Personality types that endure and attract abuse?

Question

Some people just seem to end up with abusers in their circle all their lives.

What are the personality traits of people that somehow seem to draw abuse from the people around them?

Answer 1

Lack of confidence. Men are attracted to women with low self-esteems. I don’t know if this is just in our culture, but it is pretty widespread in the United States. A lot of men have low self-esteems, a pair of people with low self-esteems means that one or both parties may be putting up with abuse because they think they deserve it. That is by the far the most common trait in my opinion.

Masochism is the next most common, it is a lot harder to recognize but I think it is more common than people think. People don’t chose abusive relationships if they don’t like it. Some people will take a non-abusive relationships and make sure that it turns ‘abusive’ or end it. In those cases I’m not sure who is actually being abused, I would say the ‘abuser’ actually because they are being manipulated into abnormal behavior. Masochism isn’t necessarily physical, in fact I would say that is the exception, since all masochists must want some form of emotional pain, physical pain is one way to express that. And contrary to our cultural perspective there isn’t anything necessarily wrong with masochism. Although it could cause someone a lot of trouble if they aren’t consciously aware of it, and or also genuinely dislike the pain another part of them really likes. A weird duality can be formed there and it is very damaging to the person.

Both masochism and people with low self-respect will endure and attract abuse. Masochists will seek abuse. There is also a DSM-IV rejected personality disorder that was proposed, it was called self-defeating personality disorder. I read it was rejected because of political pressure from feminist groups, and not on the merits of the disorder itself. So there may be more of a pattern to this phenomenon than it first appears.

Answer 2

As for personality types, people with borderline personality typically live a hellish life though they generally create as much abuse as they receive.

Personality traits can include: adolescent rebellion (can last long after adolescence) where people feel liberated from the good sense that they learned growing up; repetition in adulthood of abuse experienced growing up; and fantasies that the bad behavior of others will change if they are good and loving—staying with such people does appear to make them a magnet for abuse as these people should be avoided not rescued.

In a typical abusive relationship one partner is abusive and the other takes responsibility by saying something like, " I know he/she has a hair trigger and doesn't like when I do a certain thing. If I hadn't acted as I did, he/she wouldn't have had a temper tantrum, gotten drunk or high, become physical abusive, etc. It is my fault—I could have avoided this mess having happened." Abusers tend to agree that their bad behavior is caused by others..

Answer 3

The abuse usually stems from other people that have been abused, turning them either into another abuser, or a consant victim. You can see this primarily in say, a woman who is self sabotaging, who constantly needs to find an outlet of negative attention. Men that experienced abuse will either become abusive, violent, angry, quick tempered, or also find relationships in which they are abused. Most generally have a confused sexual identity.

Answer 4

often circumstances people who're abused later in existence have been additionally abused formerly in existence. they have a warped theory of what a wholesome courting is, the two from their very own mothers and fathers or from an prolonged checklist of abuse from previous boyfriends. so a great way as character is going, an abused individual might desire to have low vanity. often circumstances they take exhilaration in drama, have a quiet, submissive character, or an irrational theory that they might exchange/help the abuser.

Answer 5

What should people in these states do?

I know of a good friend who seems to be in this situation.
Asked me once if there was a target on his head.
Talented, twisted sense of humour, intelligent.
But for whatever reason, was very insecure and struggled socially.

I tried recommending psychotherapy once, but he was convinced the problem wasn't with him.

Instead, he believed he was just hounded by extremely bad luck.

How can i help him?
How do you help people like this in general?

Answer 6

Those who have experience abuse of some kind in thier lives or seen their parents abuse each other.

Answer 7

Submissiveness, naivety, co dependency, obsessiveness, alot of the time women are the most guilty. We are taught as little children to be sweet, considerate, kind and loving. With this willing to please type personality, some women do not become as assertive as emotionally strong as you should be and are drawn to attract a father like figure and the women remains like the little child. Always wanting to please. Very sad.

Answer 8

I believe the less assertive time. Those who don't understand how to stand up for themselves and usually have less faith and courage.

Answer 9

the silent, shy types, easily influenced, who never stand up for themselves.