My husband and I have been married for alittle less than a year. We just tried successfully to get pregnant. I noticed that my husband has been "browsing" online for other married women. He has not made contact with anyone but he has browsed. I don't know how to deal with the situation. I feel if I confront him then I lose any chance of finding out what his intentions are. Can anyone give any REAL advise?
2007-03-12 03:05:48 · 31 answers · asked by Kristy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Love sometimes means we have to confront others about their behavior. Ask him to go to counseling with you NOW. You need to nip this in the bud - as a couple -, before "browsing" develops into ACTION. There are many who will tell you "Let him look", but they couldn't BE more wrong.
When Jesus said "If thine eye offends thee, pluck it out...." etc, He was NOT speaking in literal terms. He meant that if there is a temptation, REMOVE IT / AVOID IT! We are all directly responsible for the choices we make. Your husband not only has a problem, he is disrespecting you and dishonoring the marriage vows he took.
2007-03-12 03:38:35 · answer #1 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Straying Husband.. Need Advise?
2014-12-18 17:17:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...if he is already browsing then you may be late. He will be offended that you have been checking up on him. He will likely try to make that into a big deal to avoid the real issue. Just be honest. Tell him you were on the computer and noticed some sites that you didn't visit and that you need to know what is going on with him.
Pregnancy can be a difficult time for a man...fear of losing freedoms, etc. Suggest that if he wants to make the marriage work you seek counseling together.
My first husband cheated on me while I was pregnant and ended up leaving me for woman he was seeing. I was left with a 6-week old baby to raise. If I had known what he was up to at the time, I would have left him behind.
I know that you want to believe that he hasn't done anything, but there are always ways for people to do these things without our knowledge. Definitely discuss the problem with him now before it's too late.
2007-03-12 03:14:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, you know him. Does he do things in everyday life that worry you? Like, I found a man that doesn't flirt, doesn't lie, doesn't go to Hooters and I know where he is all the time. Our online life is open to both of us. I know what he does online and he knows what I do. But do you have a man who exhibits nonfaithful behavior? Just going to Hooters isn't a cheating sign by the way, but we agreed before we got married that we didn't want one of us out partying. If one did, the other went too. It just keeps things on the table.
Keep watching, keep your eyes open. Now that you are pregnant, that changes things. Your options are not so clear now.
Personally, I would sit him down and talk about "How would you feel if I did all the things you do online/at work/after work?" kwim? Tell him not to answer, to just think about that question. Things you know he does, things you don't. Just stew on it.
If all he does is lie and cover, then you really have something to think about. Cheating behavior is always bad. But so early, and a baby on the way already...that could just be freaking him out. It can take time to get used to the idea of forever, one person. Or he could be someone who cheats.
2007-03-12 03:13:46 · answer #4 · answered by WriterMom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
CONFRONT HIM AND IF HIS INTENTIONS ARE BAD, THANK GOD YOU DIDN'T GET PREGNANT AND CUT HIM LOSE.SOME MEN THINK THEY DESERVE MORE THAN ONE WOMAN T A TIME. OTHERS , WHEN CAUGHT, PROMSE NOT TO DO IT AGAIN, AND THEN BECAUSE THEY HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN THEY THINK THEY CAN DO IT AGAIN AND KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT.
But the possibility does exist that he is trying to get advice from other married women in the same position that you are and he is concerned about you so he's trying to find out how to be a better husband, as well as be more understanding of differences particular to women.
But if you don't confront him it may turn out badly and leave you mistrusful and bitter about men. We aren't all pigs and sexists.
2007-03-12 03:17:41 · answer #5 · answered by Master Ang Gi Guong 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you didn't choose wisely in choosing a husband. Only one year of marriage and the honey moon is already over? Something is wrong. He shouldn't be browsing for anything except things to make his pregnant wife happy. Better to confront him now instead of later, you might not be able to handle what you might find later!
2007-03-12 03:36:25 · answer #6 · answered by Special K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to assert this yet my grandfather have been given ot be the comparable way and as quickly as we've been finally able to get him to the generic practitioner they stated he replaced into interior the early ranges of Alzheimer's ailment. The generic practitioner advised us that they are going to start to alter their moods commonly and in the event that they do no longer understand or can no longer guard what is going on they'll turn it to anger. some human beings take their anger out on all people and don't understand what they are doing is misguided and how plenty they are hurting their kinfolk. while you're you able to could desire to get him to a doctor and spot in the event that they could decide what's misguided with him yet i might do it as quickly as obtainable previously he severs despite dating he has together with his kinfolk. good success!
2016-10-01 23:57:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would confront him. Ask him what's going on and why is he browsing for other married women? I believe that communication is the key to a happy marriage. My wife and I are able to talk about any subject no matter how rough or unpleasant. Hopefully you and your husband can be able to do that. Good luck
2007-03-12 03:15:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is not good. You have not been married for long and he is already "poking" around the Internet. You need to talk to him about it before you allow him enough space to feel like he can check things out. If you are pregnant it is even more important that he understands the impact of marriage... not only are you going to need him to step up, you need him to voice his intentions for your future. You don't need to worry about what his intentions are... you are correct about being upset whether he is browsing through personals or he plans to contact one... there is no difference.
Just remember to always look out for yourself and your child. You need to nip this in the bud now and that is if he is really someone that you should be building your life with. He has to earn it.
2007-03-12 03:18:19 · answer #9 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Confront him and ask him just exactly just what is going on with him browsing for other women. Trustworthy husbands don't do things like that, non trustworthy ones do. Let him know he best knock it off or you're not going to lose him, he's going to loose you.
2007-03-12 03:13:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋