i love my gf. in fact , i dont love anyone more than i love her. not even myself! and i know that she loves me too. my love is reciprocated.
but she still keeps in touch with her ex .. her first love apparantely. no matter how many times i tell her that i dont like it or that i am disturbed by it, she doesn understand me. she promised me that she wont keep in touch with him, but recently i saw some offline mess from him to her.
i dont suspect her. she is not that sort. but i want her to understand that i feel insecure abt this. why wont she understand. i give her love that can even compare to what her parents can dream to give. she is everything to me.
i dint take this issue with her serisouly cos i dint wanna a have fight and its almost gonna be a year now since the relationship started.,
what should i do? help!
2007-03-12 05:01:12 · 24 answers · asked by aryan_vikas2000 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well firstly, nothing is wrong with her keeping in touch with her ex. However, it is very wrong of her to lie about it. You claim that you trust her, but would you be asking this question is you did? You say she is not the type to cheat, yet she lies about keeping in contact with him! I can tell that this issue pains you, and truthfully, I cannot say with certainty that she is fooling around or even thinking about it. You need to confront her with the truth, and evaluate the relationship. is she worth the drama? Even if she isn't cheating on you, you must consider the fact that trust is VERY important in a relationship, and there isn't much of a relationship without trust. Lastly, you need to work on your jealousy issues. It is highly unlikely that you can meet a girl that has no ex-boyfriends. Getting over a first love can take a lifetime sometimes, so you need to be a bit more understanding. Good luck.
2007-03-12 05:25:31 · answer #1 · answered by the15don86 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to keep your insecurity issues from spoiling the relationship. If you truly believe you treat her great and she has no reason to leave, then leave it at that. Loving her with your all does not give you the right to deny her to speak with people she chooses to speak to. The tighter you pull the leash, the further she will run and soon you'll have a distance between you like the grand canyon. When you tell a girl, I don't like you talking to him, it's telling her "I don't trust you to make the right decision" and it says that deep down, you don't have that much faith in your love and you don't think you are up to snuff and that she can do better. If you want her to do better, than by all means, keep telling her what to do and being petty. Or pick up your socks and boost your self esteem to ensure you keep her.
2007-03-17 12:10:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i would say trust her until she gives you a reason not to, but she has lied to you. I havent gotten completely over my first love yet, but i try to go on with my life... I have had a few long term relationships since my first and sad to say, i wasnt completely honest about still having continued contact with him to my ex boyfriends that followed, but that was because I was able to see from very early on that they were the jealous type. If she knows that you are jealous, that is probably why she was not honest with you about it. Try to back off some and tell her that you will try not to let it bother you so much... but let her know that you do value her honesty and would appreciate it if she didnt lie to you anymore... Trust me, if that is the only issue coming between you, then you may want to re-evaluate just how lucky you are, especailly if she is faithful to you and sincerely cares about you... women like that are hard to find... you could do alot worse.
2007-03-19 21:42:39 · answer #3 · answered by Crystal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should respect your feelings and not keep in touch with him just because the had a previous relationship. I'm sure she would not appreciaite if you stay in contact with a previous girlfriend.
She should understand your feelings and this should not be an issue between you both. However, if she continues to stay in contact with him there's not much you can do. You can not control another individual. Discuss this issue and as her how would she feel if you were in constant contact with an ex bf/lover. Good Luck!
2007-03-12 15:47:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say let her talk to her ex...but then again he was her first love, anyway, my husband talks to her ex, sometimes he goes over to her house and i trust him very much. I know he wouldnt cheat on me, theres a certain peace that there should be in ur heart when she goes out or talks to someone. She is with you now, he was the past, u are the present, she is with you and she loves you!!!!!!!!! What more could u want? Trust her, men cheat more than women do. So if they remain friends let their friendship be, i wouldnt worry if u were u
2007-03-12 05:43:44 · answer #5 · answered by sourgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
k u love her right ...just stay there ..see i know that u r telling that u love her the most ..all i would tell u is give some space for a relationship k u believe her right give her some privacy untill she tell u about these sensitive relationship do not open up k it will end up in a way she get illusion about u do not discuss about it why u take up so much tension just forget it u love her ..keep loving her
2007-03-12 05:10:11 · answer #6 · answered by tamanaahamed 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont do it man!!! not cool!! she shouldnt be talking to her ex thats 1st 2nd is u told her and she's STILL doing this? whats so interesting about her ex that shes hurting u this way.if she loved u she would stop this, i would NEVERRRRRR let my guy talk to his ex or i would go crazy since they broke up whats the point of them being in ur face when u have a new love? its commen sense i wouldnt talk to my ex in front of him cuz i know how a human brain reacts and thinks,people who say they trust their gf/bf dont love them. remember when ur jealous then u know u really care about the person cuz u become possessive..although this isnt mature but then again shes not acting mature do this ignore her for a while dont be rude just be formal act like u dont care(remember dont be rude) and she will notice this behavior and then u can say im ok nothing wrong and continue this..then when its a few days she asks again say this...listen i do love u but im feeling that u dont listen or care about my feelings ur still talkng to ur ex i wonder whats the reason behind this when i told u it bothers me...i duno maybe im changing since i noticed u dont care about my feelings. ok that should work for u do it and try it
2007-03-12 06:53:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
your's is the same issue as that of mine, exactly resembling. I can understand what you are feeling. Myself I am going to be the obsessive of that man i mean my gf's ex coz my gf is far way from me in another country. slowly myself i am going to lose my trust on her and she is herself saying it. I feel frustrated when i saw his messages in my gf's fb inbox.
2014-08-31 06:54:55 · answer #8 · answered by Bhat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey pal...just chill
if she's not over her past......despite you giving her all the attention and love....then there ought to be some problem...
after a year of relationship...if she still is somewhat attached to her ex and makes false promises of not contacting him then it amounts to infidelity as well...
give it a second thought................does she really deserve you???
if your conciounce says yes....dump her and move on life...
dont hang around like a loser.....
she can be all yours or none at all....make a choice....
i think the ball's in your court!!!
2007-03-20 03:17:08 · answer #9 · answered by raindrops 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That cuz she still loves him,even dough she loves u 2 but ur gurl still got love for her ex.Just becareful she does not fall into her ex trap
2007-03-19 15:45:32 · answer #10 · answered by Lalokitalinda 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋