Do you think violent men can change??

Question

Do you think that a man that has shown violence to his partner once or twice can change? I tend to think not in the majority of cases, what about you in your experience?

Answer 1

I think they only get better at fooling people. It may be possible that after they have destroyed other peoples lives with their anger, they may mellow out when they get really old and lose their strength to hurt people. If they haven't totally isolated themselves from other people by then, they will probably resort to mental abuse instead.

Answer 2

I've never personally see anyone change. A person that is abusive will pretty much never change, and even if they don't hit/yell at their partner, they usually find other ways of being destructive.

Showing violence once or twice is a trap that many women fall into because they think it won't happen again...and it always does. It makes me so sad, but it is true that for those kinds of relationships the only thing to do is to get out. They can get dangerous quickly; one of the top situations in which police officers get killed is actually domestic disputes, and I'm sure abusive husbands make up a good part of that.

Also, I don't remember where I heard this, but men who are abusive tend to show it in small ways at first before unleashing real violence after a while. So a couple incidents of violence could escalate in a couple of years.

Answer 3

I've personally dealt with abusive men, two of them; my father and an ex boyfriend. They were both emotionally abusive and the ex tried to be physically abusive. With cases in abuse or viloence, people do not change. It took me until I was 30 to finally tell my father not to talk to me the way he did; and honestly; it stopped him completely (but I had therapy which resolved those issues =) ). The ex boyfriend, I dated him for two years and in the second year I lived with him and with that six months I saw his true colors; so I got my ducks in a row an d moved out; realizing I didn't have to put up with his or anyone else's abusive tone; I was 21 at the time =) I'm 35 today =) Those were two great life lessons and they taught me what kind of behavior I'll tolerate and how easy it is to be done with someone who has those traits =) Keep me posted if you're in a similar situation; I'll be glad to help if I can =)

Answer 4

If a violent man admits he has a problem with domestic abuse and seeks out a Batterer's Intervention Program he might change. If he is mandated by the court to take a program, he may change. Domestic abuse is not appropriately treated in therapy, anger management or in couples counceling. It is not caused by alcohol or drugs, stress or by the victim. It is cause by the beliefs that the man has about women and their place in society and culture. Once the beliefs are challenged and replaced with healthier beliefs he may change. Domestic abuse is not caused by abusive childhoods or mental illness but they may exacerbate the behavior. I certified Batterer's Intervention Program can help but there is never a guarantee that a man will never become violent again. To find one, contact the Department of Corrections or a local Women's Crisis Center. They should have the appropriate information.

Answer 5

I have never went through anything like that, so I can't support my imput with my own experience. I believe a man who has shown violence to his partner at least once cannot change. However, they can learn to control their violence if they are willing to.

Answer 6

Any man can change with the right medication. The question is do you want a man that is doped up and at his core still violent or do you want a man that is not violent and sober. I have seen a violent person who missed a couple of days of their medication and hurt their woman pretty bad. So I suggest to you the same thing I did to those ladies, get out while the getting is good.

Answer 7

i have been married for 24 years and have watched three of the people in m y husbands family go from being violent to not. MY father in law was a very violent man. my brother in law was and is no more.My husband was abusive when we first got married and he has not touched me in over 15years so yea i think some men can change it all depends on how strongly they want it and how much they want there marriage or relationship.There are three generations of a family that all changed. and for the better I might add.

Answer 8

well for me from my experience,he will never change once you have allowed it once. I have had a mate that verbally abused me then started hitting me because I got tired of the verbal abuse and listened to him saying he was sorry it will never happen again. That was a lie. I remember when I was seven and I watch by dad stompt my mother with his shoes on in the head her eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out. the ambulance came and took her to the hospital then
my dad came over and apologized to me and my sister. The years rolled a round for about 4 years then we moved into a better neiborhood then about 4 months into our new place it happened again this time I was older, and I reacted in a violent manner and picked up a bat a started beating my dad. He never hit my mother after that, but his verbal abuse towards my mother was never ending. Now my man wants to hit on me in front of my daughter and I don't want her to think that this is alright. I fought back and call BWA and it's over with. Never let a man hit you or verbally abuse you. He is not a man but a coward. Now I have a son who is 32 and I watched him stompt my socalled man and it was ugly. Get away from that man a never look back. Never He Will Hit Again.

Answer 9

no, i do not believe that an abusive man can change....he will say that he has or is willing to try, but in the long run, it's just a never ending cycle. I was with this one guy and the abuse started once I become preg. he considered me to be his.....he would jack me up against a wall, hit me, punch me, smack me...and it was worse when he would drink. Yes, I did leave, but then b/c we were having a child, I went back thinking he would change...he didn't. it only got worse when I was preg with our second child. someone like that will never change and shouldn't be given a second chance.

Answer 10

First, do no longer take him back. He might substitute yet he won't with a individual whom he has violated interior the previous. With you, that's going to be that have of the previous that's ingrained, plus residing that out interior the dominent function with you that he would be no longer able to stand as much as. As to others, that's a very complicated question. We, as a human beings seem to no longer see the noses in front of our faces while the venture of peace or violence is the venture. Violence begets violence. The Chain is purely about constantly unbroken.