My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years - living together for 3 years. I have a 9 yr. old son from someone else who my boyfriend absolutely loves and treats as his own. We are very compatible - hobby wise, but have developed a huge debt together and have had a few stepbacks in our relationship (with his friends, drugs, money).
I'm starting to feel as though we're never going to be married - there's never any talk about it, no talk of having a child together (and I'm pushing 32 - he's 28). We never fight, never have serious talks, just seem to be living day by day. Do you think our debt could why we're still together - we're trapped until it's paid off? OR is this just the way most guys live...comfortable being common-law and if you don't have any issues to talk about than everything must be ok?
2007-03-12 05:11:34 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Girl! Don't sell yourself so cheaply! So what if you have debt. Married people have debt. If he really wanted to commit to you, he'd march you down to the county recorder's office and marry you for less than $100 (in CA anyway). Marriage is just a legally binding agreement on the two of you. It doesn't mean that he'll love you any more or any less. Getting married isn't going to solve anything and will only change your tax status, really. If you're in love, super but that isn't a prerequisite for marriage. If I were you, I'd work on my debt as my first priority and worry about getting married later. It's so minimal, seriously.
2007-03-12 05:19:40 · answer #1 · answered by answerguru 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should be having a conversation with him. Ask him if marriage and having children is what he sees in the near future or not.
Debt or no debt shouldn't be the main reason and a simple marriage document will not put you further in debt, if it's done cheaply. A marriage document is nothing more than a legal document showing the government, family, friends and God that you are committed to each other, for life. Your common-law anyways, does a piece of paper really matter.
After being together for many years, married people have less to talk about, it's not that the love is gone. It just means they are comfortable being there and the constant chatter is not necessary. If there was a problem, then they would just stop coming home, do anything to avoid going home or start fights over anything.
A piece of paper rarely means a thing these day (divorce), be sure your entering marriage for the right reasons.
2007-03-12 05:48:48 · answer #2 · answered by trojan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
properly, what he did grew to become into no longer precisely "primary"... one element is to run into an "previous buddy" and spend it slow catching up, and yet another is to be making secret plans in strengthen and mendacity relating to the entire element. I propose, in case you will possibly be able to desire to lie, you realize something's no longer stunning approximately what you're doing. Why do the element that isn't stunning? i do no longer blame you for being ticked off.
2016-10-18 04:48:59 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only you know the answers here. Personally, I would hate to think that your son is in a relationship that is not permanent.
2007-03-12 05:19:10 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i would say he is probably just comfortable where he is. if you want to get married to him why not ask him. no one says you have to wait for him to ask you.. best of luck and let us know how it turns out
2007-03-12 05:21:38 · answer #5 · answered by simplyme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You hooked up with a baby get use to it mother
2007-03-12 05:30:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋