2007-03-12 02:47:18 · 29 answers · asked by Bawee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, if this addiction has led him to cheat on you, then I would say you must go.
2007-03-12 02:49:40 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry about your situation. Based on the information (or lack of it), I have to ask "Do you really LOVE your husband"....because he has TWO problems:
1) He's a sex addict
2) He's a liar.
The first can be resolved with LOTS of counseling for your husband; the second problem is MUCH harder to deal with. You may not know if the counseling is effective, because a liar will tell you whatever you want to hear. He's obviously very good a lying if you didn't know his problem existed for four years. At any rate, if you want to try to save your marriage, he's going to have to see a sex therapist. This is the same as treating an alcohol or drug addiction - he's not even going to be able to watch a LOT of television shows on regular cable tv because of sexual content / partial nudity - or even commercials for stuff like Victoria's Secret or Hanes underwear , and you're BOTH going to have to be willing to see a marital counselor. He is going to have to purposely change the way he looks at women, and start seeing them as PEOPLE, instead of sex objects.
My prayers are with you.
2007-03-12 04:58:08 · answer #2 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That would depend on you and how his addiction is affecting you. Now I find it hard to believe that you had NO idea this was going on? He would have made some signs of it, watching porn all the time (on TV or the net) wanting you to do crazy sexual things - or not having sex with you at all but getting his kicks strictly with porn. The bottom line is, he didn't just "up and start having this fetish and double life". You had to have ignored some signs. With that said, again, it's up to what YOU want and what YOU will or will not tolerate. If it bothers you, ask him to get help, if he doesn't want to, then you must do what's best for you (and your children if you have them). Good luck.
2007-03-12 02:55:59 · answer #3 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think most people realize that sex addiction is not just about someone who likes alot of sex, it is a compulsion and very rarely is it enjoyable. Also sex addiction can be the out cropping of some traumatic experience from childhood, like molestation. At face value I would say you should stay and help him through councelling, (which is a must) I wish you the very best.Remeber this, you are married, don't be like the rest of the sheep out there who bail on thier spouse so easily.
2007-03-12 03:06:40 · answer #4 · answered by frogenstien 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It kinda bothers me that we can now elevate wanting sex to addiction status. It seems like its an attempt to make infidelity OK in a way. Almost like its something we cant be expected to control. That bugs me. No one is responsible for any bad behavior anymore. You and your husband have to decide if the marriage is worth salvaging. A therapist should guide you through the process. I cant image it would be easy considering the extent of the infidelity here. But worse relationships have been repaired.
2007-03-12 02:52:30 · answer #5 · answered by Devdude 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow depends on if he has cheated on you? I don't know if you should leave just because he is addicted to sex!! And by double life if he has other women then yeah leave but if he has secert porn and a yahoo dating service no your love is worth more than that!
2007-03-12 03:19:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
addiction that has caused betrayal and hurt, is a good reason to just get out of it, not that u don't still love him, but suppose u forgave, took him back and than it happened again to u. personally i would need to go if it had been going on 4 years. simply because betrayal hurts, and i would rather go though the pain just once, not over and over again. addictions are really hard to stop, they seem to always go back to them no matter what. what he is saying to u is that what u have to give him is not enough or not what he really wants.
2007-03-12 03:01:47 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sexual addiction is a real mental illness. Is he getting help? Sex addicts have alot of emptiness inside that they are constantly trying to fill. It`s going to take years of therapy and rehabilition to kick him of these compulsions. You sure you want to see him through it? Like the others have said you need to get tested for STD`s as well you never know what he picked up along his sexual escapades..But I feel bad for both of you, it doesn`t matter what kind of mental illness a spouse is suffering from, they both have deep pain emotionally as a result ..... Good Luck..
2007-03-12 06:52:58 · answer #8 · answered by lost2day 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well if he cheated on you yes. But if not then I would say yes unless u don't like sex that much and well then your husband will definatly cheat because every guy loves sex and if they don't get they go find it. Hope everything works out for yah!
2007-03-12 02:54:36 · answer #9 · answered by Caitlin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you need a ton bricks to fall on you? 4 years of being a cheat. How is it that it took you 4 years to find out?
Whats that say about you? But to answer your ? GET RID OF THE 2 TIMING PCS OF TRASH. ONCE A CHEAT ALWAYS A CHEAT.
2007-03-12 03:03:35 · answer #10 · answered by tommyhawk 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depends on a few things. What is his attitude? His he VERY VERY sorry, ashamed, and willing to get counseling for his addiction? Or does he not care?
How do you feel about your vows? Do you absolutely mean it when you said "through sickness and in health"? If you mean it, then you need to stay. I know it is hard, but we all have weaknesses, we all make mistakes. But if he is willing to work on his addiction, then stick it out. He needs you.
2007-03-12 03:14:21 · answer #11 · answered by an88mikewife 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋