my work collegue does everything with her fella they have been together 10 years and they dont socialise with anyone else apart from each other. me and my boyfriend often go out seperatley and he will go down the pub with his mates and have a few beers likewise with me. i was having a moan about my bloke and she said it seems like you want different things like ive matured and he hasn't. just beucase he still sees the same friends and has a drink! where in our late twenties and live together but no children. its just made me feel crap and like are relationship isnt good enough and he is really immature.
2007-03-12 04:05:19 · 23 answers · asked by Pebbles 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're fine! My guy and i live together and are in our late 20s also! no kids (thank goodness...at least not yet)........we love doin our own thing. to each his own. don't feel like crap, and i think it's better you and your man have your own friends and individuality. you're not as dependant on one another.....don't listen to her. i wish i had a mate like you (cause I don't have many friends since i'm not from here.)
2007-03-12 04:09:30 · answer #1 · answered by ~♥~mama-to-be~♥~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just maybe it took this work colleague to help you to realise that your relationship is crap and that it is going no where .
She has sassed that something is amiss and is just rubbing salt into the wound. Or maybe she is speaking the truth and you do not want to acknowledge the fact you have a problem.
Do not let her phase you but do take sometime out on your own without her input to assess where you are and how you feel about your relationship with this guy
You know we all get into a rut and life can become very mundane and repetitive it does not necessarily means it is wrong it just means that we must make the most of the time we are given. So maybe this is shot in the arm that you needed and it is a wake up call.
Sometimes it takes a perfect stranger to notice something that has been staring us in the face for months.
All the best and it will soon be spring.
2007-03-12 04:19:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she was deliberately trying to make you feel crap although she could have been a bit more tactful! Don't listen to her. In my opinion, your boyfriend, isn't immature, however, he is young and should be going out with his mate regularly, as should you. You have no children so why shouldn't you both enjoy the odd night down the pub with your mates? Its completely normal, not immature. As long as he's not out every night and as long as you do socialise together, there is no problem and no reason for you to feel crappy. ou should be congratulating yourself on the fact that you trust each other to go out alone - you clearly have a strong relationship but are still individuals. This woman's relationship sounds to me, quite unnatural. How can she never socialise with anyone other than her bloke? She's probably incredibly possessive and doesn't trust him.
2007-03-12 04:28:52 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does sound a bit immature, a guy who wants his relationship to go further should be past this! Especially in his late twenties?
Each couple are different - different couples have their own idea of healthiness in a relationship. My boyfriend and I spent virtually the whole time together, just us over Xmas - and we found it really, really difficult getting back into the world!!!!So it is advisable that you spend a balanced amount of time with others too...obviously not as much as each other but you know what I mean :)
The other thing is, if you let her have that control over your relationship she can make you feel how she likes. Intentionally or not...but its worth digging deeper, trying to find out why it's made you feel so insecure..!
Good luck, Bless...
2007-03-13 07:30:31 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs Stevo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are few perfect models in life - least of all in relationships. What works for you might not work for your best friend, and vice versa. A minority of couples have open relationships where anything goes (including "infidelity"). Other couples are true to their only partner like swans and only part on death. Similarly some great marriages are between total opposites who do most things apart, but still relate strongly to one another. Who sets the rules?
My model would be to share most things in your life with your partner, but give each other space from time to time. But that's me - might not be right for you.
The only rule is... there are no rules! Certainly you should reject the rules that might be imposed by religion!
2007-03-12 04:13:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did she hit a raw nerve? Maybe she hit on something that you had wondered and thats why you felt crap? Realisation can be a bit shi**y sometimes.
On the other hand, maybe you both a have life independently of each other and thats totally healthy. Don't let others dictate to you how you should run your relationship. If you are truely happy you will continue and progress and mature and change together, when you are both ready and not when other peopl think you should.
Enjoy, you are still young!
2007-03-12 04:09:58 · answer #6 · answered by michelle a 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No need to worry, I'm 33, have been with my partner for 7 years and we still have separate intrests and friends as well as joint interests and friends. I think it's healthy. If you only ever do things together then conversation must get dull, how is there anything new. How many funny stories about what happened on the last lads night do you think her husband has to tell? Sounds like she is jealous that her relationship has gone stagnant.
2007-03-12 04:13:34 · answer #7 · answered by Timothy S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am like your colleague - Me and my partner are each others best friend.
If you don't like someones opinion, then just don't ask for it. It really is that simple. Sorry to be unpopular but don't bring your personal life into work. Especially when you don't want feedback. B*tchy office girls will do that. I admit, she wasn't being very diplomatic - however you do talk about her and her partners bond as if you we're jealous. :-(
Did she touch a nerve - is that why you feel like crap? I really am not getting at you at all - I'm just saying how it looks from an outsider.
Would you secretly like to have that sort of relationship? Maybe you need to question why you feel like crap.
2007-03-12 04:14:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If all relationships were the same life would be boring!! It is good that you spend time away from each other and your work colleague is prob a bit jealous. I couldnt stand just being with my bloke all the time i would be bored to tears and never have much to say to him, dont you take any notice, she needs to concentrate on her own relationship. As for you having a moan - well we all do that
2007-03-12 04:10:38 · answer #9 · answered by bobbleheado5 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop blaming your colleague. Her comment would not have upset you if you didn't think it might be true. It's time for a little self-examination. What are your goals for your marriage? What is your timetable? What is your concept of a good marriage? Write some of these answers out, and then start having a series of conversations with your husband about what his goals, timetable, and concepts are. Start sharing information and work on your relationship to make it how YOU both want it to be.
2007-03-12 04:11:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋