I just got married and my wife has two kids age 3 and 9 what should I get them to call me as there step dad.?

Question

Is calling me by my first name disrespectul and they are girls. They 3 years old call me dad sometimes but the 9 calls me by my first name.

Answer 1

I am in a similiar situation, my girlfriend and I are planning to get married and she has an infant and a 17 month old. Both girls. And they are not mine. Both since both are young, the 17 month old calls me daddy and the infant will when she is able to talk, but as for you, for the 3 year old, you could try to have the toddler say daddy, being as which you will really be one, and for the nine year old, have her make a choice, if the nine year old wants to call you by dad, so be it, if not, then don't push it. Kids want to be independent and like choices. if you make them feel comfortable with you, they will be more open and loving.

Answer 2

Let them call you by your first name. Since you are not their father don't try to be one. Be an encouraging friend. If you love them and take care of them they will be comfortable with you. It doesn't matter what they call you. What ever you do, leave the discipline up to your wife. The best gift you can give the children is a good marriage with their mom. The kids did not pick you. Their mom did. Give them time to accept you. At their age, there is time for you to become a trusted adult friend. Don't mess this up for them. They have too much at steak. Good luck.

Answer 3

What have they been calling you all along while you and your wife were dating? Growing up, I called my stepfather by his first name. My children call my husband by his first name. Sometimes "dad" gets thrown in and that is fine too. If you are the only father figure in their life, then maybe dad eventually, but dont force them to call you what you want. Rather, wait for them to decide.

Answer 4

Don't introduce yourself like that.

Make sure you get into conversation/games (not barge) but express yourself infront of them when the mom is around:
a) a familiar person is there
b) its comfortable and lets them know more about who you are.

For the first few months of living, act fatherly:
- ask them how their day was, and even if you don't get an answer the first time, the next day might be good.
- offer to give them lifts to places if ever
Be close and flexible and they'll warm to you.

NOTE: Don't ever force them to say you're their stepdad or "accept the fact that you and her are married" no matter how mad they get, or else you lose COMPLETELY and can never get it back.

Answer 5

Those poor kids. You really are just their mom's husband right now. Nothing more. You aren't their dad. If they have a dad who is actively involved DO NOT try to replace him or take over any of his roles. They are too young and will likely be confused by this. Focus on your marriage and your wife and expect nothing from these kids-it isn't fair to ask anything of them right now.

Answer 6

I would rather just let them call you by your name. They do still have a father and right now it could be confusing to them to have to call you dad. If they want to call you dad - that is their choice but rather give them the option.

Answer 7

what should you get them? I do not understand the question. You want them to call you Step-Dad? The 3yo will be more adaptable to you coming into his/her life but the 9yo, well you will have to maintain a relationship/friendship with her/him before they will accept you into their life.

Answer 8

Let them call you whatever they are comfortable calling you. I mean by your first name, if they want to call you dad then let them.

Answer 9

Don't rush it!!!! Buy them a new car! What are you talking about? The older one for sure will resent you if you push it...Take it one step (no pun) at a time.

Answer 10

Don't worry,as long as you love them like your own kids,they will love you back someday