well, im not open yet. it's only that they have some suspicions. as i see, my sister does not want me to be gay. even though i'm not telling her nor anyone i know she thinks of it. she's very anti-gay! i hate that! I don't want to ruin my relationship w/ her and i don't want to ruin who i am! one time, she asked me if that classmate of mine she met the other time w/ me is gay (w/c is true), then i just told her ... "maybe". she asked why don't i ask him, then i just responded--- its not appropriate. she thinks maybe having friends w/ gay people is bad. maybe she thinks they are bad influence. another time, she told me that she has a lesbian friend and she wants me to have relationship w/ that girl. maybe she thinks that she could change us both if that happens. i just hate that! she cant change us! she doesnt need to comment such things... she should just mind her own business!!!! I understand that she cares for me (often) but she also needs to understand that i am who i am!
2007-03-12 03:23:20 · 16 answers · asked by nnn 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It doesn't matter if she or anyone else approves. Only that you approve.
2007-03-12 03:27:12 · answer #1 · answered by Paytair 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd just tell her to her face is she wants to speak to me she can show some respect. The next time she bashes gays in front of you, end the conversation right then and there however you choose. As for keeping a good relationship with her, you've got about a snowball's chance in hell of managing that if she's such a hateful, ignorant person.
2007-03-12 21:11:26 · answer #2 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and your sis have a close relationship then nothing can tear that apart. She may be hurt or dissappointed because she thinks it is a "choice" to be gay. But she will come around in time. Just like she can't change you or her friend you cannot change her. Her feelings and opinions about homosexuality may never change but the way she reacts to it could. BUT, you have to tell her or she will never stop making these comments that you don't like. And when you decided to tell her just let her know that she can't help who she is attracted to and neither can you.
2007-03-12 03:33:18 · answer #3 · answered by VMSS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I try to live my life allowing other people the right to their own journey. Sometimes it is hard but I really believe that we are here in this lifetime to learn certain lessons. We each have our own journey...our own path...our own decisions to make.
When someone acts judgmental towards me I simply say to them "I will tend to my garden and you tend to yours." The work of your life belongs to you and God. Your sister may mean well but she will never succeed in controlling others and will never feel at peace as long as she tries. She needs to get out of the center of other people's lives and take care of her own life's journey.
You seem like you love your sister a lot and I know you are torn because you want her to love you and you feel like you need her approval. However, you can't change her neither or change the situation but you can change the way you react to the situation. Please be true to your own heart and when the time is right talk to her heart to heart. Take baby steps towards telling her the truth because she may not be ready for a huge life changing situation.
Your life has a purpose....may God bless you on your journey.
2007-03-12 04:24:20 · answer #4 · answered by vampire angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a sad fact of life that our family members don't always support us when we need them the most. Just like you can't be what your sister wants you to be, your sister may never be the supportive person you wish her to be. If that's the case, it would be a waste of your time and energy to go on wishing it was otherwise. I've seen too many letters in the advice columns from people who have spent their entire lives trying to win the approval of family members who obviously will never come around. You may need to accept your sister as she is just like you want her to accept you as you are.
2007-03-12 04:38:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you rather live a lie? Don't pretend to be straight because she is anti-gay. Your life will be miserable. Is that the only criteria for her to love or not love you? Tell her your gay and if she can't except it move on. Toxic people in your life whether family or friends are no good for your happiness.
2007-03-12 03:37:12 · answer #6 · answered by Your #1 fan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are approaching this the wrong way.
You think you have a problem with your sister.
You don't.
She has a problem with herself.
Your sister, for all I care, might hate the colour red. But she still has to stop for a traffic light.
I take it you haven't 'come out' - I suggest you consider doing so, before your sister sours the relationship too much.
She probably suspects it. But your sister has some things to learn. Some things are not the way we would like them to be, and we can only accept them.
2007-03-12 03:36:18 · answer #7 · answered by mgerben 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dude that sucks for you but you don't need anyone's approval to be who you are. Tell her that you're gay wehn you think the time is right and well if she does not get it then too bad tell her that it is not a choice that, it's just who you are.
Even though i'm straight I hate homophobes, they are ignorant it is no different than being racist.
2007-03-12 04:31:36 · answer #8 · answered by NavyBoi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will unfortunately take a family member talking to her to help her open her mind. A family member who is gay may also force her to change her opinion. People who are gay can not change because she does not want them to be gay, and she needs to understand that
2007-03-12 03:30:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you were to just say it, her opinions might change, ofen they do when its someone in the family, and if she doesnt change her mind, maybe you could show her she's wrong. I'm sure everyone will tell you this, but if she doesnt accept it, then you really should just give up
2007-03-12 04:37:25 · answer #10 · answered by chrisinrush 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your sister needs to mind her own business and worry about living her own life.
2007-03-12 05:43:34 · answer #11 · answered by jasgallo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋