Humiliation?

Question

My Husband tottally humiliated me to a person who is ripping him off into buying Oil shares. Reason being: I tried in my
"tinpot" way to intervene by passing my opinions voicibly whilst he was answering her telephone call. Unknown to me he declined her offer and she then called him later & he said he had changed his mind & the reason he had declined was because of his "WIFE"!!! I overheard and am furious not to say feel let down and humiliated. He says I am wrong! Please may I have your opinion. Thanks.

Answer 1

He told the truth and you should be happy he did not go against him. Tell the truth and remember you are partners and lovers.

Answer 2

I think you both did something wrong:

He should not have say that. But you shouldn’t have sneak into that problem as you did. Instead, you should have talk to him like adults, and explain your concerns. Talking we humans can understand each other, right?

Of course, he was wrong saying things the way he did, and he is being a “chicken” by not confronting the problem and just blaming on you that he changed his mind… what mind?? Apparently not his…

But hey, don’t be humiliated. If I was the person on the other side if the phone, I would have thought: “he is blaming his wife?? Can’t he just say he is not interested or that he thinks is not a good idea and be over with it? I’m glad I am not doing business with this idiot”.

So you see, he is the one that probably got humiliated… by himself!

Talk to him, and set things right. I’m sure he knows better than that. And you do too.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I don't think I would be upset. He apparently values your opinion, or else he just used your advice to not buy as an easy way to turn her down. If the "person who is ripping him off" is a salesperson you will never see again in your life, what is the big deal? If someone asked me to invest in something, I wouldn't hesitate to use my husband's opinion as my reason for not investing. To say to this person, "No, I've decided not to buy shares because of my wife" isn't really a slam against you. It just shows that he actually listens to your opinion, which is a compliment, in my estimation.

Maybe I don't have the whole picture here: like if this person who is ripping him off is a friend or someone you both know, and he sort of gripingly said, "well, you know my wife, I can't do ANYTHING without her say-so" that would be wrong. If he has a problem with your input, he should say so to YOU and no one else. But in a phone conversation with a salesperson, he may just have meant he wasn't interested in buying anyway, and used you as an excuse. I think you should talk to him and find out what he really thinks. And don't jump to conclusions about him...he may not have meant it the way it sounded.

Personally, I don't mess in the business part of things. I trust my husband to trade stock and know that if I tried to even figure out what is going on in the stock market, I would REALLY mess things up. However, you may be much more knowledgeable about it than your husband, in which case, I would advise you to be glad he listened to your advice.

Answer 4

Well, here's the thing, she's wrong, he's wrong and you are not. If she gave him wrong information or misled him in a business deal and you knew it and expressed your opinion etc while he was on the phone, you saved him time, money and a HUGE headache. He honestly didn't have to tell her why he'd changed his mind, but he should have felt good that you kept him from making a mistake. She's just mad because she lost a "deal" with him; she'll get over it. I'd ignore her and explain to him that you save him from making a poor business decision. He'll either respect you for it and "still be mad" or get over it completely =)

Answer 5

He should have been discussing it with you in the first place so he was in the wrong anyway. He sounds a little immature to me....Don't worry honey, I realise you're feeling a little humiliated but I think this says more about him than you.....hey, none of us are perfect & there's no way we can go the whole of our married life without being let down & bemused sometime by our partners....

Answer 6

In a marriage when money is being spent, I feel you should have a say in the matter. The way he handled that was totally inconsiderate and rude. He should've thought enough of you to discuss the matter before the decision was made and that would've eliminated you saying anything that he thought was out of place. Communication is as important as trust if not more!!

Answer 7

confront him, don't let him get away with this. u also have a say in this. u are not wrong at all. we teach others how to treat us by accepting the way they treat us. u have every right to have opinions and have your say about any matter that concerns u too. he insulted u.

Answer 8

if this is an issue over money then here is my solution...you need to have your own job making your own money going into your own account with only your name on it. you do not need to have a joint account. because if he makes such transactions without your knowledge then you should be able to also. but if it's about saving face (or whatever the hell it's called) then you need to just do yourself a favor and separate your own personal finances apart from his. that way he can spend his money like he wants to and you can spend your money like you want to

Answer 9

Don't make a big deal out of it. He used you as an excuse to get out of the deal. Married people do that sometimes.

Answer 10

is it your money if not keep you mouth shut if it is your money take it from him and keep it away from him.this is a money thing nothing more he did not say a lie did he .you were trying to help by putting in your two cents .you care ,good for you,that is nothing to be humiliated in fact this man should feel shame as he has no back bone .