Ok I am finally getting a job ( a very good job). I havent worked since I was pregnant with my son. All I have been around is my son all day everyday for the past 9 months since he was born. So of course sepration anxiety is there for him. But is it normal for me to have seperation anxiety? Im so terrified to leave him at daycare and know that he will be looking for me. But i absolutely cannot pass up the job because its a great job as an assistant at $18 an hour. What can i do to ease the day care process for BOTH of us. I probably sound like a terrified freak but i need help.
2007-03-12 04:19:46 · 13 answers · asked by Cmaria L 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
The daycare is awesome...my friends son has been going there since he was born so she has already done all the research on this daycare. So its not the daycare im afraid of...its leaving my child and missing him
2007-03-12 04:25:45 · update #1
Just wanted to say that i really appreciate the answers. I know its gonna be harder for me than it is for him and yes thank god i am doing this while he is younger and not old enough to really understand. But i am loving the answers and they are making me feel less like an overly attatched freak...haha
2007-03-12 05:01:35 · update #2
I wish there was something other than time that could heal your anxiety! So many moms (and dads even) have been in your shoes! It is never easy! It is never fun! SOmehow, though, we all get through it and find that our kids really do like being in a group setting and that they are safe and happy. I think a lot of it has to do with the natural egocentric thoughts of parents that say "No one will ever be able to love my baby as much as I do and no one will be able to treat them as good as I do!" which is true! However, the care providers are (usually) great people who love kids and do their very best to care for our little angels while we are away.
It's not going to be easy...especially at first....but you WILL make it through OK. :)
Now if I could just convince myself of that too!!!!!
2007-03-12 04:33:27 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings are normal. To ease your mind...make sure you put your child in a reputable child care or private care. You will be fine. If you want to call about him during the day and ask how he is doing then feel free to do so. A daycare provider should have no problems with that what so ever.
Take the job and stop worrying. It does get easier with time.
2007-03-12 11:27:25 · answer #2 · answered by saved_by_grace 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you start the job, take him to daycare for an hour or two. Progress to more time. Seperation anxiety is normal and the sign of a good mother. Remember though, this really is worse for you than it is for him. =) Daycare workers are trained to deal with easing this transition.
2007-03-12 11:25:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perfectly normal. When my maternity was over my son was 12 months old. We had done a couple of visits to daycare. Its a family daycare and I have know the lady since we were 4 years old. Tell you the truth...I was more of a mess than he was...he went right in and started playing and didn't look back.
2007-03-12 11:56:45 · answer #4 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is absolutely normal for you to feel this way. But get ready for the screaming as you leave daycare. Know that once you arrive at daycare, don't prolong your time there. Say your good bye outside so that when you get inside, you can just drop him off. Also, he will cry at first - a lot - but know that he doesn't cry long. Most babies stop after a few minutes.
2007-03-12 11:25:27 · answer #5 · answered by downinmn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is absolutly normal to be scarred and worried about this transition . as a mom you know excactly what he needs and wants he has had you sole attention for nine months, and now you feel like you are leaving him , you are not leaveing him you are doing what you have to do to provide for him and better yourself .The easiest way to make the transition is the night before have a check list make sure you have every thing you need and he needs ready for the morning , luckily he is young so he won't know your leaving until you actually leave thank god your not trying to do this at 2 or 3 .In the morning get up early get your self around then get baby up make sure he is fed and content make time to play before work so he is not fussy when its time to leave or when you get to the day care, get to the day care early with him in your arms (very important ) greet the providers on a one on one level if he sees that you are comfortable he will be comfortable walk him around the room speaking to him in a happy voice show him the books and pictures and toys and the other kids by then he should feel comfortable enough to be put down ,get down on his level and play just a bit but don't tell him mommy is going bye bye ,up untill now bye bye has meant both of you , get up after a minute or 2 and leave the room do not anouce to him that you are leaveing , that will be hard ,if he cries let the provider take care of him trust me they are used to it ,plus it will help him find some trust in the people in the room after afew days of that he will be jumping outa your arms to get down there and crawl around you will be fine and he will too good luck with your new job
2007-03-12 11:47:45 · answer #6 · answered by sarah l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal for you not want to separate from your child and it's also normal for you to be scared of leaving him, but the baby needs food, clothing and many other things that need to be bought and money is needed so all I could say to you is that to lower the anxiety find somebody you trust and know well yo care for your child and that would keep you calm for the first day you leave him to go to work once you see your baby is not being harm in any way you will feel more comfortable.
2007-03-12 11:34:41 · answer #7 · answered by sexy mama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are having normal feelings. I am sure you have looked into the daycare and know that your little one will be in good hands. So don't feel bad and be a great provider for your family.
2007-03-12 11:26:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anne D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is normal.
Do you feel confident about the daycare you chose?
That makes a huge difference.
If you don't feel right, keep looking, and get recommendations from other mothers by word of mouth.
Good luck....I feel the same way, but you gotta take that $18 job....well worth paying for daycare.
2007-03-12 11:23:44 · answer #9 · answered by gg 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
totally normal mommy.
Just go to ur job thinking that in the end of the day ull c ur babys smile again...that will help make ur day happier/'and without worries. and if u got him a good babysitter theres nothing u should worry about..theres many good daycare now. and ur kid will def. gonna get used to it after while..he might cry a lot in the beginning but jsut give him sometime..he will get used to it in a heat beat. just like u
2007-03-12 11:25:31 · answer #10 · answered by Just_Me 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋