=almost everyday, but now its hardly once a month or once in 2 months!!And this is after my initiation. i am unhappy and disatisfied I tried talking many times , but he has nothing to say. Always says he is too tired or sleepy. And even if im upset, he hardly asks me why or wants to know more. otherwise very loving and affectionate, he is a darling. he never seems to be bothered about our non existent sex life. What do i do?HELP!
2007-03-12 03:05:26 · 19 answers · asked by gorgeeous 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have tried talking to him laods of times. he says there are no problems. He says work is too stressful and tiring, he is a doctor. But in know so many doctor men who have equally or more stressful jobs who are all over their partners. alo, I always thought sex destresses. I have spoken to him. he says he will try, but he never does.
2007-03-12 03:33:22 · update #1
there really isn't much you can do...i mean it sounds like you have tried to communicate.....he has told you...he is too tired and sleepy....perhaps you can ask him if there is a time that is best for him EVER?
i have been through this with my hubby before and after marriage. the only thing i can offer you is this. marriage is not about sex, nor is a relationship. Our culture needs to understand that both before and after marriage.
for myself it seems like he wants it now that he is away all the time. when he comes home he wants it all the time now and wears me out!
please don't make this a focus and let it cause issues in the marriage. again, he is tired. accept his feelings in the matter and let it be. don't expect sex...enjoy marriage and how special he is as a person, you are as a person, that is what matters most for yourself, him and in life.
he may be going through something as well. don't pressure him, let him be.
2007-03-12 03:17:34 · answer #1 · answered by LM 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there
I'm a guy and in the same situation. It's sometimes hard to come to terms with this. I myself have tried talking about it, throwing money at it, the works! The hardest part is trying to identify the reason why? There could be a very good reason for his sudden change. He could have a stressful job or have problems at work. There could be family issues hes not addressing. Or there could be other reasons that aren't very nice but you may have to come to terms with. People will tell you to try to spice things up by doing this and that but until you know whats causing the problem you wont be able to find a cure. Try to get him to talk about it and explain how its hurting you. Sometimes that's all that's required. If he refuses to face the problem then you need to watch, look and listen to try and find the answers for yourself.
Best of luck
Regards
idai
2007-03-12 10:20:46 · answer #2 · answered by idai 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is obviously him that has the problem hun not you! He needs to talk to you about this though as it will never be solved and you will feel more and more rejected as time goes on. Sex isnt everything but if he is showing no interest at all then there is a problem. Perhaps he is shattered after working, does he have a particularly physical or mentally straining job? Get him to talk, tell him how you feel and that it is hurting you, communication is the main factor and then whatever his problem is you can solve together. Good luck love xx
2007-03-12 10:13:21 · answer #3 · answered by Jaksi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your age, the amount of time you've been married and the fact that before marriage your sex life was great all indicate that the situation you ar going through now is not usual, to say the least! There has to be an explanation and only he can give it to you. Before taking this to another level such as marriage counseling, I suggest you sit down with him and voice you nonconformity in such a way that he can see that it is truly affecting you and the stability of your relationship. There are many factors that can contribute to his lack of interest in sex. It could be stress related. It could be that there has been a change in you that he is afraid to bring up. It could be that he is cheating. It could be any number of things or combination thereof but you have to dialog before coming to any extreme solutions. I wish you the best in resolving this matter.
2007-03-12 10:18:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is 29 that says alot right there he is nearing 30 sex drive drops in us (unfortunatly) but once a month something is amiss there if you are unhappy and unsatified with the sex he may be able to sence this and doesnt want to for fear of letting you down you have only been married for a short while try to hang in there for a bit longer maybe right now he is just going thru extra stress at work time will tell
2007-03-12 10:18:50 · answer #5 · answered by gands4ever 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He says he's tired or sleepy, apart from that, he's loving and affectionate. Well, maybe he is just tired and sleepy!! Try to enjoy the time you have with him, without having sex. Don't pressure him by trying to talk too much. His libido will probably come back soon enough.
It's surely hard on you so maybe you can try to please yourself with sex toys? And try to get him involve with it (not too much physical effort in it!)!
If it lasts too long, I would advice you to seek counselling!
Good luck!
2007-03-12 12:27:15 · answer #6 · answered by jol22n 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get away from him for a while. Show him you have a life other than him and waiting on him.
My and my bf went through this too. I was miserable - find you a good toy in the mean time.
Dress different act different tease him some.
And try wrestling around with him. for some ODD reason that always works.
2007-03-12 10:15:47 · answer #7 · answered by Mia l 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I am sorry to hear that you are in this situation. I too am in this same boat. There are others like us. We have a support group where you can talk to people that really understand how horrible it is to love someone who won't have sex with you... he might even look down on or resent your natural sexual desires for him. SWAGE is the group. Please feel free to visit us, or to write to me.
p.s. Different people have different sex drives, there's nothing wrong with you... you're o.k.
james
2007-03-12 10:49:54 · answer #8 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
oh girl! may be he is experiencing that erection problem? just ask him w/o anger and showing your tension.. he could tell you. i have been in the same problem with my husband... you know he finally told with.. crying.. you know why it was happended? we have been quarelling -i need more time with him before sex and he never didn't care, just he came to me and went w/o my participation. anyways...if they start think they can't satisfy a girl.. wow it is a disaster for them. do you have this kind of problem b/n you. you can solve this by yourself... tell him that he can do....love him.... give him a courage, it will change i tell you
2007-03-12 10:39:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Communication, communication hun. I know you say you've tried but try n try again!! If this continues you will resent him and go looking somewhere else..........!! Mayb something is goin on in his head, it doesn't sound normal he's only 29. Good luck x x x
2007-03-12 10:34:13 · answer #10 · answered by Dolly 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋