Help....new baby question?

Question

Hello all! Im having a c section next monday and im just getting worried about the in laws. There is A LOT OF THEM....and I want to know what or how I can make sure our brand new lil baby doesnt get passed around from person to person. How can we limit how long each person holds her or the amount? There are seriously around 25 of them (they are a close family so they would all be there) and I know its a new baby and everyone is excited but i am not at all comfortable with her being passed around. Did anyone else feel this way or have this problem?

THanks in advance!

Answer 1

Decide in advance with your husband (this is his family) who will get to hold the baby and how long. I suggest everyone or no one, so you don't have to rank them. Maybe get your MIL to help, too. If everyone is healthy and washes their hands, it should be ok if your baby is healthy. Remember, new babies have your immunity for the first few weeks, longer if you breast feed.

Or, have your husband walk the baby around and show everyone, but don't give her up. He is the dad, and I don't think any reasonable person would begrudge him time with his new baby, especially if she is the first.

Remember, your baby is used to being inside you with no comtrol over her movements. She will be used to moving around, standing still will be new to her. New babies are very portable and forgiving.

If you do limit contact, you might want to make an exception for anyone who had to travel to the event. If everyone is close by, have them come by one or two a day and get more quality time with you and the baby.

YOU ARE THE MOM, and what you say goes, even if it seems unreasonable to everyone else. But let your husband in on it so he can help. If they will come by when you are still in the hospital, tell the nurses what you want. They will make it happen. It is their job and they are used to it.

Answer 2

Hey....if you don't feel right about them being there and handling your baby, by all means tell them that you want to wait. If you are feeling anxiety NOW, just wait until you are anticipating them showing up any minute.

I will tell you why:

I had decided that didn't want ANY visitors....I also didn't want ANY calls. (my hospital phone wouldn't stop ringing).

My sister in law wanted to come see me and the baby, and when my husband told her that I didn't want visitors, she got upset. My husband got mad at me too, and told me that she was coming, no matter what.

After you have a csection, you are passing gas loudly CONSTANTLY for a few days. You feel like crap. You want to bond with your baby. Employees of the hospital will be coming and going every minute. To have extra people standing around can be a crazy experience for someone who has undergone very serious surgery. You will also be in pain, and won't be allowed to eat until you pass enough gas to please the nurse. (trust me). You will be HUNGRY and tired.

With all that going on, I experienced a panic attack, and started hyperventilating. I had never had one before, so I didn't know what was happening.

Make sure that everyone in your family knows EXACTLY what you want. Do not tolerate arguments from anyone. Make sure this happens before you have the baby, so there is no confusion afterwards.

A csection is a very big deal, and it may be overwhelming for you to have that many people around.

Now for the part about the baby being held.....If ANYONE has a cold, your baby could get RSV disease. They shouldn't hold the baby.

Most docs recommend not exposing your baby to many people before he is 6 weeks old.

Last, think about 25 people in a little recovery room. Not only is it an invasion of your privacy, but it is an overwhelming burden for the hospital. It was tough enough for my husband to not be in the way after my cesarean...with all the nurses, much less 25 PEOPLE???

Take care of the conflict now. Don't wait until you are loaded up on pain meds to send people away. And if anyone gets offended, TOO BAD. Invite everyone over to the house 6 weeks or more after the baby is born.

Answer 3

Well, I understand your concern. However, if you don't want the child being passed around. Limit your visitors to a few a day. But try not to be too concerned. They are all excited for you, your husband and the baby. Trust me as a mother of 3 already that baby will be passed around. But the child has no idea, they sleep a lot in the first few days. Let the people get their joy and before you know it, you'll be at home. However, expect at family gatherings, etc. that people will want to hold and see your baby. Babies don't stay babies for long and they want to cherish your special child as much as you do.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Have your family come at different times of the day. Dont have them all in the room at once. If they turn up together have the nurse limit the number of guests in the room to two people at a time. You can also have the nurse mention to them that its best if they have a 10-15 minute visit as you are very tired and need some rest.

The nurse will be there to make sure nothing gets out of hand and they will do whatever you ask them when it comes to visitations. They know family can get out of hand.

My nurse put a sign on the door for me saying "No visitors until after 1pm". And then she controlled the amount of people in the room for me. Just make sure you tell her!

Good luck for your big day!!

Answer 5

This is your baby... this is your day... you're the one who went through nine months of pregnancy, and you're the one who is going through the surgery to have it. If you are feeling uneasy about all those people handling your baby (and who wouldn't be) just voice your opinion. If you don't want to come right out and say it... just make up excuses. Are you nursing? That's a good way to say that baby needs to stay with mommy. You can come up with all kinds of reasons why you don't want people passing around your baby. Say you worry about germs, which is a very reasonable excuse. Or say you want just a while to bond with your baby before other people do. It's your baby.. and all the relatives will have plently of time later on after you're more comfortable to see the baby. Stand up for yourself! Good luck!

Answer 6

Yes, I had this problem too. When it comes to your "in-laws" it's your husband's responsibility to talk to them. Just like when it's your family, it's your responsibility to have those awkward discussions. Just get him to tell his family that the two of you are uncomfortable with your child being handled by so many people initially but you welcome visitors in ____months. You really do have to establish some ground rules and boundaries with family and friends with a new baby. That is one of your husband's new roles and he will probably be up to task...most men are! The good news is that everyone understands why it's not good for an infant to be handled a lot, and my entire family was very respectful of our wishes. I'm sure his will be too, it just has to be laid out for them in a polite way. good luck

Answer 7

After your c-section they'll have you on all those meds and you'll t hink you can handle visitors, but once you get home you'll wish you rested while you where in the hospital and you'll want a bunch of helpers at your house. Make them wait for you to get home first. They'll be all over the place doing you favors and you'll need it in the beginning!

I hope today isn't that monday you were referring to, because then this answer is pointless.

Answer 8

I hade the same problem....when i hade my son everyone wanted to hold him and kiss him and it was like i never got to see him....and then finally i just told them.....this is my son....and i dont want him to be passed around like that...i know it seems mean and i never thought i would say something like that but i did....and they really do respect what u have to say and what u want....just be honest with them...this is ur child and u are the mother and what u want goes....and if they dont accept that then to bad...