, and if this all recently started it could change. My now husband boyfriend at the time changed when I was pregnant, he got very scared, and did things he didn't do before... he said he just didn't know what to do because he wasn't sure if he would be able to support the baby and me... Then when we had the sonogram he cried and couldn't be happier! That was the day he changed back into the man I fell in love with. He went out, and I thought he was doing something he most likely shouldn't of but he came home with baby girl clothes... and one said Daddy's princess... ever since he has been the best father, and husband! It is not a pass to do what he is doing, but he might change when he sees the baby! It s truly remarkable, and if he doesn't, you can do it on your own... you seem very strong! I wish you the best, and I think he will change... Congratz on the precious little one!!
2007-03-12 12:33:36 · answer #2 · answered by giannamarie1209 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like maybe he got freaked out by the idea of becoming a Daddy! Maybe he was trying to do all the things he thought he wont be able to do anymore? Some guys have like a midlife crisis or something when they have their first kid. Whatever the reason, you are going to have the baby in a few months & need to be prepaired. You can't let him be around you if he's doing drugs & acting like that. You are much better off on your own, doing whats right for you & the baby, a Daddy is important, but not if he's doing all the wrong things for you & the baby. If he is really going to change & grow up & help you, then he needs to show you that first. Don't fall for the " I'll change if you take me back, I promise" crap! He needs to change first! You have to do whats best for your baby now & making sure your baby has a safe enviroment & safe people around is very important. You can't put yourself or him ahead of the baby, the baby has to come first from now on. Don't let him confuse you, you know what you have to do & are trying to do that, he knows what he should be doing to, but he isn't even trying to do it, instead he's only worried about himself & wants you to make him feel better. What kind of Father is that? You have to keep a clear head now & don't let your emotions mix you up & cause you to make the wrong choices! Good Luck!!!!
2007-03-12 12:46:26 · answer #3 · answered by Sherrie L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So is this baby his baby?
How old are you?
You should just avoid him no matter what the anserws are to those questions some one like that is nothing but trouble and you have to think about your baby, your not going to have a baby you already have a baby and ask your self if you want your child to see that type of stuff all the time. I know it must be hard to imagine not seeing him or talking to him but it is possible and it has to be done. Also you dont really sound all that concerned or even excited to be pregnant you sound like all you care about is the drama this guy causes and being in it almost like your enjoying your self. You have only 6 mnths to grow up and get ready.
2007-03-12 12:20:03 · answer #4 · answered by cuetee220 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people DO change.
How old is he?
If he is younger than 25, then yes, he could change, but you have to have your standards.
It is up to you. I would say that if he starts working again, and doesn't drink ANYTHING or use ANY drugs, then stay with him, but I personally wouldn't want to stick around long enough to find out.
Clearly the guy is stressed out, but he needs to be extra-responsible now more than ever.
Think about your past history withhim. Has he done this before? Empty promises? If so, leave him and don't look back.
2007-03-12 12:47:18 · answer #5 · answered by gg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you know what to do and are already doing it!
Putting your foot down and letting him know he has to change before he has a second chance is the first step.
He has to prove to you that he's worth being with. There's nothing i hate more than a man that will not work and thinks hanging with his boys is more important than family.
By staying away from him, it's showing him your serious and not playing games.
If he truly loves you and wants to be a good family man than he'll get his act together. Anyone can change but only if they want to.
As for now think about your self and this baby, he's grown let him worry about him self.
2007-03-12 12:30:16 · answer #6 · answered by Curious J. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him not to contact you until after the baby is born. You cannot put yourself through all that stress and drama while you are pregnant. Things like that cause miscarriages. Just worry about you and your baby right now... and worry about that boy later. The baby is obviously not a priority in his life right now... but it is yours.. so let him be until you can deal with him. If he's right for you let him do a little learning these next months and see if he comes around. If not... you're better off without him. Tell him about the child support you plan on slapping him in the face with, too.
2007-03-12 12:28:10 · answer #7 · answered by ms.pontes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest hun he sounds exactly like my ex, they never change they might for a few weeks but then it all goes back to normal and in the end your friends and famliy get tired of the situation. I went back to my ex just before xmas and now im pregnant again,we are no longer together and he is still a drug takin t***. Be strong i wish id of stayed away, trust me an ex is an ex for a reason.....hope all works out
2007-03-12 12:25:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he know that you're pregnant? He doesn't sound very mature. If he can't handle a relationship, keep a job and stay sober I don't think he'll be able to handle being a father. I think you should tell him about the baby and see if he decides to grow up a little. But you don't have to be with him for the two of you to raise your child. You have more than just yourself to think about now.
2007-03-12 12:26:12 · answer #9 · answered by ky032102 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would definetly not get back together with him until he can prove that he really wants to change. he can't change just to make you happy..he needs to change because he really wants to change for himself to make himself a better person. I would explain to him how you feel. If he kissed you and it made you uncomfortable then obviously something isn't right between you guys. He really needs to change his habits if hes going to be a dad and right now..hes not going to be a good dad unless he does change. Good luck with everything and i hope it works out. Ive been in this situation so..i know how hard it can be.
2007-03-12 12:21:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋