Ed doesn't get his mail at our house, he gets it at a PO BOX so that I won't see it.
I know nothing about his finances or his budget. I would like to know so that I can plan accordingly and not expect too much or too little; He freaks if I come within a few feet of his computer and immediately minimizes to his desktop. He is on the computer for hours every day, I don't know what he does!
The only time I ever snooped in 18 years was when he was having an affair that he said he wasn't having.He has always kept all but the most mundane to himself or I should say me.
We have been together many years.
How can he expect a woman to be warm and tender, trusting and committed and FORGIVING when he gets angry with me when I want to share his life?
2007-03-12 02:36:24 · 7 answers · asked by hello_ms_moore 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If he has had an affair then what the heck are you doing still hanging around?!
You don't want to "share his life"-let's be honest and call it what it is-You don't trust him and you want to know his every move so you can constantly be reassured he isn't cheating. If there are no children involved-and I hope there isn't-you have no moral obligation to stay with a man who has had an affair.
If YOU make the choice to forgive his affair then YOU have to make the step in moving on, learning to trust again and not snoop through his things, loom over his shoulder and constantly berate him for not sharing his every move with you.
2007-03-12 02:41:16 · answer #1 · answered by conservamommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you signed up for this. From what little we know, this is not new behavior. Now any woman will tell you, most men that act this way are hiding something. It's true, if he didn't have something to hide, he wouldn't keep it a secret.'
Im sure you have told him this yourself. But you have chosen to be with a man you knew was secretive. You chose to stay with a man who you KNOW cheats. Forgiving is one thing. Staying when you know he cheats, that's something else.
So you have let him have it his way alllllllllllll this time. Your natural intuition is right, he is probably cheating, having a very full relationship online with porn or other women or other men, whatever. He may even be having lots of real sex with them. Because you said yes to secrets a long time ago.
If you want to stay with him, based on behavior you are now tired of, then you can ask him to change it. If he does not, it's up to you how you spend the next ten, twenty years of YOUR life.
2007-03-12 09:44:14 · answer #2 · answered by WriterMom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seriously sounds to me that he is hiding something. Have you actually sat down and asked him why he doesnt want you to see his stuff? I know of some marriage that have their finances seperate so that they can feel that they have their own money...but it's not a secret as to what's in eachother's accounts. Has he always been this way or is this a new behavior?
2007-03-12 09:44:31 · answer #3 · answered by Betty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
boy, you sure must love this guy a lot. the sayings like, "love is blind", smoke gets in your eyes, can't see the forest for the trees,definitely pertain to you. i'd have closed the door on this guy already. give him what he seems to need, to live alone.
2007-03-12 09:45:05 · answer #4 · answered by it's just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For heaven's sake of course you can't have a relationship! If the kids are grown and gone, I would leave him
2007-03-12 09:40:47 · answer #5 · answered by megan261980 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know he is up to something. Why are you wasting your time with someone who does not love you enough to be honest?
2007-03-12 09:40:44 · answer #6 · answered by mikey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has another life, and it doesnt include you!
you dont really Have a relationship...
2007-03-12 09:40:51 · answer #7 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋