Should I get an abortion?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for about two and a half months. I just found that I'm pregnant. He wants me to get an abortion but I'm not sure if I am willing to get an abortion or if I should keep it. He told me before I got pregnant that if I was to get pregnant that he didn't want me to keep it. He also told me that he has a lot to lose by having this child. What should I do? Should I get an abortion for him despite my reservations?

He's not a bad person. He said that we can have children in the future. He says that now is not a good time for us to a child. I like him a lot and I know that he feels the same. He already has a child. I'm just afraid that if I don't get an abortion I might lose him, or if I do I might hate him. I'm just very confused.

Answer 1

dont sleep with any man who you do not want to father your child.

if you want to murder your unborn child, go for it.

but guilt can eat you from the inside out.

Answer 2

You've had some very good answers here, so I'm just going to say (write) my piece.

1. Don't sleep with a man who you do not want to be the father of your children. He told you right off the bat that he was using you for sex and if you got pregnmant he wasn't going to have anything to do with it. Sorry, you should have listened to him on that one.

2. ALWAYS use birth control unless you are married to the man and want a baby.

3. There are soooo many couples out there who are married, stable and deisirous of a baby to love and take care of. It sounds to me like abortion is pretty much out of the question for you, so why not make another family complete and do the best thing under the circumstances and give your baby up for adoption. Perhaps you can find an open adoption arrangement where you can know about your child as he/she grows up, receive pictures, updates, etc...

4. Abortion is a serious step and definitely not something to do under pressure. Chances are that if you feel guilty about abortion now, you would later feel terrible about your decision. Having had an abortion myself at age 20, I can tell you that I don't think about it, but it was a decision that I made - not my boyfriend. Once I got married (five years later and to a different man) I was lucky that God blessed me with three beautiful daughters.

5. The last thing I will tell you is to respect yourself. This guy used you and you let him. HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU! He basically told you that up front and probably feels no regret or guilt whatsoever. Dump him ASAP! Then go on to understand that sex is not a recreational activity. It does not make you a woman. It should be something that you participate in with a man that you adore and who adores you. If a man is not willing to love you and be a father to your children in every way, he is not worthy of your attentions or your body!

Answer 3

It is completely your choice. Do not let anyone else make you feel guilty for what ever your choice is. Just weigh your facts:

How is his relationship with his current child?
Does he pay child support?
Is he a caring loving child?
Are you OK with the possibility of raising a child on your own?
Can you afford to raise a child?
Will you be a stay at home mom or work?
Can you afford $100-$250 a week for child care?
Do you have a supportive family?
What kind of enviroment do you live in?
If you have the baby, can you give it everything it needs?
Are you willing to sacrific your way of life?



There are alot of things to consider. You can't choose to keep a baby based of if he will leave you. This is a major decision. If you give up this baby and 20 years down the road are you going to look back and think you made the right decision? or are you going to think "wow, that was a selfish decision to give up a baby just because some guy might leave me."

He knows what is involved in having a child and he was clear that he did not what a child but yet the two of you became pregnant anyways. Are either of you mature enough to have a child? That is a serious question and not a put down at all!

I don't know how old you are and it shouldn't matter, but yet it does. I don't regret my children in anyway, but I wish I waited. I had my first child at 17 and 19 when I had my second. It was/is the hardest thing I have ever done. Child care is $250 a week for both children and their dad is to selfish to care about anyone else other than himself. Do what is right for you and this baby...not what everyone else thinks you should do.

Answer 4

If your very young and you want a child, keep it and tell your boyfriend to take a hike. If you had other plans for your life, like being a lawyer or doctor or whatever and can't do this with a child in your life then have an abortion. I'm pro choice, life begins when that child begins to breathe fresh air. Either way its your choice, bringing up a child alone is hard enough, and what does your boyfriend have to lose if you have this child, your the one pregnant, your the one who will raise it, just like a man,get what they want and run. You sound like a sensible person, do what you think is best for you, as far as your boyfriend and all that he has to lose if you have this child, losing his child will be the greatest thing he'll ever lose in his life. Good Luck

Answer 5

Your boyfriends' selfish attitude speaks volumes toward your decision. From the beginning he decided against a child (don't tell me - he doesn't like the feel of a condom, right?). He's not the one that will have to live with the everyday guilt of knowing they killed a defenseless child. You are personally attached to this baby, always with him or her. You can always put the baby up for adoption, to allow them the God given chance for life if you can't provide it. You both were given that chance, now it's someone elses' turn. If your boyfriend ( notice that I don't refer to him as 'loving' ) was so adamate about no baby, he should have taken, upon himself, proper measures to help insure the odds that you wouldn't get pregnant and be MAN ENOUGH to face the responsibilities if otherwise happened. All the guilt and pressure of this decision is obviously on you, make the same decision your parents did - 'give the kid a break'. Finish out your timesters, give birth, and see how you feel after seeing that precious little face. I think you already know the right thing to do. Your maternal instincts of protecting your child are already at work. If mister 'all about me' can't handle it, let him hit the bricks ( since he's as callous as one ) and make way for someone else who will 'love' you and yours (be patient, they're out there ). The level of selfishness this guy has it only fertilizer for 'a life of living hell' down the road. You deserve better than moldy leftovers. You can do bad on your own, why accept a level of uncontrollable ego and just plain 'man stupid'. Give him the choice of changing his mind about the situation. If he cares about you at all he will, at least not want the abortion. If he doesn't want to change, he needs to be out of your life. He put demands on you from the start, now it's his turn to choose. He's not having this baby, you are. This answer was witten by a 'man', it's time for your 'friend' to see how much of one he might be. The only reservation I would have about this is if your life was in danger. Otherwise, all things stay put. Love to know the baby's name.

Answer 6

A lot of people will say that it your body, that your bf may leave you if you don't etc- however statistics say that bf will leave anyway due to the emotionally roller coaster you will be on if you have an abortion. Anyone who tells their gf that if she gets pregnant she must have an abortion is very selfish. He only cares about sex and not the consequences. He has a lost to lose by having this child? What exactly does that mean- is he seeing someone else, is he married, what? It seems that he is thinking only of himself. If he really cares about you, he would not be asking you to have this abortion either- it can cause excessive bleeding, pain, torn uterus, Sometimes there are failed abortions and you have to have another surgical procedure- miscarriages later and also breast cancer risk gets higher with abortions. You gave yourself to your bf and now both of you have a responsibility to that child you are carrying. Reading your question I truly sense that you know that and do not really want this abortion. I do not know how old you are, but it seems you are probably young. I counsel women in pregnancies and know that abortion can do to the woman/girl. Also did you know that your baby's heart began beating at 3 weeks after conception. I really think you know what is best- so talk to your bf some more and please talk to your parents. I will be praying for you- I do not know if you accept emails but if you do , please email me before you make this life long decision- I would love to talk with you.

Answer 7

Do not get an abortion, even though your boyfriend will be unhappy. If you don't want to raise a child at this stage of your life, put the baby up for adoption. There are so many infertile couples who want a child. That way you make 3 people happy. P.S. dump the boyfriend and get someone who really cares about you.

Answer 8

Obviously he's telling you that you will have to carry the responsibility of this decision because he does not intend to do so. This likely means that he's the type of man who will never stand behind you in any crisis so if you lose him you are not losing much.
The choice to have an abortion or not is yours. You are the one who has to live with the decision. You have to sit down and think about the pro's and con's.
If you have the baby what will you do? If you keep it how will you manage? Do you have the type of family that will support you? There are many choices that you could make. You have to decide what's best. Talk to a cousellor, or a parent. Seek the help of a local group who can answer questions about adoption. Get all the information you can. Get rid of the boyfriend.

Answer 9

This is a no brainer. Have the abortion! When you abort a fetus that is unwanted, unplanned or the result of a rape or forced sex, you free up enough resources to save 12 fully grown children. For what you will spend to keep a fetus, you can save another child from starving to death in a third world country. I say abort, give to a charity (they say 1 dollar a day will save a child) and go on with your life. That way you save as many children as you can afford and do not bring an unwanted child into the world.
And remember, when you abort, you do not kill because the fetus does not have a soul. To think otherwise would be to think that God is a murderer when he miscarries a fetus.

Answer 10

The decision is yours. If you don't want to then don't. It will haunt you for the rest of you life if you did this unwillingly. It will also probably cause you to resent your boyfriend. Two and a half months is not that long to be in a relationship. Do you really want let someone you really barely know make a life altering decision for you? If you're not sure you can provide for a child but don't want to have an abortion there are plenty of people who are willing to adopt.

Answer 11

These are things you should have thought about before laying down without some form of birth control. It is done now. 2 1/2 months? Come on, and you already talked about getting pregnant? Just know that if you have this baby more than likely he is going to want no parts of it. Sorry to break it to you but that is the way it is. Any guy that tells you they want you to get an abortion if you happen to get pregnant should make you think twice about being intimate with him. I do not support abortion but there are other options such as adoption. You essentially need to think about you and this baby because from the sound of it he is not going to be much help to you anyway. CONDOMS PEOPLE!!!