Hi all...My husband and I are going back and forth about having our daughter in the delivery room. My feeling is that she can start out in there, and if any of us get too uncomfortable with it (including her) that we can take her out. But, I think it would be amazing for her to learn about birth and to be there at the ultimate moment. I'd like to know from people who chose to share this with their children, and those who didn't. Older children only, please. For obvious reasons, 2 and 3 year olds would probably not fare well in the room.
2007-03-12 03:22:01 · 30 answers · asked by bb 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I had my child in the room when she was 6. first i told her what was going to happen and if she has any questions. It was the best thing i did because she felt as if she was involved with then knew baby.
2007-03-12 03:59:52 · answer #1 · answered by babyyapi 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am about to give birth to twins and I have a 20 month old and a 5 and 6 year old. I will not have my children in the room, because they are to young to understand the process, and if and when they see the blood and the fluids and the IV's running into my arms, it could and will scare the daylights out of them. If I cry or scream out, or if there is a problem, they would be scared and just be in the way if there was an emergency. It is too much drama and comotion and they can't make any sense out of it. My children didn't even really like that I was sick and in the hospital. I had to go in for a week back when I was about 13 weeks along, and I had to have an oxygen mask and was hooked up to an IV. They just didn't understand. Also the hospital might not let her in the room. Our hospital only allows children for visitng after or before.
2007-03-12 03:36:09 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara C 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You could not pay me to have my 6 year old in the delivery room. I'm sorry but they are just not old enough to understand what is going on. Also, with her there I would not be able to focus 100% on giving birth, I would be distracted. You need to be able to give 100% undivided attention to getting this baby into the world, you really should not be concerned with taking care of and worrying about what your 6 year old is going through. Also I feel that this might be tramatizing for your daughter. Also, if, god forbid, something goes wrong for you or the baby or both would you really want your 6 year old to witness it? I'm sorry but I've given birth 3 times and am about to again and there is nothing (in the eyes of a child) beautiful or serene about birth. My children will be spending the time I am giving birth in comfort, at their grandmothers', probably watching Dora the Explorer. Just my oppinions. Hope I've helped!
2007-03-12 03:51:50 · answer #3 · answered by autumnofserenity@sbcglobal.net 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
All the answers you had received are very good and correct.You should not have your 6 year old child in the room while giving birth.It could be traumatizing for her to see you in pain and why you are bleeding. Every child should know the facts of life,not right now as 6 years old is way too young. When she gets older I would tell her where babies come from.
2007-03-12 04:59:42 · answer #4 · answered by fairydust52606 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think its a good idea. It could be to traumatic for her to see her mom in so much pain. If you really want her to experience this with you then video tape the birth. When she's older she may choose to view it. You can also have her come in the room right after the baby is born.
I have an 8 year old and I think that is even to young.
2007-03-12 03:32:11 · answer #5 · answered by foodie 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing last year when I wanted my 7 year old son present for my baby's birth. At the last minute, we decided against it - and it was a blessing. I ruptured my uterus and the doctor's couldn't stop the bleeding. Ending up losing 50% of my body's blood and had to get rushed to the O.R. In hindsight, I am so glad my son was not around to witness it all happening. Even if he was there in the beginning and had to get rushed out of the room, he would have panicked wondering what is wrong with Mommy. Thank goodness we made the right decision!!! I am here today to talk about it....my baby boy is happy and healthy and will be a year old next month....and his big brother is so proud and loves him to pieces. Best wishes to you and your new arrival!
2007-03-12 03:32:06 · answer #6 · answered by 2Good4U 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is too young to experience this. No matter how old a child is, seeing her mother giving birth is a scary experience. Her world revolves around you, seeing you in what she will feel is hurting will only traumatize her. You can let her see you and the baby right after giving birth, after the baby is cleaned up and you are too. The need to have her there isn't for her, but is really there because you want it. I never allowed my children to see me in what they would have preceived as pain or danger. They loved their siblings and have forged such great relationships with each other, so no being there when I gave birth sure didn't hurt their relationships.
2007-03-12 03:39:25 · answer #7 · answered by Nancy W 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have a 6 and a half year old son and by the time I give birth my daughters will be 5 and 4. They have all watched "Baby Story on TLC" with me. They understand that the doctors, etc. will be helping me get their baby brother out. I think that seeing that is enough for them. They don't want to witness their mother in pain. My children all understand that that is how the baby is going to come out and when he's out they will be able to see him. Exposure first hand, I don't think your daughter will be upset if she doesn't see it happen. Honestly, is it you or your daughter who wants this experience? If your daughter does, I suggest video taping it and she can view it at a later time. Whatever you decide, good luck.
2007-03-12 03:37:46 · answer #8 · answered by Momma K 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I understand that you've had children before, so you know what to expect, but I really don't think a 6 year old can handle the experience. I know not everyone is going to agree with me, but I would rather keep her away and let her enjoy the baby after, than have to possibly deal with her being disturbed by the events of the birth. I can't imagine allowing a child under 15 to be present, and only if they know fully what to expect and that they truely want to be there. The birth of a child is a beautiful thing, but it is painful, sometimes dangerous, bloody and sometimes scary. I can't think of a six year old that would want to see their mother in that kind of pain.
2007-03-12 03:29:15 · answer #9 · answered by average_american_superhero 3 · 7⤊ 0⤋
I have a six year old step daughter who lives with me and her father full time and we are not going to allow her be in the room. She gets scared when I hurt myself a little I would not want to put her through that. Though she will come in and visit while things are still pretty calm.
One thing that we are going to do is once everything is said and done and things are cleaned up she is going to be the first one to come in and spend some time with her sister first. That way she has that special time of being the first.
2007-03-12 09:33:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her mind is not foundationally strong enough to support the weight of trauma she will be wittnessing. No matter how much you tell her, show her, explain to her will not deter this. If she doesn't say a word, know something isn't right. Up to this point all has been fun and games, school, friends, etc.. To just drop her in the middle of a situation that consists of an open vagina stretched to its' limits, blood and fluid, and this slimey thing being pulled out ( that, in her mind, she is now related to ) seems to be a bit much. She may have serious reservations about having her own children, loving her sibling with an unbiased vieew, maybe not. Just seems to much to expect her to cope with this, unscathed, and come out all 'fine and dandy'. If she was a few years older, maybe. Children in other cultures sometimes witness this, but this is more the 'norm' for other cultures. They are already used to this, where life is open, hard, and raw..Our culture isn't set that way. Being comfortable, if possible rich, a microwave generation just doesn't prepare a six-year old for this. Now, there are always exeptions to the rule. Maybe she's one of them, probably not. Taking a chance of scarring the pshche of my child is just too much to risk for my pleasure of seeing my big girl 'handle it' is not right. Just my opinion.
2007-03-12 03:52:30 · answer #11 · answered by AVON I 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋