I finally found out that she has been going over to another guys house to watch TV and have "fun" she said they have not done anything. We have discussed this situation all weekend and I'm not sure what to do. I have asked her to quit her job since this guy was a co-worker. I'm sure sure what else to do. We have agreed to go to counseling to open up communication, but should I stay with her or is time to leave?
2007-03-12 02:28:43 · 19 answers · asked by eyedonkey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would call a moving truck,and start packing. The next time she wants to spend her evenings with another man,that would be a good time to call some friends over to help with the moving.
Option B:..move all her stuff out and when she comes home from her "evenings out" with her boyfriend,she can get busy and call a moving van for herself.
I really don't see any other solution,stand up for yourself.
2007-03-12 02:34:50 · answer #1 · answered by Dfirefox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give it a little bit of time before you end anything. Try conseling and see if that will help any. Since you found out, she might stop going over there. There probably was something going on, but if she's caught she will most likely stop. About quitting her job though, that's a little extensive, losing money just because a guy works there that you don't even know for sure is "with" her. Think about it!
2007-03-12 02:40:02 · answer #2 · answered by Angel*Eyesz 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
All I can say is, if I found out my husband was lying to me, AND it was at some other woman's house having "fun" and stuff, his butt would be out the door! It would take a lot of convincing on his part, and lots of counseling for me to take him back. There is just no way I would believe nothing happened after he lied and snuck over there. That is just wrong. But, if you do love her, want to work it out, I would say don't leave just yet. Give it some time. People have gone through worse things in their life and have made it through.
2007-03-12 02:36:16 · answer #3 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't really justify your situation, but asking your wife to quit her job will be a big mistakes. The two of you do not have communication, and it seems that she's getting the attention from a friend which she work with. Maybe she is finding this male friend a person to talk to that the two of you never have, and maybe that person is not judging her,every move. Before you say I quit with this relationship,talk to her and ask her whats really going on. Let her speak her mind, and maybe she will realize that you'll be there to really listen this time.
Don't let her judge you nor you judge her, just think about the first year that the two of you were close, and from there work on your differences, Try first before you say,you have enough..............good luck!
2007-03-12 02:49:11 · answer #4 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its time to leave but it may be time to seriously re-evaluate some things. If she wants to work things out then going over there to just hang out...the two of them alone...is not an option. Those things should have been done prior to marriage. She can have male friends but it is inappropriate to be there alone. Would she care to have you in that situation? If she is seeking such relationships even if they are innocent then there is something lacking in your relationship with her. Now I'm not saying that you have to be her only friend and only person she talks to but....women don't seek alone time with other men unless something is lacking at home. Whether or not this is your fault is undetermined. She may have grown in a direction you are unwilling to accompany her into or an area you have already been in your growth process and don't need to revisit. Either way....explore and find out if you can recover from this. You have obviously taken this hard while she is nonchalant and unaffected. I would really examine that. No one is right or wrong here.....but this may not be something either of you want to continue because your heads are not in the right place.
2007-03-12 02:37:11 · answer #5 · answered by igot_terminal_uniqueness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has a Wife, I can tell you that that is a NO NO. NO to the tenth power.
Please listen. A lie is a lie.Marriage is about trust and if nothing was going on then she would have told you before hand were she was going and with whom.
Please seperate for a while( not a divorce). If you move on like "ok i forgive...let move on ..blah blah" she is just going to get better at lieing ,with no fear of doing worst in the future. Let her see how life is WITHOUT you. She will be embrass when you are out the house, dating( nothing serious..just to keep your juices going and to show hey im still fly lol). She would see other ladies are quick to erase and replace.
If anyone ask tell half the truth...to embrassing to tell the whole thing. I would say " My wife needs to act like one..that is all I'm going to say" Let HER go to couseling first by herself then you go in the middle with her. SHE did wrong not you!!!!! If she loves you she would go first. then slowly move back in if all is good. If not you will be already beginning the first step in a new life.
PS Cry at home you are human..but dont let HER see you stress. Please :) I know you love her but all married people deserve love and respect from thier mate. We married them cus we love , trust, and expect to life forever with them. It hurts!!!!!
Hope all goes well
2007-03-12 02:51:59 · answer #6 · answered by Princess AJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you are going to counselling, right? So, don't make any decisions now. See what will happen at the counselling and give the relationship a chance. You'll be in my thoughts. Good luck!
2007-03-12 02:41:29 · answer #7 · answered by Princess of Egypt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I certainly don't think this one incident is enough to end your marriage. It definitely is a warning sign to you that something is wrong with your marriage. I hope there aren't any children involved yet. Give the counselling a chance to work and read Dr. Laura's book, "The Ten Stupid thing Couples do to Mess up Their Relationship" and 'The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage'. Good luck!
2007-03-12 02:33:55 · answer #8 · answered by conservamommy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
right now you are understandably hurt and angry. this is not the best time to make a life altering decision. you have agreed to go to counseling so go. the best you can hope for is an open and honest discussion of your relationship. you may, after counseling, discover things that will answer your question. it is better to make an informed decision than an angry one. i wish you the best of luck
2007-03-12 03:01:06 · answer #9 · answered by simplyme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget counseling, I would just leave, because she wanders to another mans home. Thats a huge slap in the face. Apparently she is not concerned about your feelings. I would not put up with that
2007-03-12 03:08:10 · answer #10 · answered by Cheryl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋