Your husband cheats, promised it wouldn't happen again. few weeks same story with same woman, he denies!?

Question

He must be in love with her that is why he goes back to her again and again. Is it better to file for divorce?

Answer 1

Your husband feels he can get away with cheating and that is why he does it. Whenever anyone cheats, they are seeking something from another person that they are not getting from their spouse. This does not consitute your husband to cheat. This is why it is of upmost important for you (the spouse that is being cheated on) to bring out tough love once cheating has been exposed. By doing this, the message you need to relay (not just with your words but with action) is that cheating is something that will NOT be tolerated. In other words, he must come to believe that you will not put up with it, and your actions MUST back up your words. By doing this, you make him face up to what he has done and to focus on working on the marriage. Otherwise, he will continue to take comfort in what he feels he can get away with. You must take the bull by its horns now! Let him know, if he wants to be with her then he needs to go, if he wishes to be with you, then you let him know that he will need to recommit himself to the marriage and end it with her. If he doesn't, then you need to follow through and back up of what you said. That means leaving him, pull yourself away from him. He needs to face consequenses if he is ever gonna change. This is not easy to do, but the only thing you can to if your marriage has any chance of being saved. If the marriage is un-savable, then you need to know it now. Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

The biggest part of the other's woman's "lure" right now is that they have to sneak and lie and not get caught which causes a huge adrenaline rush which can actually be better than even the sex. Love has nothing to do with that.

As far as gettting a divorce - when the turmoil stops inside a clear solution will come. It may be divorce, it may be a separation, it may be counseling, etc. . . I wouldn't make a decision while my emotional level is high but I would insist on separate sleeping arrangments until the marriage is resolved.

Good luck. And remember, his infidelities have nothing to do with you and you did not fail as a wife!

Answer 3

He may not be in love with her, but he is getting something from her that he likes. You need to find out why he is cheating, and for that I'd suggest counseling with either a p-shrink or your pastor.

Back in 1993-4 I was engaged to a girl who lived halfway across town. We normally saw each other mainly on weekends. Turns out those evenings when she said she was going to the gym she was getting another kind of workout, with a guy five years younger who worked in her office. Funny thing is I met him, and was introduced BY HER as her fiance'.

When I found out we were through. I was shocked, hurt, and very angry. She apologized and said it would never happen again. I believed her. I took her back. That lasted a whole whopping ten days when I actually caught them. She said she was leaving town to see her mother (whom I had a good relationship with). I had been making plans for us to go to New Orleans for Valentines Day when I was given two options. I called her at her mother's to see which worked best for her. Her mother said she wasn't due until tomorrow. I drove over to her place and saw his car. He ran away like a coward when I appeared at her door. I told her "We're through" and that was it. Adios!

He gave her more attention because he was more convenient (same office, lived closer). She also had the added thrill of a guy five years younger, so it was an ego stroke. Turns out she lasted six months with him and found someone else (all the while her mother kept trying to get her to go back to me).

So, seek counseling (something we should have done) first. If the reason for cheating doesn't come out, file for divorce.

Answer 4

If it's happened twice and especially after he was confronted and promised not to again, GET RID OF HIM NOW!!! You'll never be able to trust him again and what do you have without trust?? You shouldn't have to share or even wonder if you're sharing but whether married or not, when 2 people make a commitment to each other, it should be viewed as very sacred. Obviously he doesn't take that matter too seriously. There is someone out there who will and you deserve it. Don't settle for his abuse or neglect.

Answer 5

Hell yah and the sooner the better. Most guys say that they will never cheat but u know they will. So its best if u file for divorce and take all that he has. But don't keep taking him back b/c u will only get hurt in the long run.

Answer 6

My grandmother gave me a word of advice that has proven true time and time again. A man will only do to you what you allow him to do to you. You caught your husband cheating and got mad, but made no effort to leave or demaind marriage counseling so he figured he could get away with it and did it again. Does he love her? Who knows. But the fact remains that he disrespected you and the vows you took.

File for seperation and see other men. A rebound man is just the thing to show both you and your soon to be ex that if he doesn't want you other men do.

Answer 7

Either She's Seducing him and he tries his best to resist but gives in every time or he's cheating and I'd file for divorce.

P.S. If you really love him and thought he loved you too you should probably stay single for a while and don't make the next great guy you meet pay for what some jerk did to you!!!!!!!!!!!good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

I honestly would consider it, only because if he/she cheats once, the chances are high they'll do it again either with the same person or anyone else. That person has broken a trust issue, committed adultery etc....there are too many things wrong with this to really try and save...??

Answer 9

Don't waist your time trying to figure out anything or try to work it out with him. He is apparently no good sweetie. Leave him go anywhere ditch him, kick him to the curb and when he pops his excuses and I love yous tell him it's over stand your ground and divorce that fool. The most important thing is NEVER take him back no matter how much you want to or think he has changed. He is playing with your head your heart and your happiness tell him GAME OVER!

Good Luck! :)

Answer 10

Try working things out first.
Make things understandable.
If nothing works, yeah file for divorce.