I am wondering if a man acted meanly or abusive to his first wife, do you think he will be mean to you too. My ex-husband treated me like a princess, was so kind to me, he had a bad roving eye and cheated on me so bad. He is still very nice to his present wife, but I don't think he has changed as far as the roving eye. I think men who yell and scream alot, and say mean spirtied things, alway do, what do you all think?do people ever really change?
2007-03-12 04:56:14 · 11 answers · asked by Maria A. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My ex-husband wasn't a cheater, but he was emotionally and verbally abusive and controlling. This is why we divorced. To this day, he continues to not only try to do this with me (through my attorney), but he still tries it with our children (whom I have full custody of) and to other people. He has lost many friendships and jobs because of his behavior. He has remarried, and my daughter told me (before she stopped seeing him) that he and his new wife argued horribly BEFORE they even got married. In my experience, abusers do not change. In order to change, they have to admit they were wrong - which is something that abusive people will not do - they will always blame someone else for their problems. The second thing the abusive person has to do is to make an effort to change. If they can't admit they are wrong, they will not be willing to make the effort to change. Unless a brick hits them on the head and they have an epiphany which causes them to say "Duh! No WONDER things are this way...I've been SUCH an idiot!", then they will go on abusing. The same MAY hold true for a cheater, for the same reasons, but I believe there is greater hope for a cheater to change because their character flaw is more of a craving for sexual gratification rather than an innate need to control others.
2007-03-12 05:06:39 · answer #1 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sell off him. you may desire to've dumped him the 2nd you heard that he cheated on you the 1st time. as quickly as a cheater, continually a cheater. And if a guy is EVER cheating with you, controlling, or emotionally abusive in direction of you (i do no longer care if it rather is in basic terms each so often), then he's no longer properly worth some time.
2016-10-02 00:03:51 · answer #2 · answered by finkle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give your ex- time to show his true colors to his present wife.men who are abusive start feeling less than or no longer in control in his atmosphere.they think demanding authority and contol in some strange way allows him to get away just about anything.unless he was set straight right from the beginning.don't let a man lay down the 1st rule in a relationship.respect and trust is the only way to be.usually cheaters become abusive.
2007-03-12 05:38:42 · answer #3 · answered by momof6girlz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, it took me three wives to get it straight that i could not use my fist to get my way with a women..it cost me some time in jail and a few lawyer fees..and yes, i have been married over twenty years..and March 23, this year i will have a judge expunge my record of the assault and battery i got a few years ago..plea bargaining helps..but sometimes people finally get the message..but it take longer sometimes and some never will get the message..that's life.
2007-03-12 05:02:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell you one thing basics of a person never change , we come in contact with so many people in our life, we do expect most of people to change a little bit like this and a little bit like that but it never happens why? they are so many and we are expecting changes in them we ouselves even being a individual are not able to change reason is simple that basics be it good or bad never changes. just think.......you will get your answer
2007-03-12 05:58:25 · answer #5 · answered by pearlhunter99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you teach an old dog new tricks ? But regardless of that, we change if we want to.
2007-03-12 04:59:35 · answer #6 · answered by mother hen 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe few ever do change.
there might be some who do but I know a bunch who never have.
2007-03-12 05:01:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
no they dont change. they try to make u think they did, but they dont. trust me i was in that kind of a relationship for 12 years. i know.
2007-03-12 05:04:52 · answer #8 · answered by grasshopper9 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no not unless there is a major lifechanging event involving God.
2007-03-12 05:00:13 · answer #9 · answered by model 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
once a player, always a player!
2007-03-12 05:16:14 · answer #10 · answered by Slifer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋