Mom just doesn't have perspective?

Question

Instead of being grateful for what she DOES have, she is so focused on what she doesn't have. When I bring up how other moms have it worse, she says, "why do you have to compare?" as if I was comparing! I just wanted her to see that suffering is universal and being grateful is something that will aid her in seeing that the future doesn't have to be bleak nor already set.

Please...can you relate to my mom, or know how I can make her see the good (not great) that does exist in her life?

Answer 1

When you compare her to other people you are "comparing." It sounds like she is not receptive to it. In my opinion, the best thing you can do is to keep this experience as a reminder that you should not think in this manner.

You cannot make her see the good. It is likely that attempting to do so will send her into a worse mood.

Answer 2

Well... maybe you could show her some pictures or stories of women in poorer countries who have had to go through hell to survive. Maybe that could make her feel better and think of how lucky she is... to have a daughter who cares like you do, for example. Don't be too patronizing when you inform her of these things, though, because she probably knows about them and just needs reminding. Just a casual mention, from time to time, or just keep a bunch of cuttings around, like you are reading through them. I can't think of any other way you could tell her without hurting.

Do these thoughts keep your mother in a bad mood always? Cheer her up by doing little chores or favours for her. Buy her some flowers, or clean up her kitchen, or get her some thoughtful gift from time to time. These little gestures might just make her see the good that exists in her life. :)

Answer 3

Some people remain this way always. It's their personality . Unfortunately there is not much you can do about it. Don't make any comment at all. I have someone like this in my family. When they make negative comments I ignore it, and change the subject.