We've had good week, thought all was going well, then I asked if he loved me again, he said no, but he liked me alot still. He booked us a holiday last week. He has invited me out with his friends. Then he tells me he doesn't feel as a loving couple should and feels guilty about it! We had quarrelled alot prior to this, but we have now stopped it. This was because of my insecurities, jealousies, new job, moving away to be with him, and my ex husband's death.
He has stopped feeling sexual towards me but adores me, and swears there is no-one else!!
I am now thinking of staying in aB&B for a week for him to wake up and see me as a real woman. I don't want to move out until his wake up call from me. Would this prove anything? I feel so low. He is a great guy and I would be upset to lose him..
2007-03-12 02:35:06 · 25 answers · asked by Sani 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you cant rush love
2007-03-12 02:39:09 · answer #1 · answered by Amber 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Then he means what he is saying here. He likes you but does not love you yet. Love takes time and right now all he is doing is liking you alot. Go out with him and his friends and have fun. Do not get too wrapped up in this guy as he only likes you alot right now. If you happen to find another guy so be it because he has not told you he loves you. He should not feel guilty about how he is feeling and you should understand this. You cannot make someone love or want to be with you and at least he is being honest with you about it. Give him some time and space and let him get to know you better before thinking he has to love you. You need to take your time and heal from the pain of your past and your husbands death. Is this guy kinda like a rebound thing for you? If he is it probably wont work out or last anyways. I feel you should slow things way down with this guy and take your time. Start seeing other people here and there and go out on dates with different guys and leave your options open and let him do the same. This is only fair to the both of you. Good luck . You should nove out though because staying with him might make him feel pressured and trapped. I am here if you need to talk as well. Be firends with him for a while and who knows maybe someday down the road it may change into more but dont pressure or push him into it. Let him be him and you be you. If you hold on too tight you just may lose him anyways. They say if you love someone you let them go and if it is meant to be they will come back to you.
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2007-03-12 03:17:18 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and have a long talk with this guy tell him how you feel when he says he likes you alot but he doesn't love you and then go ahead and go to the B&B and see how things are when you come back. I seriously doubt that things are going to change if that is the way he feels so you will probably end up moving out anyway.
Good Luck
2007-03-12 02:50:25 · answer #3 · answered by butterflybaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if someone feels gulity after being with you surely they have more issues within themselves and too coward to admit it, as they are scared to admit to themselves they have a problem.
I was in a similar siutation, where I was involved with someone that I thought was the best person I ever met, all the arrangements of meeting up and how we got together was instigated and controlled by him and I thought I was the luckiest person in the world. When we were together they were the best and most memorable, but then he would go all cold towards me for a couple of weeks then be back to the best person in the world telling me he missed me and call me to tell me that he didn't want me thinking that he had gone off me. In the end I ended it, as he was unsure of what he wanted and I couldn't live my life waiting for someone who was so unsure of themselves, I wanted control of my feelings and my life back and this is something you should do whether you and him get back together or not.
I thought my life would be so sad after and it was, but time will heal and the best thing is to make a life for yourself and rebuild your life to how you want it, if he comes back to you, then thats great, if he doesn't then its his lost, but you are already on the road to having your own life back.
Good Luck, and don't waste your time testing him, when you have to test someone for their love, the answer is normally already there... and that could hurt a whole lot more ... as true hurts!
2007-03-12 03:18:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you cannot force love, nor speed it up. Just relax & go with the flow. The more you pressure him, the further away you'll be pushing him. Love takes time. Lots of time. The more you nag, the further he'll remove you from his heart as well. If you stay in a B&B, he'll think he did something wrong & feel you don't want him. Don't rush things dear. And don't ever ask someone if they love you. This only makes them feel pressured. Love can be seen as unspoken words. Feel his love for you, it doesn't have to be heard.
2007-03-12 03:03:25 · answer #5 · answered by J Doe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont get the point of this guy, he takes you out and does all these wonderful things for you but yet says he doesnt love you? and he also says that you're the only one? Do you love him? if you do, then Sit down with him tell him that by him saying he LIKES YOU ALOT and doesn't LOVE YOU is making you think these things.. No one can give you a better answer of what he is thinking then he himself!
2007-03-12 02:42:12 · answer #6 · answered by alice_nobleandkind 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are about to do the right thing. You both need time to yourselves to figure things out. If you are meant to be, you'll definitely get back together. Otherwise, you are both better off looking for the right people. Just stay in that B&B and see what happens. Best of luck!
2007-03-12 02:39:37 · answer #7 · answered by Princess of Egypt 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if u want to settle for just being liked okay, but what happens when he meets someone else he does love? if he doesn't feel like a loving couple than there is not much u can do about it. he may never see u as u do him no matter what u do.
2007-03-12 02:49:38 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi i was with a girl for 5 months nd she at first told me that she was in love with me, then she changed her mind. we had booked a weekend brek away and still went but nothing happened and it was a dissaster. we have now decided to stay friends. dont push your boyfriend as it will o0nly make him worse. i dont think moving into a b&b will make any difference. my ex said that shedoesnt want to be with anyone else and likes me a lot but doesnt love me. ont put any preasure on him and just go along with him and maybe he will realise that he does lov you and want to be with you. good luck
2007-03-12 04:30:04 · answer #9 · answered by charlesbllntyn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's trying to cut you out of his life in a gentle sort of way. But yes... I too, think that it's time for both of you to part company and move on. This sounds like a major disaster getting ready to explode if this relationship continues to exist.
2007-03-12 02:47:20 · answer #10 · answered by Braddah M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just wants to be friends. And if you are planning on making him fall for you, don't rush it, love doens't happen just like that *snaps finger*. Sometimes it's gotta go slow. But you goin' into that B&B thing sounds like you're trying to seduce him. I don't think that'll make him more comfortable with you. But if you insist...... Hope I helped.
2007-03-12 02:44:08 · answer #11 · answered by Karmen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋