my boyfriend puts pressure on me to sleep with him. Sometimes I say no, but then he gets upset. Sometimes I sleep with him to make life easier. I get scared, cos it hurts, and he's bigger than me. But he loves me, and I love him. So I don't know if its rape or not.
2007-03-12 04:46:13 · 52 answers · asked by amdram_gal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
do you say no and still sleep with him or do you let him sleep with you and say nothing rape is a very in depth subject if you said no and he carried on having sex with you its rape if you did not say no and let him then its not rape the fact you asked this question is rather worrying and i question if you should be in a relationship like this maybe you should talk to your GP or even crime stoppers everything is anonymous take care
2007-03-12 04:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont listen to those who say its rape! It most definately is not. The only time it is rape is when you have said no. Every single relationship in the world ever has always had an occasion wherby one person doesnt really feel like and the partner does so the other gives obliges. We sometimes do it because we love them and compramising is part of a lasting relationship. I take it you are a gay male??? If size is an issue then you need to telling you partner to change his style. Some people are more accomodating than others(if you know what i mean). if you not the bigger type then im afraid if he doesnt want to change his style then you may have sow you oats elswhere! Good luck
2007-03-12 05:00:08 · answer #2 · answered by carswoody 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you willingly have sex with someone, it is not rape. However, if you are agreeing to have sex with someone because they are pressuring you to do so and you are fearful if you don't, then in that sense, it is rape because he is forcing you to have sex. If you don't feel you are being forced into it out of what he could do to you, then it isn't rape if you willingly go along with it. Either way, the guy is not acting loving toward you, no matter if he tells you he loves you or not. If he is doing things correctly, it should not hurt you the way it is hurting (1st time might hurt, but sounds like you have done this a few times with him). He sounds like he is not considering your needs and feelings at all. Love doesn't do that. The fact that you are asking if this is rape also is a red flag that this relationship isn't right. Please re-think not only sleeping with your boyfriend but being with him to begin with. When someone really loves you, they will have respect for your wishes and feelings and will not do things to cause you physical pain. Sleeping with someone to make life easier is not "normal" in a healthy relationship. Sleeping with someone should be pleasurable for both people involved. Please re-think this guy. There is someone out there who will treat you right and when they say they love you, they will demonstrate it by their actions.
2007-03-12 04:56:37 · answer #3 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to prove it's rape if you do it 'to make life easier' and you continue to take this kind of 'unwanted' pressure from a boyfriend. How can you love him - and why would you ever try to describe as rape something you consent to with a boyfriend whom you say you love?
If you say no and then do it anyway - and this is a pattern that repeats - you are doing something willingly that you said you are unwilling to do. You stay with him, you say you love him. You'd probably be mad if someone tried to come between you and this 'rapist.' Sounds like it is rape, in your own mind, when you want it to be.
2007-03-12 04:53:14 · answer #4 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not rape. Just because your boyfriend throws a fit when he doesn't get what he wants doesn't mean that you have to let him sleep with you. You can say "no" and that's fine. If he can't accept no for an answer then he's just being a jerk.
But, from what you tell me, you give in and let him have sex with you. That's consent, and it's not rape. Your gonna have to stand up for yourself if you want this to stop. Even if it means loosing him.
2007-03-12 04:51:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he doesn't love you if he gets mad cuz you dont want to have sex with him. Sex is an extra part of a relationship, it shouldn't be the main thing...it should never be forced on you if you don't want it. People who love each other take that into consideration and there wouldn't be pressure involved.
It's not rape and if you agree after he gets mad and say fine lets do it. If you've been raped, there's no doubt in your mind that you have been.
2007-03-12 04:51:02 · answer #6 · answered by Nicole C 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you say no, and he still makes you, then it is rape. If you dont want to do somthing and your partner makes you. Then sorry to say this but he does not respect you. No matter how hard it is, you need to get out of there now, and move on. You have a right to be happy, and respected and if your partner cant do that then he is wrong for you. Find some one who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve,
2007-03-12 04:51:21 · answer #7 · answered by djp6314 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
However reluctantly you finally gave in, and have done it a few times, it's definitely not rape. If you are not happy for this to carry on for whatever reason, you need to be frank with him & sort it out together. If your unwillingness is only because it hurts as you said, I take it you mean the love-act itself. This could be a mental or physical problem. If in doubt, check out with your doctor.
2007-03-16 03:42:07 · answer #8 · answered by MoiMoii 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just wondering how old are you. If a person forces you to do something you don't want its rape. If you say no and he keeps going its rape. When you say his bigger than you what do you mean? You need to talk to a professional.
2007-03-12 04:51:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it is not rape because you sit their and you let him manipulate you. But at the same time mentally its rape, but you need to sit down and really talk to him about that situation cause it could get way out of hand, and if he dosent listen then that means hes not good enough for you.
2007-03-12 05:01:25 · answer #10 · answered by Lucy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋